Aa
ABout my Anxiety-Afraid to die
I am just 22 years old., I drive my parents, my boyfriend and everyone mad for over 2 years! Everything started from last March. At first I have found two lumps under my jaw, which I need to pick up carefully in other ways doctors could not find them,they are saying it is nothing there! Then I thought I contracted AIDS- I went for tests in AIDS centre and all came back negative...After that I started to think that I have got Hodgins disease-cancer, after lyphoma, after leukemia, accute, chronic leukemia, I done hundreds of test and noone find anything, I done all the test in the world, spend a lot of money! then I calm down about one type of illness after several weeks I start imagine another one! I even went to my doctor -psychiatrist and was drinking medicine from depression, anxiety for two months. After I stopped, I felt bit better. My recent worries was - lung cancer, breast cancer, stomach cancer , now I started to think about thick borne encephalytis, I was in turkey touced the stray cat, and now I am thinking I contracted RABIES. Even I was not bitten, scrached or so, I even did not handle the cat, I just touched her fur....Not to mention I was checking myself for skin cancer in hospitals.DOctors do not know what to do with me...It is lasting for two years-this anxiety, Pain anywhere- cancer...etc... I think about starting my new aNXIETY DEPPRESION TREATMENTS with my psychiatrist..as my condition is horrible. I think It is because previously I was using ectasy pills and amphetamine every weekend , now I have stopped and do not use for one year or so,, but I can tell You DRUGS- ARE NOT FUN! It damaged my psychology for all my life!
And as my mother says You can curse an illness for yourself if u think about it...
My question what should I do with myself not to get mad and to have my life more normal as it used to be...?
And as my mother says You can curse an illness for yourself if u think about it...
My question what should I do with myself not to get mad and to have my life more normal as it used to be...?
Wow...
When I was 23 they found a lump in my arm. Turned out to be nothing...but...
I suffer from severe anxiey and panic attacks since I was very young. I have come to realize it is part biological, and brought on by enviromental factors, but it has taken years to get here. I am now 42.
I used to immedietly think the worst with every illness or problem. The Lump was removed and I was told it was not cancer. The doctor did suggest i take an AIDS test. this was in 1989. AIDS was a 100% death sentance then, and was the scariest thing on the planet. It took 2 weeks to get a test back and they were only 70% accurate. After an agonizing 2 weeks of little sleep, hardly eating, 100% stress, panic attacks, and constant worry, I was cleared. (But I felt those 2 weeks took 20 years out of me. Sheer Terror)
I have had other episodes since, but none as bad as that one. My Mom died suddenly of a heart attack last summer, so for a while I was convinced i was going to drop dead in the night like she did. Still do at times.
Hang in there, seek help. There will be good days, and bad days. try and convince yourself its all in your mind. Don't let the fear win.
Take Care.
When I was 23 they found a lump in my arm. Turned out to be nothing...but...
I suffer from severe anxiey and panic attacks since I was very young. I have come to realize it is part biological, and brought on by enviromental factors, but it has taken years to get here. I am now 42.
I used to immedietly think the worst with every illness or problem. The Lump was removed and I was told it was not cancer. The doctor did suggest i take an AIDS test. this was in 1989. AIDS was a 100% death sentance then, and was the scariest thing on the planet. It took 2 weeks to get a test back and they were only 70% accurate. After an agonizing 2 weeks of little sleep, hardly eating, 100% stress, panic attacks, and constant worry, I was cleared. (But I felt those 2 weeks took 20 years out of me. Sheer Terror)
I have had other episodes since, but none as bad as that one. My Mom died suddenly of a heart attack last summer, so for a while I was convinced i was going to drop dead in the night like she did. Still do at times.
Hang in there, seek help. There will be good days, and bad days. try and convince yourself its all in your mind. Don't let the fear win.
Take Care.
You found the right place. You are among people who know exactly what you are going through. Everyone with anxiety has their own little unique quirks and phobias. Yours happens to be Health phobias...which are VERY common. High levels of anxiety CAUSE very real physical symptoms...which of course scares you that much more...and then you "what if" yourself into a frenzy. Plus, if you are a google fanatic....I'm sure you've realized by now that ANY symptom you search for will yield at least one fatal disease or condition. ;0)
So...the cycle of anxiety continues. You are anxious....you worry and "what if" about the diseases you could possibly have....THAT in turn makes you THAT much more anxious...which causes real physical symptoms....and increases the worry/panic. All the while you are BEGGING the docs to believe that you, a healthy YOUNG woman have developed brain cancer/heart disease/liver failure/kidney failure (insert fatal disease of choice here) overnight. TONS of tests and reassurances later...you breathe a sigh of relief,,,until the next terminal condition pops in your mind.
Let's be honest...I don't think ANY young person hasn't gone thru SOME level of the fear of dying before. The concept of mortality, especially when young IS frightening...to say the least. Yours is just more severe and is affecting your life...which is why you're here...it's time to do something about it, right?
If you have to...find a new psychiatrist. You need a thorough eval, a diagnosis (if you haven't yet had one)...and a game plan....most likely something involving meds and therapy. That will be up to you and your doc to sit down and discuss. Then, when you have formulated a plan...work it and be patient. This kind of thinking doesn't pop up overnight...it's partially a learned behavior ...so you have to UN-DO that thinking, and it takes time. The good news is...it can be done. Have faith and get the support you need. Stick around here...it helps soooo much knowing that you're FAR from alone in this battle...that so many other people like you..."normal" people that happen to suffer with anxiety are here...ready to share, offer support and suggestions...and learn from YOU when you share YOUR experiences. It's a nice give and take kinda deal. And, darn it...if the price aint right! ;0)
Please let us know how you're doing....and when you have tough moments while you are getting to that next step (the professionals)...come here and read...see how others cope...get some ideas....even give yourself some relief reading others' posts....ya know...the ones that you say to yourself when reading them..."OMG....*I* could have written that myself!!!!". For ME...that has always been comforting in itself.
Hang in there....it WILL get better. Glad to have you here.....welcome.
So...the cycle of anxiety continues. You are anxious....you worry and "what if" about the diseases you could possibly have....THAT in turn makes you THAT much more anxious...which causes real physical symptoms....and increases the worry/panic. All the while you are BEGGING the docs to believe that you, a healthy YOUNG woman have developed brain cancer/heart disease/liver failure/kidney failure (insert fatal disease of choice here) overnight. TONS of tests and reassurances later...you breathe a sigh of relief,,,until the next terminal condition pops in your mind.
Let's be honest...I don't think ANY young person hasn't gone thru SOME level of the fear of dying before. The concept of mortality, especially when young IS frightening...to say the least. Yours is just more severe and is affecting your life...which is why you're here...it's time to do something about it, right?
If you have to...find a new psychiatrist. You need a thorough eval, a diagnosis (if you haven't yet had one)...and a game plan....most likely something involving meds and therapy. That will be up to you and your doc to sit down and discuss. Then, when you have formulated a plan...work it and be patient. This kind of thinking doesn't pop up overnight...it's partially a learned behavior ...so you have to UN-DO that thinking, and it takes time. The good news is...it can be done. Have faith and get the support you need. Stick around here...it helps soooo much knowing that you're FAR from alone in this battle...that so many other people like you..."normal" people that happen to suffer with anxiety are here...ready to share, offer support and suggestions...and learn from YOU when you share YOUR experiences. It's a nice give and take kinda deal. And, darn it...if the price aint right! ;0)
Please let us know how you're doing....and when you have tough moments while you are getting to that next step (the professionals)...come here and read...see how others cope...get some ideas....even give yourself some relief reading others' posts....ya know...the ones that you say to yourself when reading them..."OMG....*I* could have written that myself!!!!". For ME...that has always been comforting in itself.
Hang in there....it WILL get better. Glad to have you here.....welcome.
I hear what you are saying and I hear you saying you know you were not bitten or scratched and still worried about rabies. Even scratched won't transmit rabies, not even a little bite. Has to be a deep bite from a rabied infected animal. They are usually mean and attack not cute and fluffy with that disease. You seem to know that you don't have it but then you feel like you do. I wonder if this is anxiety or an off balance level. The psyc doctor would need to work with you on meds to balance this. Don't just stay on one keep working with your doctor to try new stuff until you find something that helps more. You know deep inside this feeling is just a feeling. I am so sorry, I know this has to be hard. Very hard. The lumps can be anything from underskin acne that goes away or cysts that can go away. Both completely harmless and can be brought on my stress. If there is anything real and dangerous it is stress. Stress that will cause all these feelings. Which in turn cause more stress. :( Work with your Psyc Dr.
"If you are still having these feelings on your meds then you need to either switch, or increase dosage, or give it a little more time depending on what you are taking. "
All of this should be done under a doctor's care, of course.
All of this should be done under a doctor's care, of course.
If you are still having these feelings on your meds then you need to either switch, or increase dosage, or give it a little more time depending on what you are taking.
What medications are you currently being prescribed, and how much?
What medications are you currently being prescribed, and how much?
That is why I started to write in this forum...Indeed , when I see that some people are also experiencing the same it helps me to chill out a bit. Even I do not have with who to talk , noone is listening and trough my anxiety and thinking how I am bad today I lost so many contacts with people, I locked myself in the small small world..I hope medications is going to help me calm down, But still on medications I have never stopped thinking I die! Anyways amish thanks for Your replays, Hope to talk to You more;)
That's what we do, girl! I can make it through a bad anxiety/panic attack but i'm always telling myself "What if it isn't really anxiety this time? What if I really am having a heart attack?" You need to get in control of these negative thoughts.
And being tired doesn't help you, get as much sleep as you can. If you are energized there are less "symptoms" to get your mind started racing.
You REALLY need to see a dr. and get something to help your nerves and make an appointment to see a therapist. We have ALL been through exactly this (believe it or not). At times you may say "There is no way anyone has had it as bad as me", but we have all said that to ourselves. You are in company of a lot of people.
Hang in there!
And being tired doesn't help you, get as much sleep as you can. If you are energized there are less "symptoms" to get your mind started racing.
You REALLY need to see a dr. and get something to help your nerves and make an appointment to see a therapist. We have ALL been through exactly this (believe it or not). At times you may say "There is no way anyone has had it as bad as me", but we have all said that to ourselves. You are in company of a lot of people.
Hang in there!
I have got some new fears today...I am so tired...need to solve out myself. Even If I work a lot , study a lot, I come back home , have 1 hour free time and start new history of my illness.The most scary thing is that I can really get so ill one day..and this time it will not be an anxiety...
Hello Something! Boy, you are just like me and about 100 other people on this site! I thought I had AIDS, lupus, MS, brain tumor, etc, etc, etc....I went for brain scans, MRI's Cat Scans, blood work, blood work, blood work, allergy tests.....you name it, I DID IT! It is such an awful feeling when you feel there is something wrong and no one believes you. However, you have to believe the doctors....it IS psychological. I finally got into therapy and on Medication. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I do admit that there are still days when I am in a battle with myself to keep my mind from going "there"....but I will say I am 90% better. It does take time, but you can do it too. Get to a psychiatrist...a GP is not specialized in this field and many times prescribe the wrong type of med. Also, talk therapy is very important to go along with meds. You need to get to the root of what ails you. Best to you. You will make it through!
The thing is that if I read about an illness all my syptoms are the same, I start to imagine. I am cancer by zodiac by the way so my imagination has always been really big... I imagine the things from my childhood but after drugs it worsen. I am just confused, as my anxiety last year went too far I developed flu like symptoms almostly everyday, was feeling like got some temperature after Xanax treatment my flu-like symptoms have dissapeared and are not presented until now. I know is long way to go to rech a normal state I used to be before two years. I need to get better as I will really curse an illness for myself!
You are so far into it right now that you might have to consider medication together with the therapy. An SSRI might not be the right thing for you, but maybe xanex or clonazepam. You can get an earful (eyeful) on the pros and cons of benzodiazepenes on the forum here but I think they can be a very useful tool, especially with something as severe and what you are going through.
Thank You, darling for Your answer, It is really nice to find someone who understands my fears even trough internet...I will go to my GP and will ask refferences to get a right help, as I see and understand I really need it! Thanks .X
The only other approach would be cognitive behavioral therapy or some other sort of thing like that, maybe EFT. A lot of people prefer to get through it without medicine, but some people need it to help them get rid of this faster.
I have been to psychiatrist- I have anxiety, fear to die, panic attacks...Also. I have been drinking meddication XANOX- and Another one I hardly remember the name... I have stopped it , while I was drinking I felt better., but now It started again, I decided to go and do some serious actions..The thing is I do not have with someone to talk everone is tired of listening of my fears... Do You now any other way to get from this appart of medication?
You sound JUST like me, almost exact. I'm 22 years old, found lumps under my jaw, thought I had lymphoma, thought I had AIDS. I have gotten a little better through counseling and medication (prozac)
Have you talked to a pyschologist or pyschiatrist about this at all?
Have you talked to a pyschologist or pyschiatrist about this at all?
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