Hello all,
I've written quite a few posts on the Eye Conditions part of this site, and maybe one or two on this part...so for people who don't know me yet, my name is Jim. I'm 19, and have had anxiety disorder for almost 5 months. I've had it all...OCD, Anxiety, major depression, fear of getting diseases (most notably cancer.)
On Tuesday, I went to a nero-opthamologist for some quite harmless problem I was having with my eyes. For about 2 months, I had been seeing halos around lights. It wasn't bothering me too much; but my regular eye doctor thought I should go get further testing to see what it was, so I went. Well, it turns out the halos are just a refractive problem...but the nero-opthamologist looked behind my eyes, and saw that I have a very "pale optic nerve." I had no idea what that was, of course, so I went home and researched it (he wasn't going to tell me). It's pretty much like what happens if you wrap a wire or something tight across your finger...it turns white. This is happening to my optic nerve. The most notable cause for this is a brain tumor. This was NOT something I needed to hear, especially because one of my main fears is cancer. So I called the neuro-opthamologist back, and he scheduled an MRI for me...for next Friday. And then he told me the earliest appointment he had for me to come back was in the beginning of February. So I wouldn't be getting the results of my MRI back until then.
It's been three days since I found out I may have a brain tumor...and I can't function. At all. I'm a homeschooled student, and doing my schoolwork is practically impossible. I can't eat, or sleep. When I do sleep, I dream I'm dying of cancer, and I wake up screaming. Plus I have this worsening (at least, I think it is) condition with my left eye, which is making me think more and more I have a tumor pressing on my nerve. Of course, there's a good chance I don't have anything wrong with me at all. But the main thing that I need help with now is the anxiety. It's affecting me in every way of my life. I have to prepare for my SATs that I'm taking in two weeks...and I know if I don't get help by then, I won't be able to take them successfully...and because I'm 19, it's my only shot. I do see a mental health therapist for the anxiety...but she's on vacation for three weeks, and I have no way to contact her. So I'm thinking I should just check myself into a hospital...possibly get the MRI a lot sooner. And if not, I can at least get some anxiety medication. Any suggestions??
-Jim