Psychotic Episode brought on by severe anxiety

[girlybuff]

I'm always suffered from depression and anxiety but I think considering my current circumstance (marriage ending seemingly and living in the same house with husband) that I was finally driven after all these years to a nervous breakdown complete with halucinations and hearing voices and a trip to the emergency room, the night before Christmas eve.  
I couldn't see straight, i was seeing things, hearing voices, walking into the hall and roaming aimlessly, walking into closets to get into the bathroom, crawling out of my skin....... coudln't focus enough to read, had no idea who i am, where i was, speaking in weird tongues and completely incoherent.  it was scary and i am still far from ok.  It lasted about 2 days with the symptoms gradually reducing.  I'm still very shaky and on xanax regualrly to keep it at bay.
My question is this.  I know this was triggered by an emotional experience.  I was crying hysterically right before this came on and it's not the first time this has happened in the last month but the last time only lasted a few hours.  
Since it's Chtismas and all I was able to get to an emergency dr because I lfet the hopital after being told I would have had to stay for 72 hours and I had to be home for Christmas but ok, here's my question and sorry I digress...... Obviously I need some sort of after care but is this likely to happen again?  Am I going crazy, has anyone else experienced this?  Am I now schizophrenic?  Should I admit myself to a psych ward or something.  I am barely hanging on and if I don't take the medication I was given, the sedatives, I'm alsmot as bad as I was.  I can't stay on xanax forever but will therapy, intense therapy illimate this or do I need to worry that every time I get emotionally distraught that this will come back?
I now it's a lot and maybe no one has an answer or a similar experience but I'm hoping someone does.
Thanks all and Merry Christmas!!

[girlybuff]

Thank you for your words.  It's been quite a ride.  In addition to that episode I got hit with a horrendous virus so I've really been out of it.
Anyway, my point is........ I have an appt with a therapist.  I am very familiar with the whole process actually.  I am an activ member of AA for over 5 years so I do know that although the first step is acceptance, the hard part comes afterwards when you really have to make a decision to get better and do your part.  I also have a BA n psychology although it'sbeen quite a few years and can help anyone who asks for it but help myself???  Well maybe I never thought that I truly deserved it, which is why I stayed in an emotionally abusive relationship for so long but I do now and I have to because I have a child that needs ME.... imagine that, someone needing me!!
So my decisions are to take each day as they come.  To remember that this too shall pass.  That I DO need to remove myself and my child from a situation that seems to be my "trigger" and then let the rest sort itself out day by day and remember too that I am only promised my daily bread.  Sometimes I want what I want when I want it and I want to close my eyes and wake up and have a marriage I don't have and a family stability that I don't have since I've been chaasing that since I was a little girl.  I think someome smart once said we marry our parents....hahahah well I certainly did.
There is so much I can say but no one here is getting paid to listen to my **** so I will read other posts and I will contribute when I think I have something slightly intelligent to say so mayeb I can help someone else know that they aren't alone.
Thanks to you both for your comments and Have a Wonderful and Healthy New Year!!

[JSGeare]

The BIG questions: will it come back? Will I get better? Will therapy eliminate this?

If anything at all is changed -eliminated, added, whatever- it is because YOU do it. The meds will help you "stabilize" but offer no cure. Your therapist if s/he is a good one, will act as a sort of guide or professional tracker -someone who can help you find the way. This is bad news in the sense that it is hard work -there is no easy way through it, no magic bullet. But it is GOOD news because the process and the result are absolutely trustworthy because YOU are doing the work.

You do present as very intelligent and self-aware, so you've got an "edge." And I rather suspect that getting out of that bad marriage and the house may be helpful; I also know its all about the money. My point is that, in addition to changing things INSIDE of you, it is helpful to change what you can in your surroundings. It may well be -and is often the case- that much of your freaky behavior is entirely normal -or at least understandable- given the circumstances in which you find yourself.

Browse through many of the posts here issued in the past several weeks where you will see questions and answers that pertain to your situation, and don't be afraid to print out anything and bring it into a therapy session.

Now girl -get going and stay busy. 2008 is the year you get outta this mess!

[girlybuff]

thanks so much!!!  will do!

[Venora Moonwind]

let me know how the doc visit goes.in will keep you in my prayers.
Love Venora

[girlybuff]

Oh yeah that's next on the list.  I'm going today.  It's jsut frightening when you're someone who is semmingly normal to go through something like this.
I gues after the research that I've done, my only saving grace is that I knew it was not real and I knew it was not "normal" behavior and I tried to fight it every step of the way as opposed to someone sho is schizophrenic when they don't really know reality from non.
Thanks!

[Venora Moonwind]

get a psychiatrist to get evaluated and go from there.it will take a combo of the right meds and therapy for you.
Love Venora