Please someone tell me this is normal

[Alexk1989]

Hello, name is Alex and I've read a lot of helpful stories on this site so I have come to share mine, and hopefully get some advice. For the past six months I've been dealing with headaches and a type funny visual perception where's I feel as though I am a bit drowsy or intoxicated. This all started with a stressful end to a school program and tough exams along dreaded presentations. To a point where I freaked out during one presentation though I was having a heart attack, left the school, went to the hospital, got checked out told I was fine, and then I came down. Now after the last day my classmates and I went out for drink n got pretty drunk. Next day when I went to a store and was standing In line I got this random out of nowhere feeling as though the room is starting to spin and I again thought it was my heart I freaked out left the store and after a while it subsided. Now these types of attacks lasted for a bout a month or so but then subsided. I thought it was something wrong with my brain so I started freaking out and got checked out n everything was fine. I've seen several psychologists and family doctors that all tell me it's anxiety. I don't get the panic attacks anymore but I do have the headaches...that go away if I'm really distracted but come back and get worse when I'm thinking about them or I'm irritated. Now I'm worried about having a severe mental illness such as skitzo...I've been obsessing over it and researching it and paying attention to my body and my thoughts and ideas for a large portion of my time. One thing that I wanted to ask you guys if this what I'm about to explain is hallucinations. At my job there's a medical record room and inside is a small chair where often times you find a person sitting picking out charts now you don't always see someone sitting there but most of the time there is someone. Today I walked by the door which was slightly open and I noticed the chair right away and in my mind I automatically pictured someone sitting there. I did not see the image in 3D in front of me just a sharp mental image. I also immediately in a split second realized nobody is there and it was just in my mind. This happens every now and then when I'm anticipating something. I'm also very aware of my surroundings as I'm worried at some point I will start to hallucinate smh. No family history of skitzo no drug use. Have always been a nervous person and have had bouts of worrying about health issues in the past that were all cleared up with tests and forgotten about. But now it's like, ahhh there's no test for skitzo....the psychologist said ... Talking to him is the test...and ten minutes into talking to be he can tell I'm not skitzo (21 years of experience). Help, please some advice.

[mariedc]

I am inclined to agree with the psychologist.  Schizophrenia requires a number of positive signs like hallucinations and delusions and a number of negative signs like an inability to interact with others.  Schizophrenics confuse their hallucinations with reality.  You have insight into your hallucinations, that is, you know they are not real and you are not reporting any other signs of schizophrenia.  

Hallucinations can come with bipolar and in some cases with anxiety. I believe you can also have them with panic attacks. There are also physical conditions where hallucinations can occur such as epilepsy and migraine. You do report headaches but say they go away if you are distracted, which does not sound like migraine

Obviously, I am not a doctor, but what you report seems most consistent with anxiety and not an organic problem.  You might want to look into cognitive behavior therapy for your health and general anxiety and see if that helps.  For some people SSRIs help as well, but just in my personal view one is better off first going down a non-medication route.  One reason for this is that medications like SSRIs can come with all sorts of side effects and after a while it can be hard to distinguish what symptoms are coming from anxiety or some organic problem and which are simply medication side effects.

I wish you luck

[Alexk1989]

Thank you for you response, there's one more thing I wanted to mention. A while back I was in my room and my gf came and said she's about to go walk the dog, which she did and then returned. She then went to the other room and was there for a while, I was distracted and busy reading something in my phone. Then I heard a voice or a thought I don't know saying "Alex open the door!!" Seemed so real I got up to go check and half to the room my gf was in I thought hmmmm I remember her coming back in the house. Upon reaching the room that she was in the tv was on fairly loud and I heard the same voice on the tv that I heard telling me to open the door. Could I just have been distracted and my brain misinterpreted what it heard or what?

[mariedc]

This was one incident of perhaps an auditory hallucination.  And you say it was a while back.  I think you are best off not making too much of this although you can reconsider if you get more in a persistent fashion.  Most schizophrenics do not worry about having symptoms that could point to schizophrenia as their connection to reality is quite tenuous.

[Alexk1989]

I hope it was just me misinterpreting something that I did hear...just my brain filling in the gaps if what was unclear. That's what confuses me a lot of ppl that I talk to tell me if there's a tv in the background or other noise then it's not a hallucination and most likely an illusion.

[Alexk1989]

There have been also times where I'm zoned out and I hear my name called in my head...just like I did this voice...and then when I direct my attention to it I find the source that's actually calling my name.

[mariedc]

I think that's pretty normal if one has a tendency to get very engrossed in what one is doing.  Someone calls your name, but you are very engrossed and you have a faint idea your name is being called but don't respond immediately because your brain is busy doing something else.  You then belatedly look up and find someone is calling your name.  This is perfectly okay.

[Alexk1989]

Yes, that's what I think happened with the " Alex open the door" thing I most likely heated something along those lines coming from a loud tv In the other room. But my mind was distracted so my brain probably took it and registered it in it's own way.

[birdie0907]

Your problem may be just this. "obsessing over it and researching it and paying attention to my body and my thoughts and ideas for a large portion of my time."

Anxiety over having a disease makes you over-analyze your body looking for clues to some mystery disease you think you have. I can't diagnose you, but you say docs have taken a look at and say there is nothing wrong.
The key to peace is accepting the diagnosis so you can stop looking for problems. The key to anxiety is to keep searching for reasons to worry.

[Alexk1989]

Thank you berdie...I did not start experiencing this until I looked it up...and I really am over researching this, pay attention to every little thing around me. I did not mention this last thing that happened with me where I thought someone called me to open the door, but I don't think that would change the docs diagnosis.

[mariedc]

No--it wouldn't change the doctor's assessment.  Berdie is right that you are over researching and over analyzing this.  If over anxiety about your health is an ongoing problem, you might consider cognitive behavior or similar therapy.

[birdie0907]

Before looking into cbt, Alexk will gain skills in dealing with this problem if she knows what causes it. Since she just found the over-analyzing is part of the problem not the solution then I would start there and stop the Googling. As Kevin O'Leary on Shark Tank says, "Stop the madness now." lol.

Alexk - You said you are done researching this, so let's see if improvements happen in a few days. Write back.

[Alexk1989]

Trying hard not to read stuff up smh...just trying to get an understanding on my hearing occasion do that I can accept it and move on. The thing that scares me the most is that these predorm symptoms for psychosis are so common and similar to a bunch of other things. It's like if u question ten random people of the street, nine of the could be at risk smh. But then again professionals know exactly what to look for.

[birdie0907]

What is smh? Trying hard won't be enough, you have to stop totally so the frights that you get every time you read something upsetting are gone. If you can't quit on your own I recommend therapy, because a controlled peek here and there will eventually end up like a controlled drink here and a drink there does to an alcoholic in a recovery program - The recovery turns into another drinking binge.
What does hearing occasion mean?   -   imo, if the hearing thing keeps occurring then mention it to doc, but for now I would drop worrying about it too - if you can. Again, if you can't stop worrying on your own try a therapist because that is the shortcut to resolving your issues if you can afford it.

[Alexk1989]

Oh by hearing occasion I just mean when I though I heard my gf called me to open the door for her from the other room.

This was after I might where I got barely any sleep and recently started paying attention to everything I hear and see because I read about hallucinations.

What happened was I came home and as I was sitting at the computer watching something I realized the time was around when my dad was supposed to come home so I was expecting him. Them out of nowhere I heard someone open the door, I gave it a couple seconds to see if someone walked in but nobody did. I was really tuned into the comp and in the back of my head expecting my dad when I heard it. I was expecting thinking a lot about him coming in because I wanted to get out of there before he got in the house. I can't discredit the fact that I may have heard the neighbors door or that I may have misinterpreted a sound. And the unknown is really bugging me.

The other instance was later that night at my gf house. My gf came back inside the house from walking the dog as I layed in her room...she then went to bathroom and while in there was watching videos on her iPod haha fairly loud...her dad was in the next room watching something on the tv or phone that was also kind of loud. Her aunt was in the other room and getting ready to leave as she was walking out in a haste she let everyone know where she was going...I was still in the room really tuned in to ready stuff on my phone (symptoms n stuff) then In my mind I hear someone say Alex open the door.

I thought it was my gf cuz she did go
Outside but then I immidiately remembered that oh she had come back inside so it can't be here...I'm thinking this as I was walking to the bathroom to ask her. She ofcourse denied saying anything. Then I heard the same sounding voice that said open the door coming from the tv. So now I'm wondering did I catch some background noise and my brain registered to something May have wanted to hear (because my gf recently was outside). Then again maybe her aunt yelled back something about door as she walked out. I'm not adopting any belief so I'm not delusional about anything. Could have heard something, misheard, hallucinated iono. But the unknown killing me.

It has also happened where I similarly am zoned out and someone is calling my name and it feels like it's in my head because my mind is somewhere else. But then when I look around and divert my attention to the source I clearly hear it as outside my head. Majority of the time I find the source.

So this is what's been bothering me, this is the info I missed to tell the docs. And now I'm worried what if this changes their diagnoses. These things if occurred at any other time in my life before I read up on all this stuff would just be brushed off.

I have never heard a voice in isolated quiet place, I don't have any false beliefs or delusions, never seen anything that was not there ( aside from illusions where I mistook things)

There's no mental illness in my family.

This onsession and worry had happened several times in my life but it's always been about things you can get tested for like HIV or a tumor. Once I got tested I forgot about it and all symptoms went alway. But there's no test for skitzo. Therefore the possibility and unknown is bothering me.

[birdie0907]

"unknown is bothering me."
You have 3 options:
1.Self cure - not easy for some people but many have done it, including myself.
2.See docs again - No one from here can advise you if your fear of voices is really a problem. Since it isn't happening now it is an obsessive  non-event to be seeing doc now to find out if something months ago has meaning today, (imo.)
It is your decision to make whether to see doc again so no purpose in you bringing it up here again as far as I can see, although I don't run this board so you are welcome to post whatever you want.
3.See therapist.to help you look for solutions to prevent you from obsessing.

There is nothing else we can say. Good luck and write back in a week or so after you do either 1  or 3.

[birdie0907]

I should add to 1. and say not everyone can rid themselves of anxiety.

[nursegirl6572]

It seems that you're VERY much overly focused on this, to the point of being obsessive.  I agree that searching the internet is the LAST thing you want to do.  That's only fueling your anxiety.

It doesn't sound like you're having hallucinations at all, IMO.  It sounds more like you're hyper-aware of everything around you, and also you "heard" things you were expecting to hear (just like the person in the chair).

There is another phenomenon that could explain away the experiences you had hearing and seeing things.   Pareidolia is a phenomenon where the human brain takes a random stimulus (can be visual, auditory) and makes it into something purposeful/significant.  

Pareidolia explains away, for example a LOT of the pictures that we've all seen that claim to show a ghost.  The human eye will always try to make something familiar out of visual stimuli.  This is also why if you look at a fire or flames (or clouds, trees), you'll see faces, animals, etc.  

That could also very well explain what happened to you...for ONE, you had certain past experiences and expectations in BOTH of the examples you gave.  First, you had the expectation of seeing a person in the chair because you've seen it so much, and secondly, hearing your GF, you were expecting her to be returning any minute, and your brain likely turned a random, totally unrelated auditory stimuli into what you heard and thought was your GF.  

Hallucinations occur very differently, they are typically repetitive (including the content), and often occur frequently.  You're describing a few random, isolated, unrelated incidents.  I have no doubt that your heightened state of anxiety would have fed into those experiences also.  When you're suffering with a lot of chronic and severe anxiety, your senses become very sensitive.

I REALLY would encourage you to seek out some therapy.  A therapist will be able to help you learn how to dismiss those intrusive "what if" thoughts that keep the anxious cycle of thinking going.  I really think you would greatly benefit from therapy.  

Please let us know how you're doing, good luck!

[nursegirl6572]

I forgot to include a link to a site that gives some great info and examples of pareidolia:

(btw, as you can see there are a few different ways to spell Pareidolia)

http://www.pareidolias.net/Pareidolia-pictures.html

[Alexk1989]

Thank
You so much everybody...and nurse girl thank you for introducing that phenom. I thought that it could be just that myself and so many people explained it as that also but I never thought that it is an actual thing. I still will look to talk to a therapist and def seek some CBT but these responses are reassuring and I feel calm finally. I also read in various places that sleep deprivation, stress, and fatigue actually cause ur brain to misfire. In these moments exactly perfectly healthy people can experience hallucinations. Thanks a bunch. Any further input is always welcome.

[Alexk1989]

Smh got fairly calm about the worry yesterday and today it's a new thing.

This is three days in a row where my mind jumps from something that's in the back of my head and obsesses about it front and center smh.

Today it's.

Ever since I developed a fear of skitz...I stopped watching shows that I used to love like law and order and true crime shows. Those shows often feature people that have a mental illness such as skitz. A lot of them also look a certain way, so now when I see people that resemble that overall look I kind of get like uneasy. I do not get scared or anything or think anyone is gonna harm me. I just get this creeped out feeling. Now I'm wondering oh ***** what if this develops into an actual fear of people or something.

[birdie0907]

I think it is a good idea to stop watching any shows that give you this fright,  at least until you find some way to resolve all this self obsession with doom. There are other entertainment options to explore.
I think you should see a therapist. You just seem to go out of one dreary thing and straight into another and the only solution I know of is attitude changing therapy advice, so I won't be able to respond to any more of your posts.

I can't diagnose you but a solution could be as simple as someone giving you a few tips on how to think about things that are fun instead of searching for something that will ruin your life. Don't take that or anything I said personally - it is just my summary of your posts expressing how your mind works and I leave it to anyone else to respond differently. All this negative self obsessing can't make room for much enjoyment.

[Alexk1989]

Thanks berdie...the therapist I spoke to put it this way...that over these months of worry I developed a negative filter that I see everything through and that  I need some CBT to change the way I view things. Imma go back to him soon and talk with him...tell him about the voice  concern if I can even call it that and hopefully he sticks with his initial diagnoses of anxiety with panic attacks.

[Alexk1989]

Made an apt to see the psych doc tom. Thank you everyone.

[Alexk1989]

So I spoke to the doctor (psychologist/anxiety specialist) according to him everything is explained by anxiety and being overly sensative to everything around myself. He did say one thing that upset me n seemed kind of off, I asked him so based on everything I've told you past two visits do u think it's possible that this could be skitzo or early signs of ot. He said I'm not gonna engage in that because that's not you asking that question that's anxiety and nothing I say is gonna satisfy you so I'm gonna just tell you when u get that urge to wanna know then u have to fight It and brush it off. Now I'm thinking I asked u a similar question after last visit and u were able to tell me then no it's not skitzo...y now that I added this stuff you don't wanna tell me the same thing. Also like wouldn't it be better to just say no it's not skitzo signs if u really believe that it's not what harm could be in it to say no it's not that. Sigh.