Aa
Strip Clubs Risk
I posted here last month and I got an answer from alderick84. I am not able to completely put my worries to rest. I would really appreciate if anyone can answer here.
All I mentioned in my earlier post is still true. I never went to a strip club to have sex. All I was interested in was getting lap dances with my clothes on and maybe if the dancer let me touch, touch her boobs, suck them occasionally and tried to stay away from open mouth kissing and would be conscious when some girl tried to kiss by keeping my lips closed. Occasionally touched vagina area but not inserted for fear obviously. I always had a heightened sense of fear of HIV so I tried to keep my activities to getting lap dances. I would always be seated on chair/couch with relaxing my back on the back rest but never in a laying down position. As I said always had underwear plus pants or shorts on during my dances.
I never drank alcohol in my life and there is not a chance that I did something that I did not recollect about.
Reading through the literature, it seems to indicate that I should not worry about these activities but my mind keeps going back to the volume of my visits and makes me question if there was any possibility because maybe I spent long time with one dancer or maybe the place was not upscale or maybe I went to the club even when tired or sick from something else and left myself vulnerable even with the activities that I indulged in.
I had periods of time when I would not go but I would use some issue bothering as an excuse to go back or use my fear as a reassurance to check for myself and when I figured there was no concern, I would fall in that rut. It took me a lot of struggle to go over this addiction but at the expense of my sanity. It has left me a mentally frail person not able to cope up with life.
I figured I would turn a corner but things keep happening in my life that do not let me get this out of my mind. I know getting tested will solve my worries and put this to rest but I have myself too deep a hole that I am dreadful that my world or whatever is left of it will come shattering down.
Is it really that simple that I did not put myself at risk for HIV by my mentioned behaviour of going to strip clubs and getting lap dances with my clothes on? Does it not matter if I think the dancer had it or not, whether she was naked or not , whether the place was shady or not, whether I spent too much time with a girl or not, whether I was sick or tired with cold, stress or not, whether I ejaculated or not, if I could even enter vagina with my clothes on, if the girl suck on my penis but through my clothes.
I am not trying to annoy anyone by asking this but please realize that I am mentally weak right now and cannot talk about this to anyone else. I would really appreciate a response.
For what it's worth, I don't go to strip clubs anymore and have not done so for 4 years.
All I mentioned in my earlier post is still true. I never went to a strip club to have sex. All I was interested in was getting lap dances with my clothes on and maybe if the dancer let me touch, touch her boobs, suck them occasionally and tried to stay away from open mouth kissing and would be conscious when some girl tried to kiss by keeping my lips closed. Occasionally touched vagina area but not inserted for fear obviously. I always had a heightened sense of fear of HIV so I tried to keep my activities to getting lap dances. I would always be seated on chair/couch with relaxing my back on the back rest but never in a laying down position. As I said always had underwear plus pants or shorts on during my dances.
I never drank alcohol in my life and there is not a chance that I did something that I did not recollect about.
Reading through the literature, it seems to indicate that I should not worry about these activities but my mind keeps going back to the volume of my visits and makes me question if there was any possibility because maybe I spent long time with one dancer or maybe the place was not upscale or maybe I went to the club even when tired or sick from something else and left myself vulnerable even with the activities that I indulged in.
I had periods of time when I would not go but I would use some issue bothering as an excuse to go back or use my fear as a reassurance to check for myself and when I figured there was no concern, I would fall in that rut. It took me a lot of struggle to go over this addiction but at the expense of my sanity. It has left me a mentally frail person not able to cope up with life.
I figured I would turn a corner but things keep happening in my life that do not let me get this out of my mind. I know getting tested will solve my worries and put this to rest but I have myself too deep a hole that I am dreadful that my world or whatever is left of it will come shattering down.
Is it really that simple that I did not put myself at risk for HIV by my mentioned behaviour of going to strip clubs and getting lap dances with my clothes on? Does it not matter if I think the dancer had it or not, whether she was naked or not , whether the place was shady or not, whether I spent too much time with a girl or not, whether I was sick or tired with cold, stress or not, whether I ejaculated or not, if I could even enter vagina with my clothes on, if the girl suck on my penis but through my clothes.
I am not trying to annoy anyone by asking this but please realize that I am mentally weak right now and cannot talk about this to anyone else. I would really appreciate a response.
For what it's worth, I don't go to strip clubs anymore and have not done so for 4 years.
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