The chaos never ends!

[Nitsuj242]

So have been in and out of the Dr. alot these last few years. Anxiety, Hiatal Hernia, Diverticulosis. It is now at a point where it is too hard to tell what is what. Almost at a point where i'm too tired and overwhelmed to even care anymore. Still concerned and do care at the same time. So bloodwork has come back normal but still the pain in the liver area. My saliva smells really weird and i'm still getting the oddly colored bm's. It's really embarrassing but it's too alarming to keep it to myself and i've heard that these are probably not good symptoms. So scheduled an MRI. Getting a second opinion. Wanting to get surgery to get the hiatal hernia fixed too. Doc has said it will make it worse. Found a new doc who is well known and is all over the internet who specializes in Hiatal Hernia's. Is this a wise move? Also, can anxiety, Zoloft and or the hiatal hernia and diverticulosis cause a person to get oddly colored bm's? Just really freaking out...heard it is a sign that something is probably wrong with your pancreas or liver. Doc says it's just a matter of what you eat. But every time you go? Can't believe i'm ok even with bloodwork being normal. Too many symptoms to be able to accept that I'm ok. Can anxiety make your gut instinct of well being go away? It's like before I could be able to say "Oh, it's just this or that" and deep down know that I was ok. Now it's like oh god, this is probably some horrible deadly thing causing this pain. Just feel like my life is probably going to be short lived. A very bad gut instinct. Just can't place it. This has also been going on for 2/3 years. People have been saying " you've thought you've been dying for 2 years now". Still amazed to wake up everyday although I don't seem to even appreciate it at the same time having to wake up with more pain and worry everyday...rediculous being i'm only 27. Is it also normal to feel brain dead or soulless/empty with anxiety? Nothing matters even if I do love it. Feels that way big time. It's been so bad I've gotten this alter ego.It's too weird. I'm scared sh*tless of dying yet I can't handle this pain and fear anymore to the point of where I've even gotten suicidal thoughts of hanging myself in my apartment. It's just the persistence of these issues. Waking up into hell everyday. Seems this all began after my doc had put me on multiple meds from Risperdal to buspar to zyprexa...all kinds of stuff. Did he permanently f*ck me up? Is this a chemical imbalance issue? Please help. I've been praying and praying. Going to doctors and trying to fight tooth and nail to get better. Nothing is working out.

[Samantha_Dragon]

I don't know anything about Zoloft or  Hiatal Hernia but Anxiety can do some weird stuff to you physically. Like give you intense stomach pains or make you feel like your dying or someone's out to get you, a sense of impending doom is something that is actually very common in people that suffer from anxiety. I'm not saying that things aren't as bad as you think they are but anxiety tends to make people think the worst. If its getting to the point where you are having suicidal thoughts I would go see a therapist or a psychologist. It might be that some of your symptoms are anxiety based and that's why your doctors can't diagnose you.
Good luck. I hope you get better, or at least feel better.

[remar]

Hi, it's Remar. I have'nt seen you here in awhile. I'm glad to hear you will be getting a second opinion. I really think it's a good idea when ever possible. You've moved into your own apartment? Send me a message if you get time so we can catch up. Hang in there Sweety.