Why does this happen?

[soparanoid7128]

Hi all, I am new here and I have a few questions...I am 25 years old and have been dealing with anxiety/hypochondriasis since I was 12. It usually comes in waves, if I am under a lot of stress I tend to feel things more. I had an attack a couple of days ago. I am on paxil so I don't completely wig out, but the muscle tension just kills me...I have tried everything to get rid of the fatigue and nothing is helping...it comes and goes. I wake up in the morning and am fine...but once I start obsessing about what is bothering me the feelings come back. I am so sick of relying on medications to pull me through my life and am starting to get depressed about everything. But this is the cycle! My latest addiction is obsessing over the fact that I have rabies...and it's so stupid. A mouse jumped on me a week ago, I had some scratches on my hand but I don't think it was from the mouse, I think it startled me and I in turn whacked something that cut my hand up. I have searched everywhere and the CDC doesn't consider rodents to be suspicious unless they are acting weird...this one was not I was the one who disturbed it, but never the less I still sit obsessing about it to the point that I start "feeling" symptoms. What is my best option here? Does anyone have any advice on how to let go?

[Jaynie69]

Hi,

I just joined up yesterday.  I've had anxiety and depression since my teenage years and feel similar to you about constantly being on some sort of medication.  My hubby told me if I had high blood-pressure or diabetes I'd have to take medication daily - so whats the difference with anxiety.  I get depressed about my depression, it's ridiculous!!  And like you say it turns into a vicious cycle.  By the way I've had quite a few pet mice and never caught anything from them.  But the next time you see the Doc. or counsellor, tell them exactly what you think and feel to put your mind at rest.
Ive gone  to the doctor and told her I'm fine or coping because you dont want to seem like a completely inadequate, disfunctioning person - but inside am having an internal meltdown.  Most of my friends and fam dont even know I'm on meds, because I don't want to be judged or generalised in any way!!  But after many years I think honesty, particularly with yourself is the best policy!!  I have to realise I have an imbalance chemically and probably always will, so life has to go on,and does, not matter how crippled emotionally you feel at times.  Its taken me a long time to let go of alot of things
and I nearly 40.  Be patient with yourself and tell yourself everyday, your just as worthy to be here as everybody else and tackle one thing or one day at a time.  Cheers and love.

[crackedglass]

Well said, Jaynie. I'm 57 and those are my feelings exactly. I know I've been posting up a storm complaining about my general anxiety feelings recently...turns out one of my dogs is very sick with a difficult to diagnose disease that is killing him slowly. He's dying but vets still don't know exactly what from...stuff like that always sends me over the edge, make me feel guilty and anxious as hell, even though it's not something anyone can help. It's just that since winter I've been obsessed with the feeling that he was feeling sickly and because the symptoms are so difficult for vets to measure, I was really suffering more than the dog, but acting brave for him when I was within ear shot of him. I think if I act calm he'll be calm but will react if I'm all tensed up. Anyway, now that he is clearly dying of an undetectable illness, I feel totally calm and peaceful. Will take care of him until his quality of life suffers, then gently let him go...