Ok, first i want to asure you, like your doctors do, which is why they prescribed you anxiety medicine. YOU DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING SEROUSLY WRONG WITH YOU! It is sooo common for people to have anxiety that leads them to the phobias you're having. So, it is either your anxiety or your meds that are causeing you to have this temporary eating problem~ Then you fear stomach bug or vomitting or diarea. Your stomache growels cuz it needs food. It's not cancer or anything organic!!!!!!! it's just anxiety!!!!!!!
I have had the same kind of responses to my anxiety, and have gotten better from them, and then will have an other symptom or concern. But I have gotten fully better in the past, even though I am going through certain difficulties of my own right now too, and I know its anxiety!
So, a friend wants me to go to the store right now but I wanted to respond to you.
Did you check that post with a series of responses, in the anxiety forum by nellynell, called, "everyone check this out". Please read it~ you will understand that your concerns are just anxiety.. and I am always glad to talk. I will try to go back to that posting so that it will be very recent on the anxiety forum.. please look at it. Hope to hear from you!
Also, try getting into eating whole foods. Go to the health food store and eat some good food.
I hope you're feeling better!
Hiya K! Sorry you're still having a rough time. Main question *(and I'm sorry I don't remember, I know we've discussed this before)...but are you in therapy? If not...then you need to get yourself to a therapist asap.
Anxiety is so all-consuming sometimes, but when it starts to affect your life in these types of ways...it's time to get aggressive with your treatment. The irony here, is you FEAR a serious illness soo badly, which of course, you DON'T have, yet you are engaging in behaviors *(your poor eating habits, sleep) that CAN lead to various illnesses.
You KNOW your eating habits aren't healthy...and your fears about vomiting and diarrhea are just adding to your poor diet. I've told you before I'm sure that I'm a major poop-a-phobe. I simply HATE when things aren't quite right and I "what if" myself sick..."what if I have diarrhea and it hits while I'm in the car, far from a bathroom"...and so on and so forth.....it becomes an obssession. So, I know what that's like....but therapy has helped me to overcome the severe worry about something that is life.
Now, I understand with anxiety/panic disorders that we each tend to hone in on our own fear (yours being vomiting)...but what you need to do (and a lot of this you can discuss in therapy....(and one of the main reasons therapy is so helpful) is ask yourself..."WHY do I fear that so much?" Do you fear vomiting b/c you may do it in front of someone and feel embarrassed? Do you fear it b/c you'll feel as though there really may be something serious wrong and your anxiety will skyrocket?
Let's face it...NO ONE likes throwing up...it's icky. But, unfortunately, it's part of life. A stomach bug WILL plague you from time to time....but look at it rationally.....you altering your eating habits SO severely is only making you MORE prone to stomach upset, b/c, like you said...you are re-training your system, and when you DO decide to eat more than a bagel, your stomach MAY sincerely not agree with you. You are defeating yourself here.
Again...you need to get into therapy right away...and if you ARE in therapy, step it up. In the meantime...you need to PUT YOUR MIND to nipping this diet thing in the bud. You are GOING to be anxious, sure....but as I said...you are only guarunteeing that your fears come true...kinda self-defeating, huh? Get yourself back to a normal diet...3 meals a day with snacks in between. You don't have to eat like a glutton, but what you're eating isn't enough to sustain you...you could end up with some serious issues, which of course, you don't want. If you want a piece of pizza, eat it. The pizza itself is not going to make you ill. Just like the tummy bugs out there..think back on your life...you *(like most everyone) can count on ONE hand how many times they have been sick with a stomach flu...it's actually a rare occurrence. Even if you would get one once a year...it's not that big of a deal, you find some good movies, eat some jello and drink some flat pop...stay near the bathroom...and take it easy till you feel better. The act of vomiting will not harm you, and really, besides being unpleasant, isn't the end of the world. THERAPY is where you need to be to help desensitize your brain from obssessing about it. But, YOU can start improving things by starting NOW to change your eating habits back to normal...b/c like I said...you are only changing the outcome of what you fear from being just a fear to becoming reality.
Hang in there.
See, that just freaked me out even more. Im afraid to eat bigger foods in fear of my body rejecting it, like you said.
From not eating enough is that why I feel like **** all the time?
Sweetie, only YOU can make the necessary changes...you KNOW that the way you are eating is NOT healthy for you, and plus...why make your fears become reality?
Electrolyte imbalances can causee real problems.....and one develops those from poor diet, for one. You could end up with reproductive issues, the list is endless..those are just two examples.
"From not eating enough is that why I feel like **** all the time? "
Of course! You are barely eating enough to sustain a small child, let alone a grown woman.
My goal is of course NOT to scare you...but also, I feel that this is serious enough that maybe scaring some sense into you would be worth it. I'm just giving you facts here, darlin. You are working sooo hard to make sure you don't vomit, etc...well, if you continue down this path, you WILL become very ill, and vomiting will most likely be one of the symptoms. YOUR BODY NEEDS NUTRIENTS, PERIOD!
You never answered my question about therapy.....are you in it? If not...when are you going to start?
You just started all of this diet madness, you can undo it very easily at this point...if you wait, you may NOT be able to undo the damage.
Start increasing your intake slowly...but a little more every day. And if you are not...GET YOURSELF INTO THERAPY!!!! You need help!
I would agree with nursegirl here. Therapy is the most important step you can take in dealing with this. Anxiety is scary and confusing and that cycle of worrying and panic can take its toll on us both mentally and physically. However, there is so much help out there that can make this task of confronting it and dealing with it much easier. I know it is extremely difficult right now; I have been right where you are right now. For me, talking it over with a therapist did wonders to help me get through this...keep us informed and keep working through this!