just need some reassurance

[eiansgirl]

i have anxiety, it sucks. this morning i woke up from having a dream in which i died. so of course i'm all scared. i wake up every morning really dizzy, assuming it's my anxiety. i've been checked out for any physical issues about 4 times now, so i know i'm fine. i'm also experiencing a loss of night vision, and what i assume is nearsightedness (i can't focus on things too close?), so it's adding to everything. my mom went through all the same things at my age, but the doctors just told her to deal with and she did. so why can't i? i can't seem to get over it.

[eiansgirl]

thank you for your support, i just got your response, and i will definitely try your suggestion about breathing and not taking inventory of how i feel, which i am guilty of doing incessantly. well, i just found out i had another reason not to take paxil- i was diagnosed as bipolar, which is very dangerous when mixed with antidepressants.  geuss my gut reaction was right, lol.

[RubyWitch]

Well, since you're not a "jump out of bed" type, lets think of something else. Your doc says hyperventilating. I'm somewhat of an "expert" on hyperventilating since I do it to myself all the time. Can you do it while your sleeping? An excellent question and one I don't have an answer to. Do you feel this dizziness immediately upon awakening? Or does it take a few minutes to hit you? IF that is the case, then maybe the hyperventilating theory has some validity. The lousy thing about hyperventing is that we are not aware we are doing it! While you are lolling about in bed, it's POSSIBLE that you begin to think anxious thoughts and then begin to hyperventilate, which then leads to the feelings of dizziness. Ya know what I'd try tomorrow morning? When I woke up, I would try very, very hard to not start taking inventory on how I felt. I would do some nice stretching to get the kinks out and then I would lay there and do a few minutes of really nice, slow, deep breathing. See if that at least helps the dizziness, which would give you a clue that maybe it's your mind doing this to you. If you do feel some relief from the breathing, try it for longer periods every morning until you find the dizziness has stopped completely.
I'm sorry to hear that Paxil has already caused so much pain in your life. Did you tell the doctor who prescribed this for you about your gramma and b/fs dad? They should have picked up on your anxiety concerning that particular med and possibly discussed a short term course of an anti-anxiety med until your therapy appointment. Now that you've explained your history, I don't blame you for tossing it out!
I applaude your desire to try and deal with this in as natural a way as possible. Unfortunately, most insurance companies won't pay for alternative medical care, and I hear you about not being able to afford most of it anyway. It's like being between the rock and the hard spot.
I wish I had some real answers for you. I guess about all I can say is try not to worry, which I know is incredibly trite, and just hang on as best you can until you get into the therapy. Keep posting us cuz you know we'll always be here and we'll do our best to help you get thru this.
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Greenlydia

[eiansgirl]

well no, i don't usually just jump out of bed. i usually roll around for awhile. i also get alot of sleep, so that's not the problem. my doctor told me it was hyperventilation, however, i'm not hyperventilating in my sleep. as for the paxil, my boyfriends dad and my grandma both attempted suicide on paxil, so i'm averse to it. i want to treat this naturally, but i have no money and i cant afford a private specialist, or to be going all the time.

[RubyWitch]

So..........you're only twenty, (why you say "unfortunately" is way beyond me!) but I think you should still have your eyes checked out. Trouble with night vision and nearsightedness are not unheard of in your age group at all. Your mom went thru all this when SHE was twenty? Do I have that correct? And what did they tell her? Your eye problems could then be inherited, just as my glaucoma is inherited from my Mum.
You are seeing a therapist. Good for you. I will assume they are the one who got you on the Paxil? Why you threw it out after only three days is something of a mystery to me. I can readily understand your fear of becoming "addicted," although I think the terms "dependant" or "tolerant" are more apt. but let's not get off on the semantics. If you tell your therapist about your fears, they will monitor you very carefully and pull you off the meds when the time is right. A short course of these types of meds can be extremely helpful when coupled with therapy. If you trust this therapist, trust their decision to put you on the Paxil. I don't want to come across like a drug pusher, but I think you owe it to yourself to at least give the Paxil a chance. It can take up to four weeks for the effects of Paxil to be felt. If, in a month, when you see your therapist, you feel the Paxil is not helping, then they will stop it.
Your dizziness is something I would speak to your doctor about, which I think I already advised. A question about this dizziness. Do you feel it when you are lying down in bed or when you stand up? Since you are only 20, I doubt you have high or low blood pressure as this would have been discovered at any one of the four visits to your doctor, but many people who hop out of bed too quickly can feel a momentary dizziness. Does this sound like you? Are you one of those jump right out of bed frisky people? Just a thought.
Good luck and keep us posted!
Greenlydia  

[eiansgirl]

well, hahah i'm only 20 unfortunately, however my mom (37) went through all the same stuff at the same time in her life. i am not on any medication, i was prescribed peroxetine (paxil, 10mg), but threw it after 3 days because i fear addiction of any kind, particularly to a psych med. the dizziness tends to fade after i wake up a little, but it's still rather bothersome. i'm waiting to see the therapist, i'm on a discount program so it's about a month away. thanks for the boost though! :)

[RubyWitch]

You have anxiety. It does, indeed, suck. What, if anything, are you taking for it? Are you in therapy? How old are you?
We ALL have dreams in which we die, or nearly escape death! They are JUST dreams and are a nasty way for our subconscious to deal with the anxiety we feel during the day.
You say you wake up every morning feeling dizzy. This one has me stumped. Perhaps it's the meds your on? Perhaps before you even get out of bed you should drink some OJ? My best advice would be to see your doc if this is happening EVERY morning. I'd only be guessing at any other possible cause and that's not going to do you any good. You tell us that you've been to see the doc four times and that everything is OK. Why don't you believe them? Are you telling them about ALL your symptoms and the anxiety they create for you? Perhaps a few sessions of therapy would be very beneficial for you!
Loss of night vision and nearsightedness are both symptoms of growing older, which is why I asked your age. If you're around 40, that is a very normal time of life when both these conditions can afflict us! I recommend you go get your eyes checked. I think THAT particular anxiety will disappear with a cool pair of glasses!
What the doctors told your mother all those years ago was the standard for the time. There probably weren't as many options for her then as there are for you now! I will assume she is from the generation that had doctors up on pedestals and their "words of wisdom" were NOT to be questioned. Thank god we're out of that silly era! Because your mother had virtually no choice but to "deal with it" does not mean YOU are weak! Get over that thinking real soon! We have more choices, more options, and are far more proactive than our parents ever dared to be! Doctors no longer live on the pedestals and if they are any good at their profession, have learned to listen to their patients.
So, put all these worries of yours in a paper sack and take it to your doctor. I don't think you'll find any ants at your picnic! Good luck. Keep us posted!
Greenlydia