male anxiety depression bipolar ptsd??

[meandmydog]

Hey Doc,

My boyfriend (white male 45 years old) has these mood swings that are becoming worse. He has had a couple of deployments to Afghanistan, and his job is pretty stressful. But we have only been dating for a year and a half so I don't know how long this has been going on. When he is down, he will drink (often to excess) then come back and try and belittle me or start verbal altercations. He seems to feel inadequate, and much of his tone is very passive aggressive. When he is up, he has very strange ideas for businesses etc. In January I finally got him to go see his primary medical doctor and he prescribed Lexpro (sp?). My boyfriend said it has helped to clear up some of his thinking. And yes it has tapered some of those "highs", but the lows seem to continue getting lower. I know he says he has feelings of anxiety and that his life feels out of control sometimes.  I've asked him to stop drinking, but I'll be honest that isn't about to happen anytime soon. He seems open to getting different drugs to help him out, but I'm having a hard time getting him to see a psychiatrist who might be able to give him the right kinds of meds.  

I had a boss many many years ago when I was working a summer job, that would just snap. When I went back for my last summer at the place, he was completely changed. The secretary told me that he was on meds (prozac???), and that apparently years of stress had created a chemical imbalance and that was common in males in demanding jobs. Maybe this is the case for my boyfriend?

When he is lucid and we are communicating well, I can sometimes get through to him. I'm in no danger, so don't worry about that. I just want him to get better. He will talk to his primary care physician, so are there any other hints or sources of information you can help me get to the bottom line on this? I think if I can get him on the right stuff, he might come around to get additional counseling that would really help him along.

[worried826]

Well be sure to tell him that there are new rules in place that will require that anybody sent overseas in support of the wars can seek counseling and psychiatric attention and that can not be used against them when it comes to their security clearance so he does not have to worry about his clearance if he seeks treatment. Like i said they are finally coming to grips with the problems peple are having and the government is trying to have it properly treated.

Thats too bad nobody cared about your health, they should have. Yeah the military healthcare, specifically mental health is lacking but is coming around now.

[meandmydog]

Hey Worried826,

Thanks for the advice, but he is not military. I am in the reserves, but he just is a regular government employee. And yes the stigma still holds true even for GSs. His department required him to visit the psychologist upon his last return. This was purely an administrative in-processing requirement. Of course nothing can get diagnosed with those courteousy checks. And yes he is worried about going to a psychologist for security reasons, although I keep telling him there are many ways he can caveat his visit to fall within those areas which are “acceptable”.  

I think if I can get a lead on what might be ailing him I can present him with the data and the treatment alternatives, and from there he would be more willing to see a proper psychiatrist / psychologist. Well, at least I can only hope.

Thanks you again for your advice. Unfortunately after two deployments to Iraq, no one really seemed to care about my physical or mental health. They didn’t have time for me… so hopefully somebody is getting better support from the military. To say I’m not impressed with military health care would be an understatement. I’m glad I could keep my civilian health benefits while I was deployed. I felt like I at least had access to “real” medical support should the need arise.  Thank goodness I didn’t. But I digress.. (laugh!) back to my darling (crazy) boyfriend....

Cheers,
meandmydog

[worried826]

I am going to assume by his age that he is a senior ranking member and as such he probably has a lot of responsibility on his plate so it is obvious his job does place stress on him. The military has many current channels to use for counseling since PTSD is becoming so common. Even if he doesnt have PTSD and just has anxiety its best to get treated.

He first needs to lay off of the alcohol for starters, drinking will only make matters worse. Then you both need to talk about this problem and what he wants to do about it. All you can do is try to help him, the decision to seek treatment is going to be soley in his hands.

Many service members do not like to go to therapy due to the stigma that they might get from their unit. They think they will be thought of as weak minded by the people they work with and for a senior member that is not a poisition would want to be in in front of your guys. This is a misconception though and the military now supports counseling for soldiers from the stresses related to the job and overseas duties. The military is really taking the extra step in this area mainly to prevent the soldiers from coming home and getting too into drinking their stresses away and from acting out the stress in violent behaviors, both of which have been issues in recent years with the wars going on.

He apparantly recognizes he has a problem, now he needs to learn how to deal with and treat it. I wish you and him the best of luck from one service member to another.