Scared to death.

[JamesJJJOnes]

Please help me im scared to death that i got hiv. Iv been on the hiv forum and they directed me here. My dr says no hiv iv been tested at 3mos after vag sex and 6weeks after oral and both were neg. But im so scared my groin is killing me right now. I go to a pscycologest once a week and i still cant stop the fear. i look at my son and think what did i do to my family. I was living without sex for a long time and went and got oral a few times than slept with a friend from work big mistakes all of them the last oral was on dec 24 and im sooooo scared i got hiv i dont want to die i want to make a  good father and husband i dont want to die. I keep thinking i have hiv i cant stop it at all. It stops me from sleeping a lot i rush out of work cauz of my anxiety i take xzanax to relax and it works but im still scared. I just want it to stop. I dont want to hurt my family with some disease . i feel like a freak. please help me. Im afraid to even touch them.

[dhylles]

i know the feeling that you have. it is like a record playing in your head every single day that you cannot stop nor know how to control and it is freaking you out so bad you don't know what to do. i go through it ever single day myself and it is a constant battle to tell myself that i am fine and there is nothing wrong with me and God is good all the time. Guilt is a bad thing with us humans and so if forgivness. i am learning each day to forgive myself. and so should you..

[John23a]

if you have done a test and it came up as negative why do you worry? there is nothing more accurate than a test...and about ur groin it could be that you pulled the groin muscle and thats why its hurting..good luck and stop worrying..ur fine