nowhere to turn

[feeling_hopeless]

i suffer from panic disorder and have been hospitalized in the past for anxiety and depression.
my symptoms have continually worsened since i began menapause but i dont know if menapause can
make anxiety,panic and depression worse?  i feel like my life is out of control, i cant sleep,
i feel like crying most of the time, i have trouble concentrating, i have trouble holding my urine,
i am very selfconscience and feel like im always being judged. i have never had trouble with being
paranoid in the past but im finding that i dont like people much anymore and find it hard to
trust anyone. because i have missed so many days at work they took away my benifits.
and because of stating my oppinions of them rather strongly i lost my job. i know i need help and
i now i need counseling and medication. i have self medicated in the past with alcohol and i have
been sober for almost 10 years. i'm trying despirately to stay that way but finding it harder and
harder everyday.
im a mess and need help
but with no job or medical insurance what are my options?

[mammo]

Hi......I believe you are depressed, and while in menopause your hormones are all over the place causing more issues.  Urinary incontinence is common in women so talk to a Gynecologist to get this under control.  For the depression and anxiety......there are health clinics in every city that offer free healthcare and you certainly qualify for this.  Google "free health care" in you city and you'll find one.  I think you're so over-whelmed with everything and that's not helping.  Kudos to you for being sober for 10 years that is just awesome!!!!  You know that isn't the route to go, but there are medications that will give you back the happy and fulfilling life you deserve and want.  Take it one step at a time.  Find a free clinic right away, and see if you qualify for unemployment or state assistance to help you financially.  The first thing you need to do is get yourself in a better place emotionally, and I feel medication will help you in so many ways! Forget about that job collecting for charity, a lot of people are barely surviving in this lousy economy so giving to charity I'm sure is now a luxury many can't afford and sales is high pressure work...which you don't need.  You can get beyond all of this with a little help which we all need at some point and that's okay.  You're obviously a strong person to be sober for ten years, it's time to get help so you can feel better.  Please don't go back to the alcohol, you've come too far.  Depression robs us of our happiness, our desire to do things we once enjoyed, makes us sad and just plain lonely.  You can't help how you are feeling, and that's why you need to get help.  Find that help in your city and go from there.  We're always here for you and truly understand. Sharing with us was a big step in the right direction and I hope knowing you are not alone helps. You're stronger than you know and can do this.  

[helplogan]

You have a lot that you are trying to deal with and finding a place to start can seem impossible but where to start first.
Depression, now that will effect you mentally, emotionally and it can even have psychical symptoms aswell. As you have just described how it is obviously effecting your life.
Obviously I'm based in the UK, so I am probably not going to be able to help with dealing with insurance but I did want to say if you start with the depression a lot of other stresses can and do stem from there.
People will often try to self medicate with alcohol, which is something you areworking hard on avoiding.
You sound like you need to initially start by talking, whether it be with a doctor, friend or even here if it helps.
Hope somebody comes in with more useful advice about getting help with accessing a doctor or other services soon.
Take care