Help?

[Whitney217]

Hi I am a 26 year old female and recently I have been experiencing what i believe to be anxiety attacks, I have a boyfriend that i commute to visit on the weekends, all day prior to boarding the train i take to see him i had these feelings and basically irrational thoughts that i could not be on this train. As soon as I took my seat on the train I felt what seemed like a huge adrenaline rush that would not stop, i called a friend and just told her to keep talking to me. I couldn't talk and at points when i became unfocused on the conversation I thought I was going to pass out. Even after getting off the train I felt strange and exhausted even though the severity of the anxiety had gone down. This was about three weeks ago. I had always had problems with traveling since I can remember, mostly the fear is that I will have to use the restroom while in a car, plane or train. Because I would be so nervous about it I would end up convincing myself I had a stomach ache, and to remedy this problem I stopped eating the day of travel and the fear seemed to subside. It's all linked to public embarrassment.
Ever since the episode on the train I fear it happening all the time, I freak out about driving, about working (i have a very social job as a hairstylist), about being around new people, and about people judging me. I am trying my best to get over it, I went on a week long vacation to Arizona which is about a four hour flight from where I live.  I was going to see a friend that I love very much and these trips out west always excite me, this time it was different. While boarding the plane I was so scared and miserable and I kept telling myself to laugh in the face of these crazy fears and I just couldn't. Every single day since we returned I can not feel normal. I tried to go out to  have a drink last night and it was terrifying, as soon as I got in my friends car there i was again in pain feeling so anxious..Do i continue to push myself like i have been to get over these things? I have no insurance and I cannot afford to pay for it. I am clueless as to what i can do for myself. I feel lost and scared and tired all the time and this is not me! I have always been a little shy but really laid back and easy going and confident. I am so lost as to what to do, i just want my life back and I want myself back.

[040404]

Hi there,
I am a 26 year old female and can relate to everything that you are saying!  When I read your post I thought that it was me.  I think that you have done a very brave thing by coming on here and looking for advice.  Ive only just sort advice for my anxiety/depression and finding that it is really helping.  I also have problems with bitting the skin off my fingers.  I'm currently on pristque and seeing a theripist.  My advice is to go see your doctor.  Its hard at first but your ready to sort these issues out .  I know exactly how you feel about seeking help, I thought about it for ages.  You are not alone and I have trust that these issues will be resolved :)

[RubyWitch]

I can't possibly add anything to what Pax has told you except to agree with him 100% that you are at the beginning of developing an anxiety disorder and you absolutely must do something about it now before it becomes a mind-set.
Since this anxiety has presented itself just recently, you are in an excellent position to figure out what the root cause of it is. Something caused you to become anxious and once you learn what that is/was, therapy will teach you how to deal with it and possibly rid yourself of it. But you can't ignore it.
And I can't agree with Paxiled more when he states that it's the avoidance that makes the diseasse progress, not the anxiety.
I understand that you don't have insurance, but you really must find a way to get the help you need. Often your local Health Dept. can get you on the right track to find someone.
Please let us know how you're doing, OK?
Get some help and I believe you'll be fine.
Peace
Greenlydia    

[Paxiled]

Get into therapy as quickly as possible, as your first step.  They say cognitive therapy is the best, but the truth is, none of them have a great overall success rate, so I think it's more the individual therapist that's most important and your attitude.  This is the classic beginning of an anxiety problem, so get to work on it.  The quicker you do so the less you'll continue doing what you're starting to do, which is imprint these irrational fears in your thinking patterns.  It's a bummer, but it is what it is.  You gotta be a member of some club in your life, so welcome to ours, but work your way out of it as soon as possible.  And remember, and I learned this way too late, it's the avoidance that makes the disease progress, not the anxiety.  Good luck.