What can help for a child going thru a divorce with Autism?

[luvpuggy]

My 8 year old son has Autism and ADHD his mother left 2 years ago and I have full custody of him and his 5 year old brother (he does not have autism)  he comes back very angry ,wets his bed,does not sleep at all at night,says profanity and is physically mean to his 5 year old brother and me.He wants me around him even more when he gets back and does not want to be alone but these are only behavioral issues when he returns from her home his behavior is normally tolorable in general but 100% worse after seeing his mom every other weekend.I was wondering what type of medication is there for the anger issues or what can I do that will help him when he returns I dread everytime he leaves and comes home what we are in for so please help!What is he feeling that makes this so bad at these times why is his behavior so worse is it something I should be concerned about and is it hurting him by going to see her for a weekend?

[peachy72]

my husband and i seperated last year, we have a 4 year old who has autism and a 2 year old that does not, in my case our 2 year old had the anger issues, really he was more agressive and our son with autism was really clingy, he actually became more loving and affectionate. Im Peachy 72, I am 35 years old and just dealing day to day with our issues, good luck to you.

[Sally44]

Any child would be struggling with the parents separation.  There are so many things about the situation that your son may find difficult to understand/cope with from an autistic perspective.  Then he has got all these emotions inside him that he may not fully understand or know how to deal with or what to do about it.  His behaviour does show that he is having trouble dealing with the situation.
I would try to reserve any medication as a last resort because it doesn't usually solve the problem but mask it.
Have you talked with your ex. about this.  Is there any way you can work together on this.  Has your son had the separation explained to him in terms that he may understand?  Has the 'weekend with mom' been explained to him in terms he understandings.
If it has been assumed that because he is autistic that he won't have the same 'feelings' then that would be wrong.  He will have as much attachment to his parents as any other child.
Have you tried talking with him about it before he goes away for the weekend (mornings are usually better from a communication point of view).  
He may even think he has contributed to the separation.
Are there any other professionals involved who could help you do this.
I don't really know much about ADHD, apart from the impulsiveness of it.  So he is going to have all this inner turmoil at the same time as impulsivity (lashing out), which is what you are experiencing.
It is very common for those on the spectrum to try to keep everything together for as long as they can and then it all comes out at home.  
He may be seeking your company more because he fears that you too may leave.  If you use social stories at all have you tried using them with this situation.
I hope others on this forum on the spectrum will give you an insight into this.