Wetting at School

[shackelford]

My son is going on 6 old. He has been potty trained since he was about 3 1/2 years old. Now all of the sudden he is going to the bathroom in his oants not just peeing but also pooping. I don't know why he is doing this all of the sudden. I just want to understand. He just started having accidents about 3 months ago. My family is just telling me that he is being lazy and don't want to go to the bathroom. Then why now though, If that was the reason he would of done it right after I potty trained him. I don't think that he wouldn't wait 2 years and now just start doing this. Please help!

[MJIthewriter]

These things may or may not work. I'm no parent, but you can try these and see.
Is your son verbal?  You could try asking him simple questions. I would not ask him anything about using the bathroom because likely that would get his back up. I'm sure he is just as embarrassed to talk about it as you would be if it was your problem. You wound't want to be confronted on the matter, so he probably wouldn't either.

Maybe talk about the things he's interested in. With me I would go outside on long trips to the field across the street (now non-existant thanks to urban sprawl*ICK*) and I would be outside so far away from the house and would not realize I needed to go until it's like OMG I gotta Pee right now!  I wouldn't wet myself no... But as long as I thought nobody was around, I'd find someplace to do my business.  I've seen normal people do that so that helps ease some of my tension sharing that bit of info... Also I'd be afraid to go back in the house sometimes because I come in to use the bathroom, and my parents would want me to stay in for the rest of the night and get involved in some other task (such as getting ready to eat or doing homework) that would interrupt what I was going to do (grab a jar and catch some ants in an anthill I just found).  As a parent you can see the importance of these other tasks. As a child though, those got to be secondary...

If I stayed out I could continue the task I wanted, but if I went in to use the bathroom, I would not be able to.  I'd be determined to continue whatever I was into. Nothing could shake me. If I was hungry, that would wait. If I was thirsty, that had to wait... If I had to use the restroom, that had to wait too...  You get the idea. The only thing that could shake me is if I got distracted and then my mind would focus on the next task.  I'm still like that in a way if I am set on something. You can set timers buzzing around me, but they just get ignored. I make sure to relieve myself in the proper place, but I often end up waiting until I have to practically run to get there. With hunger it's the same. I can forget to eat because I get so engrossed. Unfortunately (or fortunately) my body reminds me sooner or later..."Time to eat...NOW!!!"

That same feeling could be what your son has if he is engaged in something. He may not even feel like he has to go until there is no choice. I'm NOT saying this is THE reason, but I am saying after ruling out medical causes, this could be a likely possiblitiy. It is documented with autism and aspergers, starting and stoping tasks is one of the key challenges. To break off from a task and be forced to change into another sets off a variable degree of anxiety from mild to severe, depending on the situation and the person. Stopping to use the bathroom/restroom is such a case and so is eating and sleeping.

[chikp]

Even though you have probably explained this a thousand times, I think that we need more information in order to help you out.  Here's what I've gathered from your previous posts:
1.  your son is almost 6 years old
2.  he's been toilet trained since 3 1/2
3.  about 3 months ago he started having accidents (pee and poop) at school
4.  school thought that seizures might be causing the accidents?
5.  he had a med change and no improvement to the situation.

It would be helpful to know a few more things:
1.  is this happening every day
2.  is it happening at the same time
3.  if they take him to the bathroom at school, will he resist going
4.  have they started an ABC chart (antecedent, behavior, consequence) to track this behavior
5.  is he having accidents at home
6.  what is the kid to adult ratio in his classroom
7.  what have they tried at school to help out in this situation

again, these questions may seem unnecessary, but there are several reasons why kids regress in toilet training (it is not all that uncommon).  sometimes going through the process of elimination (pun intended) is helpful in finding out what is going on and how to help out.

any other information you can provide will also be helpful.

[shackelford]

He will not even tell anyone that he has to go to the bathroom. He doesn't seem to be under any stress. His routine is still the same as it has always been. The doctor thought it was because of one of his meds, but now he is off of that med and still doing this. Then they thought that he was having sezuires. He had an EEG done and that came back normal even though he was twitching the whole time. I feel like his school is putting me on trial for this. Every day they have someone new calling me asing the same questions. I am sorry if I seem short I just don't know what to do.

[MJIthewriter]

Does he appear to be stressed? Stress can do a number of things. Is he engaged in activities such as playing, that it is difficult to pull him away?  Maybe just a few more details can help us try to figure out a possible explanation and solution.

I know as a 6 year old I would get so engrossed in whatever I was doing I would put off going as long as I could because I didn't want to be interrupted. When the inevetable came, it was a big rush to get to the bathroom if I could make it there at all.

[shackelford]

he has never had a problem at school. So that is not the reason why I just thought maybe someone was oing through the same thing. I get enough attitude from his school so thanks but no thanks.

[mjthewriterdad]

Does he do this at school and home or just school?  I can think of a few reasons for not wanting to go at school.   Maybe it's too "public?"