Aa
Another question: Chages to routine
This goes with my other question from yesterday, I guess. I just remembered it.
I notice that when things change in my daily routine I become very aggitated and panic. I often start crying or I get very angry when someone changes things on me. Recently there have been a lot of changes at work and just as I get into the flow of things, they change them again. I start to feel attacked and isolated. Hard to explain, exactly.
Does anyone else have these sort of reactions to change? I just can't seem to get into the flow of things and with these troubling thought patterns, confusion, and forgetfulness I just seem to be struggling all the time.
I notice that when things change in my daily routine I become very aggitated and panic. I often start crying or I get very angry when someone changes things on me. Recently there have been a lot of changes at work and just as I get into the flow of things, they change them again. I start to feel attacked and isolated. Hard to explain, exactly.
Does anyone else have these sort of reactions to change? I just can't seem to get into the flow of things and with these troubling thought patterns, confusion, and forgetfulness I just seem to be struggling all the time.
I am the same way with plans. If plans do not work out as I expected I start to panic and get upset. It depends on the plans, though. Or, if I have something that needs to be done that requires me to leave my house after I get home, I want to do it right away otherwise it becomes a repetative thought and I can't relax until I know it is done. >.< It can be very frustrating.
Hell I get really agitated if even my plans to go to McDonalds were interrupted. LOL I'm a bit more relaxed with it though as I don't structure my life much but if I make even a small plan I get really pissed if it doesn't happen. Big plans I never bother with because of how much they fail unless it kills time for me and doesn't involve spending resources like money which then I don't really care if it succeeds or fails. I think it's just the stress aspect of it like ILADVOCATE said because this happens with mental illnesses like autism as well although they can be really extreme with it.
Oh thank you for the tips. # 3 especially. My thing is that the changes get sprung on me suddenly in the middle of the day. Like I have to make reminder calls for the patients to come in. I was doing it a day in advance. Well, they decided to change it to two days in advance which is really hard for me because we are closed saturday and sunday. So for Monday and Tuesday that is not 2 days in advance, it is more like 4 days and I get confused which day I'm supposed to be calling. And more than one time I have said "You're appointment is tomorrow" but it is not tomorrow and the patient calls me back angry saying that they had it written at a different time than I said on the phone (the correct time,) and I don't handle it well when the patients are yelling at me because I get frightened.
Well, on Monday I came in and there were big signs all over the office that had been taped up saying "THIS LOOKS SLOPPY!" and a long note on my desk talking about how I work with the public and I need to stop being so sloppy, at all the places around my work space where I had papers that I work on all day. I'm not allowed to have many papers on my desk, but I have to work with papers all day and I have no work space. There were 3 or 4 signs. So I went into the store room and cried because I was so embarassed and shook up and felt like a complete failure in life. It is hard for me to organize the papers, and I missed 2 days so I didn't get a chance to clean up for the holiday because I was sick.
I have requested a work space not viewable by the public so that I can get things done at the pace I need to work at without forgetting things and getting overly confused. But so far I have not heard if that will work out. Anyway, I'm just frustrated and I don't know how to make it better.
Well, on Monday I came in and there were big signs all over the office that had been taped up saying "THIS LOOKS SLOPPY!" and a long note on my desk talking about how I work with the public and I need to stop being so sloppy, at all the places around my work space where I had papers that I work on all day. I'm not allowed to have many papers on my desk, but I have to work with papers all day and I have no work space. There were 3 or 4 signs. So I went into the store room and cried because I was so embarassed and shook up and felt like a complete failure in life. It is hard for me to organize the papers, and I missed 2 days so I didn't get a chance to clean up for the holiday because I was sick.
I have requested a work space not viewable by the public so that I can get things done at the pace I need to work at without forgetting things and getting overly confused. But so far I have not heard if that will work out. Anyway, I'm just frustrated and I don't know how to make it better.
I can totaly relate in a sence that I have never responded well to change at all....or new situations for that matter. When I was working full time I know changes at the job always stressed me out I would curse bite my nails and sometimes I even said rude things to my superior. I even cursed him out once on my shift....(still not sure how I didn't get canned for that one 0_o) but anyways (adapting has never been my strong suit in any sence) In the past I tended to stick with familar situations and places alot and get very nervous about change.....
whenever I would go somewhere new meet new people take a class I've never taken before it was diffucult to catch a routine. I wouldn't always do well the first time I would get lost blut out something dumb forget something I needed....the list goes on and on... I think new situations are stressful to everyone bipolar or not.....I never do as well as others do the first time around in school or work situations...or other times where I needed to accomplish stuff I just feel down right awquard and jinxed....
sometimes I do outright horrible and feel ashamed stupid and umotivated even mortified espically when its a mistake I make in front of others.........there are a few tacitics I use to help me though (that might also help you)
1) I carry my meds on me everywhere I go. I put them in a small zipper pouch in my purse along with a pill cutter to ajust the dosage. If its really bad I excuse myself to the restroom and take a small amount and a few deep breaths to help myself and see how its working ...to me its a nesity because over stress can make you cycle or have mood swings or heavy anxiety
and this will affect your clarity of moods and preformance at work so on.....
(I'm sure you know this next one already but....)
2) also get a good nights rest the night before take your meds early and turn out the lights completely when you sleep. Get everything ready the night before to minimise stress in the morning, and set your alram early in case you get stressed can't wake up or forget something. If its real stressful make a list of things you need to do......Don't skip breakfast because this helps wake you up and start your matabolism try eating something with a natural sugar such as a fruit....
but also eat something with fats chease milk yogart nuts or a fatty meat (this slows down the absorption of the sugar and helps the meal stay with you throughtout the day. If you get tired in the morning try drinking a tea or coffee if you feel you can handle it.... (this is another thing that has helped me alot) Don't do it if your wide awake tho...that might make you manic
3) at work.....yes bipolar can be really emabressing but if your moods are in any way stable try to telll yourself push this away....(if they aren't try my first suggestion see how it works) I know this is real difficult and its real easy to feel frustrated or effusive break down cry and other things...and sometimes we let it get the best of us this can't always be helped but....try taking some deep breaths and not second guiessing yourself if you make a maistake try to forgive yourself and plan on doing beter the next time.... if you relax things may come easier.... others see us when we are in public and sudle ciews such as body language or facail expessions may affect how others are treating you. And if you view yourself as feeling emabressed awquard pissed off or other things it may affect how you project yourself to others and cause then to treat you diffrently.
whenever I would go somewhere new meet new people take a class I've never taken before it was diffucult to catch a routine. I wouldn't always do well the first time I would get lost blut out something dumb forget something I needed....the list goes on and on... I think new situations are stressful to everyone bipolar or not.....I never do as well as others do the first time around in school or work situations...or other times where I needed to accomplish stuff I just feel down right awquard and jinxed....
sometimes I do outright horrible and feel ashamed stupid and umotivated even mortified espically when its a mistake I make in front of others.........there are a few tacitics I use to help me though (that might also help you)
1) I carry my meds on me everywhere I go. I put them in a small zipper pouch in my purse along with a pill cutter to ajust the dosage. If its really bad I excuse myself to the restroom and take a small amount and a few deep breaths to help myself and see how its working ...to me its a nesity because over stress can make you cycle or have mood swings or heavy anxiety
and this will affect your clarity of moods and preformance at work so on.....
(I'm sure you know this next one already but....)
2) also get a good nights rest the night before take your meds early and turn out the lights completely when you sleep. Get everything ready the night before to minimise stress in the morning, and set your alram early in case you get stressed can't wake up or forget something. If its real stressful make a list of things you need to do......Don't skip breakfast because this helps wake you up and start your matabolism try eating something with a natural sugar such as a fruit....
but also eat something with fats chease milk yogart nuts or a fatty meat (this slows down the absorption of the sugar and helps the meal stay with you throughtout the day. If you get tired in the morning try drinking a tea or coffee if you feel you can handle it.... (this is another thing that has helped me alot) Don't do it if your wide awake tho...that might make you manic
3) at work.....yes bipolar can be really emabressing but if your moods are in any way stable try to telll yourself push this away....(if they aren't try my first suggestion see how it works) I know this is real difficult and its real easy to feel frustrated or effusive break down cry and other things...and sometimes we let it get the best of us this can't always be helped but....try taking some deep breaths and not second guiessing yourself if you make a maistake try to forgive yourself and plan on doing beter the next time.... if you relax things may come easier.... others see us when we are in public and sudle ciews such as body language or facail expessions may affect how others are treating you. And if you view yourself as feeling emabressed awquard pissed off or other things it may affect how you project yourself to others and cause then to treat you diffrently.
Yeah, I am just hanging on until I can have some money for a visit. It is hard for me and I am getting embarassed at work all the time due to my problems. I wish I could just hide until I can get things better, but I don't have the ability to take that much time off. I am hoping next year is better. I was really praying for a good change with the healthcare system here, but now it seems that is not going to happen. There will be change, but not one that will help my family. Sadly, that means I will probably continue to struggle for a long time. I am hoping for at least 10 more good years at the least. :(
Yes that can be a part of bipolar. I've seen it more in other people than in myself. But it can happen. Sometimes in mixed states. Either way reacting to stress is normal. Reacting to change in general can be of concern. Speak to your psychiatrist about it as it seems things aren't working out as well as they should
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