Is this bipolar disorder...??

[Debs523]

I have a friend, who im know now since 2009, i really liked him when i met him, and the feeling was mutaul, but for some reason, it never went that far for us to start something. And ever since he always had a very soft spot in my heart. Right now we are waht i assume very good friends, But what bothers me is that, he has a very strange behaviour. The one minute we will be chatting nice and happy...him sometimes sharing his stuff wiht me... and after a period of time when i make contact he is in no mood to be friends with me...after a while again he will be all nice apolgising and then we continue with our friendship. this period of not wanting to be friends go over for 4 to 5 months... i really didnt liked it in the beginning but recently it hit me that he might have a prblem because our friendship dont really last for  a month and then he is in his moods again, and in that month he wants to talk this week , next week all of a sudden, i get a message ' forget about me'...then the other week its as if nothings happend. TOday i woke realising he might have Bipolar disorder..i might be wrong, (cause he told me in the begining he was in a car accident, and hurt his head very bad, which steel plates had to be inserted).. ...but he has unexpected strange moods. I really want to help him, how can i do that without offending or pushing him totally away...and make him realise that he does have a problem????

[Debs523]

ILADVOCATE....i fully agree on your advice...but my biggest concern is how do i get him there...according to him HE is 100% he doesnt realise he has a problem... But i will take lindahand's advice, to give him space and wait for him to open up one day..maybe we can work from then....

[ILADVOCATE]

  Yes I agree with the above posts but if there is the potential that this concern could have been caused by a traumatic brain injury he should follow up by seeing a neurologist as well. Then they could speak with his psychiatrist. The specific guidelines as regards medication dosing and the specifics of what to prescribe can differ with a TBI but only a doctor would understand this in full. There are also agencies that can provide useful information in this regard such as the Brain Injury Foundation and it would be worthwhile to suggest he contact them and they could give him some helpful information and potentiallyl which doctors specialize in this area that he could then be referred to. There is also a specific forum for this concern as well.

[Amy4891]

I sappose it would all depend on what part of his brain might have been injured as well.

[Debs523]

ok, thanks

[Anneinside]

Perhaps I phrased that incorrectly, but having to have mental plates implanted on his head indicates that he had severe damage.... damage to his brain. Damage to the head and brain is also called Traumatic Brain Injury. Perhaps that a clearer way to say what I intended.

[Debs523]

thanks Linda...its as hard sticking around. But deep down i know he needs me, and taht he will open up someday....thats why i dotn want to walk away knowing i couldve help..

[Debs523]

WE not talking about brain demage..but head injuries...two diff things....that is what Amy4891 is referrin to...

[Anneinside]

Brain damage causes traumatic brain injury, not bipolar. There can be physical, cognitive, social, emotional, and behavioral effects, including mood changes. But the cause of it is not bipolar so medications used for stabilizing bipolar won't work for TBI.

[Amy4891]

sorry there FOR him not from, lol.

[Amy4891]

I have heard that head injuries can cause bipolar disorder, but I am not sure how true that is since the person that told me that was not a doctor. Maybe you should do some research about it. I know when I am depressed I won't always ask for help, but secretly I always want it. I agree not to push him too much about anything, but you should definately let him know that you are there from him.

[Debs523]

Thanks thatquietgirl, im glad your comment confirmed what i was thinking of doing..and yes...i have assured him that, i will be ther for him if he needs to talk or need my help.

[thatquietgirl]

It's...not necessarily indicative that he has bipolar disorder specifically.  He does have a problem he's dealing with (or perhaps not dealing with properly; it's hard to tell without knowing the person), whether it's depression or some other mental illness.

It could be related to the crash, too, though.  I have a friend who was in a car crash and it completely changed her mental make-up.  Like, she is far more moody and was never able to go in and figure out what happened (brain damage or not) because she didn't have insurance at the time and has only had insurance off and on since.

And unfortunately there's no way to offer help without offending him or pushing him away at this point.  He probably realizes he has a problem but doesn't know how to handle it properly.  The best thing to do would be to wait and see what happens, and if he ever kind of vanishes again with the, "Forget about me," comments, just tell him you're there if he needs you and leave it at that.  Don't bug him.  Don't push him.  Don't ask him what's wrong.  You have to let him come to you.  You have to let him decide he can talk to you.