Aa
Child Custody
My ex girlfriend...the love of my life ...has a little boy whom I helped to raise from the time he was 10 months old until he was 3. She suffers from what i consider to be sever Bi polar disorder. She blows things out of proportion...has major mood swings...can't sleep...makes poor judgment calls etc...she has been diagnosed with this many years ago. I dealt with her issues for two years till she decided in the period of one month that all of the sudden I wasn't the right man for her. she is now with a married man who has 6 children..cares nothing for her own and is an overall terrible person. She has moved her child in 8 months to at least 5 different adresses...refuses any sort of treatment...says this man is hte love of her life and the best thing since sliced bread...shes lost her good paying job (one where the child had insurance) trying to get back at me..I also work there... and claims to have a great life with a new car agreat apartment and furniture and an engagment fing on her finger...non of which she or he can afford...She has also not paid any back bills and continually says shes pregnant to this man. She also lies over and over to herself and everyone else and admits no wrong doing on cheating on me on several occasions...and lying about it and using me good nature to con me out of a loan. Now when this woman was on and even keel so to speak...she turned her life around..was a perfect mate and loving person and had a host of great friends...all of whom she has now cut off and won't pay any attention too.
My question is..the childs father...has no clue whats really going on...his parents wanted to seek custody of the child before her and I even got together....if they only knew the things her son as gone through since shes left this house they freak. I love her...and I love that child and wanted to marry her and adopt him...as I stated we had some problems..minor ones but then who doesn't...in a matter of a few short weeks her good friend was killed in an accident...her sisters baby was born with respitory problems...she began a downward cycle and started her constant naggin on me about things that were already discussed and put to rest so to speak....then she was severly injured at our job with a head injury...within a few weeks her new" friend" she was confiding in became her new boyfriend and all those that loved and cared for her and knew her issues where cut off.......
Her son has sever behavioral problems as told to both of us by a physcologist...she was also told for her own good and that of her sons to seek physciatric treatment and begin medication...her boy has suffered from being removed from our home he ..at leat in the beginning asked for me by name daily...she has overly punished him as a result of interaction between this mans children and her son....put herself in a financial situation she can never get out of without help... dragger her son out at 5oo am to get this gut to work...something she would never have even consdired in an emergency before...and lied so much about all her wrong doings she is actually starting to beleive she has done nothing wrong...
Do I tell the father? Do I tell the grandparents what i know? I dont' feel right doing nothing at all. She blames me for all her bad luck as of late. where as she always supported and loved me now she hates and loathes me. She has been told over and over she has problems and still won't accept that even though she knows she is bi polar....I beleive that though her child is not at immediate risk the long term effects of living with his untreated mother are extremely detrimental to the childs future. I was also told by severl ppl who suffer from bi polar disorder that the child should be removed from that house as soon as possible and that the shock of having her child taken from her...and given the reasons why might actually convince her to seek treatment and possible cuase her to snap out of her mania...while I personally don't beleive the latter part of that...I am no expert and wonder if something like that is at all possible....
I don't wish to her this person in anyway but her child does have problems something I knew long before our relationship got serious....before I could alway soothe her and I had just gotten her to the point where I had her begin treatment for her chronic pain/fibromyalgia when all this started. I've been told by those who don't understand bi polar to give up on her..shes a liar and a cheat and will never change. I can' not in good concious do that. I do not give up on those I love. But it tears me apart day by day seeing that world she lives in crash around her and yet she sees nothing but the sun shinning and blue skies. Its incredible!
If I did speak to the Grandparents I wouldn't not recommend that this be a permanant solution only a temparary one until she was well enough to begin caring for the c hild again. That child is her life...and in my opinion she had some issues with mother hood...inconsistancy...lack of dicipline...but certainly not neglect. The child is very bright and loved by many people who are not even blood relatives. I have no legal connection to this child.But after raising him as my own for 2 years I will never be able to forgive myself if I do nothing. Besides which when this woman was not going through this long term manic episode she was the most wonderful person I have ever been with. I wanted and still want...to spend my life with her...problems and all. But I just don't know how to get through to her. Even if she never wants to speak to me again...I thought I dread...the child does not need to deal with this fairly tale world she seems to be living in...I can only imagine the damage thats already been done.
Any adivice will be welcome
My question is..the childs father...has no clue whats really going on...his parents wanted to seek custody of the child before her and I even got together....if they only knew the things her son as gone through since shes left this house they freak. I love her...and I love that child and wanted to marry her and adopt him...as I stated we had some problems..minor ones but then who doesn't...in a matter of a few short weeks her good friend was killed in an accident...her sisters baby was born with respitory problems...she began a downward cycle and started her constant naggin on me about things that were already discussed and put to rest so to speak....then she was severly injured at our job with a head injury...within a few weeks her new" friend" she was confiding in became her new boyfriend and all those that loved and cared for her and knew her issues where cut off.......
Her son has sever behavioral problems as told to both of us by a physcologist...she was also told for her own good and that of her sons to seek physciatric treatment and begin medication...her boy has suffered from being removed from our home he ..at leat in the beginning asked for me by name daily...she has overly punished him as a result of interaction between this mans children and her son....put herself in a financial situation she can never get out of without help... dragger her son out at 5oo am to get this gut to work...something she would never have even consdired in an emergency before...and lied so much about all her wrong doings she is actually starting to beleive she has done nothing wrong...
Do I tell the father? Do I tell the grandparents what i know? I dont' feel right doing nothing at all. She blames me for all her bad luck as of late. where as she always supported and loved me now she hates and loathes me. She has been told over and over she has problems and still won't accept that even though she knows she is bi polar....I beleive that though her child is not at immediate risk the long term effects of living with his untreated mother are extremely detrimental to the childs future. I was also told by severl ppl who suffer from bi polar disorder that the child should be removed from that house as soon as possible and that the shock of having her child taken from her...and given the reasons why might actually convince her to seek treatment and possible cuase her to snap out of her mania...while I personally don't beleive the latter part of that...I am no expert and wonder if something like that is at all possible....
I don't wish to her this person in anyway but her child does have problems something I knew long before our relationship got serious....before I could alway soothe her and I had just gotten her to the point where I had her begin treatment for her chronic pain/fibromyalgia when all this started. I've been told by those who don't understand bi polar to give up on her..shes a liar and a cheat and will never change. I can' not in good concious do that. I do not give up on those I love. But it tears me apart day by day seeing that world she lives in crash around her and yet she sees nothing but the sun shinning and blue skies. Its incredible!
If I did speak to the Grandparents I wouldn't not recommend that this be a permanant solution only a temparary one until she was well enough to begin caring for the c hild again. That child is her life...and in my opinion she had some issues with mother hood...inconsistancy...lack of dicipline...but certainly not neglect. The child is very bright and loved by many people who are not even blood relatives. I have no legal connection to this child.But after raising him as my own for 2 years I will never be able to forgive myself if I do nothing. Besides which when this woman was not going through this long term manic episode she was the most wonderful person I have ever been with. I wanted and still want...to spend my life with her...problems and all. But I just don't know how to get through to her. Even if she never wants to speak to me again...I thought I dread...the child does not need to deal with this fairly tale world she seems to be living in...I can only imagine the damage thats already been done.
Any adivice will be welcome
Don't worry I won't be posting here anymore.This as most of you have stated obviously isn't the right place to seek help in this issue.
Besides, the more information he adds, the more narrowed down it gets, and considering that I could even get his IP address, and find out where this post is being written from, if he does decide to give out more information he could be a target for law actions proceeded by the female he is talking about. even if he writes from a library computer, it's still narrowing the subject down enough to proceed with charges.
The point of me even bringing up legal rights about disclosing personal information was only to specifically point out that the only crime here is bitter ex boyfriend/girlfriend's
and to show jen21287 that there are laws against such act's
But I certainly wasn't saying I was offering to take such a case. Hypothetically if the girl at hand was to actually read this site and saw this post, first off she would have to have knowledge of her legal right, second she would have to have proof it was about her (IP address linking to the gentleman writing this post, actually names would be beneficial), and thirdly if she came to me with just a copy of this post, I wouldn't even take the case because there would be no hope of winning.
The point was that there is no real crime against the child, the answer to his question, he would get no where if he was to try an move forward with such a decision, and that's to say that any attorney would even accept the case due to lack of evidence.
There is how ever, grandparent rights, which not too many people know about, mostly because it depends on the state you live in and not too many cases are won. But it depends on the welfare of the child once again. If it was beneficial to the child, then there is a possibility that the grandparents could set up visitation, that's about as far as they could go. and this isn't a site for relationship problems, this is a site for medical issues and support with the medical issues. The female that is being discussed might have better luck at this site for her personal issues,
and to show jen21287 that there are laws against such act's
But I certainly wasn't saying I was offering to take such a case. Hypothetically if the girl at hand was to actually read this site and saw this post, first off she would have to have knowledge of her legal right, second she would have to have proof it was about her (IP address linking to the gentleman writing this post, actually names would be beneficial), and thirdly if she came to me with just a copy of this post, I wouldn't even take the case because there would be no hope of winning.
The point was that there is no real crime against the child, the answer to his question, he would get no where if he was to try an move forward with such a decision, and that's to say that any attorney would even accept the case due to lack of evidence.
There is how ever, grandparent rights, which not too many people know about, mostly because it depends on the state you live in and not too many cases are won. But it depends on the welfare of the child once again. If it was beneficial to the child, then there is a possibility that the grandparents could set up visitation, that's about as far as they could go. and this isn't a site for relationship problems, this is a site for medical issues and support with the medical issues. The female that is being discussed might have better luck at this site for her personal issues,
I think your on the wrong website. You're not looking for info or help with Bipolar but rather playing games with an ex-girlfriend. No one is trying to be mean here but jjbailey22 knows what she's talking about. She's made some excellent points. I think this is a job for a therapist, you would probably get to the root of what this push and pull is all about.
We are here to (quoting Med Help) "This forum is for questions and support for people with, or for loved ones of people with Bipolar Disorder". Not to try and solve ex-girlfriend/ boyfriend issues. You may want to try a relationships forum since it appears that's what this is about. The Bipolar is a secondary issue.
I hope you find a way to let it go, let her go, and move on. If she's going to mess up her life, that's her business, she's an adult. No one can stop her from doing that, no one but herself.
We are here to (quoting Med Help) "This forum is for questions and support for people with, or for loved ones of people with Bipolar Disorder". Not to try and solve ex-girlfriend/ boyfriend issues. You may want to try a relationships forum since it appears that's what this is about. The Bipolar is a secondary issue.
I hope you find a way to let it go, let her go, and move on. If she's going to mess up her life, that's her business, she's an adult. No one can stop her from doing that, no one but herself.
never say never in no one is not able to find out anything because not enough information was given. that is a load of **** in same cases. Because I could tell you stuff that I found out that anyone else was unable to with the little information like that of CMarley337 has given.
As i read your post you said that everyone that seems to have the bipolar disorder is siding with her Even if that is the case you still have no physical proof that she has actually harmed her child. If you go into court with just hearsay they will throw everything out. They could say you are bitter over losing your ex. It doesnt matter if you said her name or not like the previous post said anyone could read this and just say "umm this person sounds familiar" and that will cause alot of problems. First of all the father himself would have to show he is a better and responsible parent (but you, yourself said he is not). The grandparents had no legal hold to their grandchild because the father is still living.
You on here because (i hope) is looking for guidance because you might do care for the child. but you need to watch how you do it. Besides you talking to ppl about her where you at will be considered slander. which i sure she wont take this lightly if she finds out because it will become more problems for you then they are for her.
You feel taking away her child might cause her to wake up. but everyone is not the same it might just cause more harm than good.
You on here because (i hope) is looking for guidance because you might do care for the child. but you need to watch how you do it. Besides you talking to ppl about her where you at will be considered slander. which i sure she wont take this lightly if she finds out because it will become more problems for you then they are for her.
You feel taking away her child might cause her to wake up. but everyone is not the same it might just cause more harm than good.
jen21287:
I may not be able to geuss who this girl is,
but if she was to read it or somebody she knows, and realize who your talking about and who you are
This would fall under "defamation of character", "Harassment", and "Libel"
Defamation of Character:
The term defamation of character is often used to describe accusations of slander, libel or both. Slander involves verbal derogatory statements, while libel involves written ones. In a court of law, the plaintiff pursuing the lawsuit would charge defamation of character to cover any form of false or damaging allegations
Harassment:
harassment is unwanted verbal comments which make a person feel bad or unsafe. Examples include: teasing to cause embarrassment, or threatening to cause harm to the person, or teasing about a person's clothes or appearance.
Harassment falls into two categories although there may be some overlap.
Where the harassment is on the ground of sex, race, sexual orientation, DISABILITY, 4 religious belief or political opinion.
As outlined in the Protection From Harassment (NI) Order 1997
Under the first category, harassment is unwanted conduct of a sexual, racial or sectarian nature or other conduct based on sex, race, disability, religious belief or political opinion that affects the dignity of women and men at work. Harassment can include unwelcome physical, verbal or non verbal conduct.
Such behaviour is unacceptable where it is unwanted, unreasonable and offensive to the recipient. Sexual, racial and sectarian harassment, or harassment on grounds of disability constitute discrimination, and are unlawful. Harassment may also be a criminal offence and may contravene Health and Safety legalisation: complaints of this type of harassment can also be brought under the Protection From Harassment Order.
An examples of harassment is included here, but many forms of behaviour can constitute harassment.
verbal and written harassment through jokes, offensive language, GOSSIP and slander, sectarian or racist songs, threats, letters.
Libel:
An untruthful statement about a person, published in writing or through broadcast media, that injures the person's reputation or standing in the community. Because libel is a tort (a civil wrong), the injured person can bring a lawsuit against the person who made the false statement. Libel is a form of defamation , as is slander (an untruthful statement that is spoken, but not published in writing or broadcast through the media).
there ARE laws against talking about somebody even if it is on cyberspace.
You never mentioned her name, age or where she lives. There is absolutely NO way anyone could find out her identity. There is no law stating that you cannot disclose information about someone. The law that is in place is doctor-patient confidentiality. A doctor cannot disclose information about a patient without his/her consent. You are not a doctor, so there is no problem there. There is no law against gossip - which is what this is. If there was a law against gossip, there would not be the numerous publications, television shows, and websites out there that spread rumors or disclose personal information about presidents, politicians, celebrities, etc against their will. I believe you are doing what is right. That is not a stable environment for a child to grow up in. I have a friend that grew up with an unmedicated and unstable bipolar mother and it has permanently affected her and she has many issues because of that. She hasn't spoken to her mom in 10 years. Losing her child temporarily might be the best thing because she could realize that she does have a serious problem and needs to seek treatment. Look at the Britney Spears situation, she lost her children because she was completely unstable and out of control. I am not saying she is bipolar, but something was definitely wrong with her. She is now seeking treatment and getting better and now she is able to spend more time with her kids. I think you are doing the right thing and this is coming from someone who suffers from this illness. No child deserves that. Why wait until something bad does happen. Since she is unmedicated and out of control right now - things can still get worse. It doesn't hurt to at least try even if the odds might be in her favor because of the crazy court system.
She chose to look at her own personal needs/wants instead of looking out for the welfare and future of her child. Shes dragged him to 7 different locations in 8 months. Completley changed his schedule..secluded him from people who love him other then herself made poor decisions that effect his health insurance..neglected to contiune breathing treatments that he was ordered to have by his Dr. She has also put him in en environment where he is picked on by 6 other older children who are bitter about the break up of there fathers own Marriage. The child suffers from extreme behavioral problems that are directly releated to his mothers illness. Not my words but those of hers and my physcologist. I realize my responses sound bitter towards her...and I admit i do feel that way at times...I apologize for sounding so direct and irratable when I know all you were trying to do was help. My repsonses were not very written very well. I guess I feel helpless becuase I know there is alot of things going on that are hard to explain on here. I do beleive that the child is suffering due to her decisions and that she is jeoprodizing hers and his future. She is capable of so much more. Im am upset over the fact that although its an unsavory idea to have the child removed even temporarily I was I guess grasping at straws that this might be a way that would help her to seek the treatment she needs. Everything else has been tried...She listens to a few people and then completley ingores the handwritting on the wall and she is contiuning in a downward spiral that is going to leave her with more children she can financially not support...and in an abusive relationship..( the mans been arrested 4 times for assualt on his wife) . This is very hard for me and her younger sister to sit by and watch and not seek help or other solutions. I guess thats why I came here...once again im sorry my posts seemed so negative I wn't make excuses for my feelings of bitternes but I want you to know that I shouldn't have allowed them to surface when my main goal was to seek help for her. So the next thing is other then sitting back and watching and waiting for her to crash on her own and hope that she comes to those who care ( when its too late and shes put in herself in a situation where a relapse is more considerable) What do we do?
You still failed to provide information on how the child is in danger, instead you decided to write about personal feelings on issues that have nothing to do with the child's well being. Such as:
"says this man is hte love of her life and the best thing since sliced bread...shes lost her good paying job (one where the child had insurance) trying to get back at me..I also work there... and claims to have a great life with a new car agreat apartment and furniture and an engagment fing on her finger...non of which she or he can afford...She has also not paid any back bills and continually says shes pregnant to this man. She also lies over and over to herself and everyone else and admits no wrong doing on cheating on me on several occasions...and lying about it and using me good nature to con me out of a loan."
and....
"Sad thing is this idiot shes with has 6 children already and she wants more...she is totally incapable of raising children the way they need to raised unless we all what a new breed of crack selling lying cheating welfare using and never getting off children running around....which I don't... I see the effects of families like that....I work in a state prison....thats were half of them end up....well Not this child NOt if I have anything to do with it. "
and....
"As I stated her name wasn't mentioned and she broke my trust and confidentiality when she cheated stole lied and tried to get me fired from my job all becuase she decided she didn't need medication....least I have a better reason for discussing her issues on the internet."
I'm not twisting your words or statements, as anybody on here can see that I am simply copying and pasting what you are writing. I am simply highlighting sections of your statements and information you have put on here. I am writing comments based off of the information you have provided, and giving you the section of your statement as a reference point.
The statement second from last that I highlighted for you is not a concerning statement at all, and is not written with concern. You say your worried about her, but you also seem to be bashing (as you would call it) her and her new boyfriend. Your expecting people on this site to sympathise with you because you were hurt in a relationship, and that's what I'm getting from what you have written. But I still don't see anything you have written for anybody to sympathise with the child, unless he was wrongfully taken from the mother, and in that case give her my number, I know some people that could help. To continue with the issue that you have, it doesn't seem like her issue as I said, from the information provided the child seems to have a home to live in food in his stomach and a mother that cares about him, you haven't provided any information to make me or others think otherwise. I dought that any judge would provide custody to the grandparents when there is no proof of the child being in danger. Just because she hurt you in a past relationship, and possibly had hurt your feelings, that doesn't make her unfit to take care of her own child, and based on the information YOU yourself have written, that seems to be all you have to go on. If she doesn't want to take medication it is her right, and personal choice, her child doesn't seem to be in danger at the least. If the grandparents do win the custody, then there would have to be more to this story then what your actually writing, because a judge will look at the facts, and facts come from evidence, and the fact is there no way any judge in his right mind would take the child out of the home because of your personal frustration which you have stated:
"she broke my trust and confidentiality when she cheated stole lied and tried to get me fired from my job all becuase she decided she didn't need medication"
or as you stated before about both her and her boyfriend:
"Sad thing is this idiot shes with has 6 children already and she wants more...she is totally incapable of raising children the way they need to raised unless we all what a new breed of crack selling lying cheating welfare using and never getting off children running around"
The judge isn't going to believe the mother is unfit because she wasn't the ideal girl-friend. Your talking about removing this child not just from the home he resides in, but from his mothers arms, just because you don't like his mother doesn't mean that child doesn't love his mother and cherish every moment he has with her. Taking that child from the home would not just hurt the mother but it would devastate this child and give this child an even worst life effecting change then the one you describing. If your thinking about the child, then think about the facts, not personal feelings. I also wouldn't think that your bitter feelings towards the relationship is due to her lack of medication. Yes it is possible, but are you telling me that people that don't have this disability who aren't faithful in there relationship need medication? There are a lot of bitter ex's, and if she really did try to get you fired, that's not exactly a sign of bipolar, it's a sign of bitter feelings, and certainly not a sign of bad parenting.
You are correct in thinking that there isn't much legal stand point when your haven't mentioned her name, but the more information and more detail you give on this girl the more easily it would be proven whom you are talking about, and could still hold up in court, most likely you would win, and wouldn't get charged, but the point is that law is in effect for a reason. To protect those with the personal illness. Like I said before, you shouldn't be worried about offending somebody on her, but you should be worried about offending the mother you have obviously insulted.
Once again, I never "bashed" you. I never overstepped any boundaries for that matter. I basically did what you ask, I gave you the answer to you question with out insulting you (which I think would be considered "bashing" if I started calling names). Have you ever heard the saying "Be careful what you ask for, you might just get it"? I'm sorry you feel as though my comment were "bashing".
"says this man is hte love of her life and the best thing since sliced bread...shes lost her good paying job (one where the child had insurance) trying to get back at me..I also work there... and claims to have a great life with a new car agreat apartment and furniture and an engagment fing on her finger...non of which she or he can afford...She has also not paid any back bills and continually says shes pregnant to this man. She also lies over and over to herself and everyone else and admits no wrong doing on cheating on me on several occasions...and lying about it and using me good nature to con me out of a loan."
and....
"Sad thing is this idiot shes with has 6 children already and she wants more...she is totally incapable of raising children the way they need to raised unless we all what a new breed of crack selling lying cheating welfare using and never getting off children running around....which I don't... I see the effects of families like that....I work in a state prison....thats were half of them end up....well Not this child NOt if I have anything to do with it. "
and....
"As I stated her name wasn't mentioned and she broke my trust and confidentiality when she cheated stole lied and tried to get me fired from my job all becuase she decided she didn't need medication....least I have a better reason for discussing her issues on the internet."
I'm not twisting your words or statements, as anybody on here can see that I am simply copying and pasting what you are writing. I am simply highlighting sections of your statements and information you have put on here. I am writing comments based off of the information you have provided, and giving you the section of your statement as a reference point.
The statement second from last that I highlighted for you is not a concerning statement at all, and is not written with concern. You say your worried about her, but you also seem to be bashing (as you would call it) her and her new boyfriend. Your expecting people on this site to sympathise with you because you were hurt in a relationship, and that's what I'm getting from what you have written. But I still don't see anything you have written for anybody to sympathise with the child, unless he was wrongfully taken from the mother, and in that case give her my number, I know some people that could help. To continue with the issue that you have, it doesn't seem like her issue as I said, from the information provided the child seems to have a home to live in food in his stomach and a mother that cares about him, you haven't provided any information to make me or others think otherwise. I dought that any judge would provide custody to the grandparents when there is no proof of the child being in danger. Just because she hurt you in a past relationship, and possibly had hurt your feelings, that doesn't make her unfit to take care of her own child, and based on the information YOU yourself have written, that seems to be all you have to go on. If she doesn't want to take medication it is her right, and personal choice, her child doesn't seem to be in danger at the least. If the grandparents do win the custody, then there would have to be more to this story then what your actually writing, because a judge will look at the facts, and facts come from evidence, and the fact is there no way any judge in his right mind would take the child out of the home because of your personal frustration which you have stated:
"she broke my trust and confidentiality when she cheated stole lied and tried to get me fired from my job all becuase she decided she didn't need medication"
or as you stated before about both her and her boyfriend:
"Sad thing is this idiot shes with has 6 children already and she wants more...she is totally incapable of raising children the way they need to raised unless we all what a new breed of crack selling lying cheating welfare using and never getting off children running around"
The judge isn't going to believe the mother is unfit because she wasn't the ideal girl-friend. Your talking about removing this child not just from the home he resides in, but from his mothers arms, just because you don't like his mother doesn't mean that child doesn't love his mother and cherish every moment he has with her. Taking that child from the home would not just hurt the mother but it would devastate this child and give this child an even worst life effecting change then the one you describing. If your thinking about the child, then think about the facts, not personal feelings. I also wouldn't think that your bitter feelings towards the relationship is due to her lack of medication. Yes it is possible, but are you telling me that people that don't have this disability who aren't faithful in there relationship need medication? There are a lot of bitter ex's, and if she really did try to get you fired, that's not exactly a sign of bipolar, it's a sign of bitter feelings, and certainly not a sign of bad parenting.
You are correct in thinking that there isn't much legal stand point when your haven't mentioned her name, but the more information and more detail you give on this girl the more easily it would be proven whom you are talking about, and could still hold up in court, most likely you would win, and wouldn't get charged, but the point is that law is in effect for a reason. To protect those with the personal illness. Like I said before, you shouldn't be worried about offending somebody on her, but you should be worried about offending the mother you have obviously insulted.
Once again, I never "bashed" you. I never overstepped any boundaries for that matter. I basically did what you ask, I gave you the answer to you question with out insulting you (which I think would be considered "bashing" if I started calling names). Have you ever heard the saying "Be careful what you ask for, you might just get it"? I'm sorry you feel as though my comment were "bashing".
Well I thank you all for your input. If thats the way it is in this world its sad...basically theres no hope for either of them then, and from what Im hearing no one can or will do anything about it. Sad very sad
Thanks jjbailey22, you hit every nail on the head. You are going to make a fantastic attorney. I would take in every word from jjbailey22 's comment. She's about as right on as it gets, both logically and legally.
I didn't mention her name for one..two she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder so theres no violation of anything. You were right by statments were a bit rambling and I was a bit upset when I wrote that. Yes the grandparents I beleive have an overwhelming case. The father resides in the home with them for one...I have a very open mind but I don't think you JJbailey looked into the effect that those of us that care about people with this disorder go through. The person in question was completley evil not only to myself but to many others. and to hear people with the disorder themselves actually side with her? I have to wonder about that. No child should have to live in that state. I child living with a person whos a reformed molestor might not be in any immediate danger either but i doubt very seriously that anyone would want to leave that child there either. I am angry over what shes done considering when she was on an evenkeel she knew and admitted to being bi polar and was diagnosed twice! Yet she chose not to take the medications...thats what i have no respect for...not her herself...the decision she made...please don't mince my words. Your entitled to your opinions...I know that what i wrote sounded bitter and I thank both of you for your time and opinions. I have thought about this matter for months and wrestled with it.I thought maybe joining this forum would help me sort out how help her the child and myself before its too late for all of us. More often then not latley my anger over the issue of not taking the medication or treatment ( which she did well doing before apperently according to her own words)comes out when I talk about the situation.
Her parents are both dead by the way...and most of her family thats left....are either too old...or not capable of helping in anyway...If it makes any difference the childs Aunt...my ex's sister...agrees with the decision to have the child Temporarily removed from her sisters home. She would actually be a witness for the father.
As I stated her name wasn't mentioned and she broke my trust and confidentiality when she cheated stole lied and tried to get me fired from my job all becuase she decided she didn't need medication....least I have a better reason for discussing her issues on the internet. Where do you get off saying I broke her trust? I made a promise to her once...to help her no matter what for ever.....Even if is sounded bitter i certainly don't need to be bashed by someone becuase I tried to find more answers...even if I may have done it in the wrong way.
Her parents are both dead by the way...and most of her family thats left....are either too old...or not capable of helping in anyway...If it makes any difference the childs Aunt...my ex's sister...agrees with the decision to have the child Temporarily removed from her sisters home. She would actually be a witness for the father.
As I stated her name wasn't mentioned and she broke my trust and confidentiality when she cheated stole lied and tried to get me fired from my job all becuase she decided she didn't need medication....least I have a better reason for discussing her issues on the internet. Where do you get off saying I broke her trust? I made a promise to her once...to help her no matter what for ever.....Even if is sounded bitter i certainly don't need to be bashed by someone becuase I tried to find more answers...even if I may have done it in the wrong way.
From the information you have provided, you yourself have said that the child wasn't in immediate danger. She has the legal right to choose if she wants to medication in her body or not. She also has the legal right to raise a child with this illness (Even if she was medical diagnosed with bipolar). Considering the fact that the child immediate health isn't in danger, I dought that the grandparents even have a case..... plus considering the fact that you have no solid proof besides your own word, she could easily say your a bitter ex. and considering the post you made saying that you mean no harm and you just mean the best, but yet then post a reply to "cocoleli" stating that
" talked to some more people today and several more of them agreed the best solutionfor everyone is for the Grandparents to seek custody and that more then likely weather she hits rock bottom or not she will take the meds she needs to comply with getting her son back....if so then she gets the h elp she needs....sad that it has to be forced on her like that....but she had the choice before when she wasn't having and episode and she chose not to do anything and She KNOWS shes bi polar....I have no respect for that."
it doesn't sound like you were coming here with and open mind, but that you have already made your mind up. It sound to me like you more so wanted approval from people to go forward with this "case".
the statement that I quoted sounds like your intentions are not about this girl, but of bitter feelings. My opinion is solely base on the fact that you have told others of your intentions and bashing this poor girl because of a disability she can't even help if she does even have it. you stated:
" I also don't beleive that she will crash before she gets herself pregnant...if she isn't already and Im sorry But i don't beleive more children need to be brought into this situation."
that isn't a caring statement at all, it's more of an insult towards the girl your talking about.
you also stated:
"That child is her life...and in my opinion she had some issues with mother hood...inconsistancy...lack of dicipline...but certainly not neglect."
your opinion doesn't hold up in court. If the child has a roof over his head and food in his stomach and isn't in harm of any drugs, abuse (sexual, or physical), or neglect, there is no chance or any reason for that matter (legally, or personally) that would constitute the child being polled from the mothers home.
If I was you, I would let her be and pray for the child and her safety.
I don't mean to disappoint you, but I'm only speaking truth from personal knowledge.
and referring to your statement:
"I hope i didn't offend anyone"
You shouldn't be worried about offending anybody on here, you should be more worried about offending your ex-girlfriend you state that you love and care for. Your posting her personal disability over the Internet and telling anybody you know. And I believe there's a privacy act against that which could get you in trouble by law if you were to help take her to court. There is freedom of speech, but with limitations, and somebody else's personal diagnoses and mental illness is a limitation that wasn't meant to be breached. She must have trusted you enough to confided in you and tell you her personal information, unfortunately for her she now has her personal information posted on the Internet because you broke her trust and confidentiality.
there is no crime in being disabled!
" talked to some more people today and several more of them agreed the best solutionfor everyone is for the Grandparents to seek custody and that more then likely weather she hits rock bottom or not she will take the meds she needs to comply with getting her son back....if so then she gets the h elp she needs....sad that it has to be forced on her like that....but she had the choice before when she wasn't having and episode and she chose not to do anything and She KNOWS shes bi polar....I have no respect for that."
it doesn't sound like you were coming here with and open mind, but that you have already made your mind up. It sound to me like you more so wanted approval from people to go forward with this "case".
the statement that I quoted sounds like your intentions are not about this girl, but of bitter feelings. My opinion is solely base on the fact that you have told others of your intentions and bashing this poor girl because of a disability she can't even help if she does even have it. you stated:
" I also don't beleive that she will crash before she gets herself pregnant...if she isn't already and Im sorry But i don't beleive more children need to be brought into this situation."
that isn't a caring statement at all, it's more of an insult towards the girl your talking about.
you also stated:
"That child is her life...and in my opinion she had some issues with mother hood...inconsistancy...lack of dicipline...but certainly not neglect."
your opinion doesn't hold up in court. If the child has a roof over his head and food in his stomach and isn't in harm of any drugs, abuse (sexual, or physical), or neglect, there is no chance or any reason for that matter (legally, or personally) that would constitute the child being polled from the mothers home.
If I was you, I would let her be and pray for the child and her safety.
I don't mean to disappoint you, but I'm only speaking truth from personal knowledge.
and referring to your statement:
"I hope i didn't offend anyone"
You shouldn't be worried about offending anybody on here, you should be more worried about offending your ex-girlfriend you state that you love and care for. Your posting her personal disability over the Internet and telling anybody you know. And I believe there's a privacy act against that which could get you in trouble by law if you were to help take her to court. There is freedom of speech, but with limitations, and somebody else's personal diagnoses and mental illness is a limitation that wasn't meant to be breached. She must have trusted you enough to confided in you and tell you her personal information, unfortunately for her she now has her personal information posted on the Internet because you broke her trust and confidentiality.
there is no crime in being disabled!
I don't know what state she's in but even telling the father won't get him custody. You have to prove the child is in danger to get him taken from Mom. I've worked on cases worse than this and the judge always rules for the Mom. A lot of what she says would be hearsay anyway and hard to prove in court. I wish you luck, she sounds like she can't care for a child now but the law is on her side.
let me ask where is her parents, are they willing to take custody o the child? and these ppl that u talk of do they have knowledge of bipolar disorder. I doubt the courts will give custody to the grandparents being that the father is around and alive. even those he is irresponsible. do she now of yours plans for her beause if she does she can change her behavior real quick to make you look like a fool. You are saying that she is bipolar but she has not had a formal diagnosis so even if they take her to court it would do no good especially if these episodes have not been documented or recorded.
Everyone and there brother has talked to her. Shes beyond that. Also I don't think its as important if she suffers losing her son for awhile as it is for her son GETTING away from her sickness. She already caused him enough grief. If she had HIV and was bleeding or if she had TB and was contagious no one would think twice about saving the child...but since she seems to be living her life her own way ppl balk at taking a child from there mother...trust me the Grandparents are better for the child. then she is.
The father is immature himself but loves the child....He won't get custody but his parents would. Just mentioning Unmedicated in denail bi polar disorder in a custody case usually means a win for the other side. This woman assualts people when she gets violent and has extreme anxiety attacks. I talked to some more people today and several more of them agreed the best solutionfor everyone is for the Grandparents to seek custody and that more then likely weather she hits rock bottom or not she will take the meds she needs to comply with getting her son back....if so then she gets the h elp she needs....sad that it has to be forced on her like that....but she had the choice before when she wasn't having and episode and she chose not to do anything and She KNOWS shes bi polar....I have no respect for that. She ruined her life jeoprodized her sons future...caused him alot of trauma...hurt many people and damn near had me in a mental ward....Im sorry but she needs to be helped or she need not be a mother. Sad thing is this idiot shes with has 6 children already and she wants more...she is totally incapable of raising children the way they need to raised unless we all what a new breed of crack selling lying cheating welfare using and never getting off children running around....which I don't... I see the effects of families like that....I work in a state prison....thats were half of them end up....well Not this child NOt if I have anything to do with it.
The childs father did want to have something to do with his life he saw the child 3 long weekends a month....as per the custoday agreement and he was more the happy to see someone that loved his son and take care of him and not neglect him emotionally as she and he are both doing. So I've made up my mind. I also don't beleive that she will crash before she gets herself pregnant...if she isn't already and Im sorry But i don't beleive more children need to be brought into this situation.
I hope i didn't offend anyone but this is a serioud situation and if tough love is what is needed then even if she hates me forever if it gets her away from losers like shes with and has her back on track and creates the future for her son that he would have had before I have no choice but to give those ppl a call and tell them what I've learned.
The father is immature himself but loves the child....He won't get custody but his parents would. Just mentioning Unmedicated in denail bi polar disorder in a custody case usually means a win for the other side. This woman assualts people when she gets violent and has extreme anxiety attacks. I talked to some more people today and several more of them agreed the best solutionfor everyone is for the Grandparents to seek custody and that more then likely weather she hits rock bottom or not she will take the meds she needs to comply with getting her son back....if so then she gets the h elp she needs....sad that it has to be forced on her like that....but she had the choice before when she wasn't having and episode and she chose not to do anything and She KNOWS shes bi polar....I have no respect for that. She ruined her life jeoprodized her sons future...caused him alot of trauma...hurt many people and damn near had me in a mental ward....Im sorry but she needs to be helped or she need not be a mother. Sad thing is this idiot shes with has 6 children already and she wants more...she is totally incapable of raising children the way they need to raised unless we all what a new breed of crack selling lying cheating welfare using and never getting off children running around....which I don't... I see the effects of families like that....I work in a state prison....thats were half of them end up....well Not this child NOt if I have anything to do with it.
The childs father did want to have something to do with his life he saw the child 3 long weekends a month....as per the custoday agreement and he was more the happy to see someone that loved his son and take care of him and not neglect him emotionally as she and he are both doing. So I've made up my mind. I also don't beleive that she will crash before she gets herself pregnant...if she isn't already and Im sorry But i don't beleive more children need to be brought into this situation.
I hope i didn't offend anyone but this is a serioud situation and if tough love is what is needed then even if she hates me forever if it gets her away from losers like shes with and has her back on track and creates the future for her son that he would have had before I have no choice but to give those ppl a call and tell them what I've learned.
I believe in my own opinion her child is snatched away from her will have dire consequences. so please dont do that. Me myself being bipolar i have those same mood swings has your girlfriend does. Do you know of any close friend perferrably a social worker or anybody in that field that she maybe able to talk to AND trust.
Also you said the child's grandparents wanted to fight for custody and not the child's father. If the childs father didnt have nothing to do with him for two years why involve him now. I am sorry if i sound harsh but really now. Did he want to be involve or did he did not want to handle the responsibilities? Any way you been with her for 2 or 3 years try to hold out as long as you can I know this is difficult but try to support her. Right now she is going on a downward spiral that is causing her to crash this is a time she is going to need you. And if this becomes to much talk to anybody that she feels totally connected to help her seek the help she needs. I am here if you want to talk
Also you said the child's grandparents wanted to fight for custody and not the child's father. If the childs father didnt have nothing to do with him for two years why involve him now. I am sorry if i sound harsh but really now. Did he want to be involve or did he did not want to handle the responsibilities? Any way you been with her for 2 or 3 years try to hold out as long as you can I know this is difficult but try to support her. Right now she is going on a downward spiral that is causing her to crash this is a time she is going to need you. And if this becomes to much talk to anybody that she feels totally connected to help her seek the help she needs. I am here if you want to talk
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