Confused about my thoughts

[hell1971]

I have never had thoughts like this before, I think I am starting to be in a mixed episode! I have had my medication reduced and the mood swings have started, multiple a day. Yesterday on my way home from work I burst into tears I got home and got straight into bed and cried, no reason just cried whilst I was lying there I started to have thoughts about suicide, going through a situation in my head of how I would do it, i dont want to die and I dont understand where that came from? im not depressed, i am just having periods of depression but they are only lasting hrs not days or months so on the whole I am ok just a few ups and downs, I dont understand, I would if I had long term depression as I have had before but this is too quick changing, I dont understand.

[WishfulSpirit]

Your post didn't say if you're male or female, but if you're a woman, are you on or near your menstrual cycle? That really affects my mood.

You said you recently changed your medication. In my opinion, you need to get to whoever prescribes your meds and tell him or her that the reduction isn't working.

If you ever think you can't keep yourself safe, go to your local emergency room and ask for a psych eval. I've been through inpatient treatment and not only was is NOT a bad experience, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I learned so much, staff was so nice, and I wouldn't hesitate to go back if I ever needed to.

In my opinion, except for a few rare cases, the people who have bad experiences with inpatient care are those who are so screwed up they don't know they need help. That being said, a good facility should give you a statement of patient rights as soon as you walk in the door. Good luck.

[ILADVOCATE]

   You might be going through a  mixed state but you could ask your psychiatrist about that. I know some medications have been more helpful for me than others with that concern which I experience from time to time myself.

[ts3236]

Bi polar depression is the worst of all because the down side is so intense for people like us i myself have been struggling with dark thoughts of death,dying , losing intrest in things , crying anxiety etc. I feel your pain its just one of those things we have to push through but it seems so unfair.