Frightened a bit,,,

[rogelio63]

I went to my new psychiatrist yesterday.She was very nice.  She agreed with my prior diagnosis of BP II, PTSD, and added a new one, Anxiety disorder!..That's not the part that frightens me.  She said because I seemed to be doing okay on my current meds, she would just watch me for a couple of months but she may want to decrease them a bit.  That's the part that scares me!  I don't know why.  I went through one of those things a couple of weeks ago, you know, you're feeling good and you think, I don't have this illness, I don't need these meds.  But I did keep on taking them due to my wife.  Thanks honey!  But that confuses me, how can one week, I want to go off everything, deny my diagnosis by (now doctor #4)the doctors and then, now, be afraid of going off them!  I've been diagnosed for almost three years now.  Read alot about it.  Started going to a support group. And still I don't get me.

[lindahand]

I agree it is normal to be scared. We had to decrease my lamotrigine for 400mg to 200mg because of some kidney issues. It was really scary. You wonder if the depression will come back or worse for me the rapid cycling. It all just sits in your mind.

And maybe you know that meds help, eventhough you don't want to be on them you know they are good for you. Keep in mind though that your psychiatrist has your best interest at heart and if you really don't want to decrease medication discuss your fears with her. She may be able to put you at ease. Meds should always be a negotiation not a dictatorship.

[looloo141]

Hello, that all sounds very familiar, it's all part and parcel of having this illness I'm afraid.
Even on meds you're going to have your good days and bad days, it's a good sign that you felt asthough you don't need your meds, it means they are working, but as you know it's all a bit dangerous, so your wife did exactly the right thing, you need to make sure that she does that again if she needs to..she will be a big part of keeping you healthy, do try to listen to her when she is concerned about you..this has taken a lot of work between me and my partner, I kind of rule the roost and he does as he's told lol so I don't take it well when he tells me that he thinks I'm becoming unwell, I get angry with him and usually think he's evil and just trying to control me lol..
The doc might not decrease your meds, she probably does things differently to your previous doc, they all have their own ways and she might just think your doses seem quite high but some people only need low doses and some need high doses, it's so individual.
It's quite scary when the meds get tweaked around, you just get used to something and then they change it again! It's normal to be scared, it's something I get anxious about before each appointment. If you are worried then tell her that you are not in a place where you feel you can deal with a med decrease, she will understand.
I don't get me either LOL there is a certain part to this illness that you can't change, and you have to just accept it, its taken me 14 years though.