thinking pain

[gee61]

i an a person who thinks of suicide often. Conversations go on in my head about it all the time when i feel fear or procrastinate about things i do not want to do or fear. i stop thinking about it when i think of my children but it always comes back... the sadness and fear. what can i do

[pokey840]

I used to have suicidal ideas all the time.  constantly.  I was always trying to figure out the best way.  I knew I dod not really want to kill myself, so I finally told someone, and tried out a few different antidepressants to see which one would stop my suicidal ideation.  Each person is different, so it doesn't matter what I am taking but that if it stops working I will need to find another!  what a relief to finally not have this constant voice telling me to walk into traffic or jump off that bridge, or ingest the cleaning fluid I am using, or any number of sad ideas.

[Xila31]

I also struggle with the suicide demon. When things are bad it is always there waiting to jump at me. It is very scary and something we always much be vigilant against it, everyday. It is our battle.

Suicidal thinking is a symptom of what's happening to us. You're not alone. If you think it's too big for you to handle on your own call  your doctor, go to the ER, evne call a hotline. Don't be alone, call a friend. I kow it's hard to be around people when the dark sets in, but it's better to be with someone. You don't have to fight it alone and it's worth the fight. You say you have kids, so do I. I don't want to leave them like that. I don't want to leave my husband like that. I fight and fight. It is worth the fight. I may have this illness but I won't let it take me.

Be strong, you can fight it and win. Just remember if you're having those thoughts it is good to see your psychiatrist and get things in order. Go to talk therapy, too, that helps a lot with the fight.

[alilsick]

Hi, I am married to a man who suffers alot with this evil illness also.I feel helpless to just not be able to plunge him out of the dark places and thoughts that he goes to alot. 4 days before thanksgiving he made a little mistake that cossed him his job. So on top of his bipolar issue he lost his job, we have been 5 months behind on rent this week our utilities will be getting turned off one by one yes including internet, the only thing that helps me to help him is hearing other peoples story's and how to deal with em sometimes. Christmas is coming up and we have three small children and I cannot fathem what his thoughts are right now feeling responsible as a man everything that we are facing, so I try not to fall into a deep dark place with him. I tell him when those thoughts enter my brain about what are we gonna do how are we gonna make it, this is to hard i cant deal anymore, those tthoughts replay over and over in my head all day from the time I get up till the time I crash out, it will drive you insane all day, the one thing that keeps me from ending it all is my babies, theres one trick that I had learned while I was watching a christian network that helped me and helps me to this day it also helps him. Is when that voice starts in on you is to interupt it, even before that dark voice gets a word in you interupt it with something anything possitive., a sentence a thought a word anything good just interupt it as much as you can, I know it sounds stupid and crazy, but it helps me and him.I tell myself, its only a temporary feeling, I am going to survive thi dark time,I will not let it keep me there in that dark place. The one thing I can do to shut a dark voice in my head is to interupt it, if its going to repeat itself all day with the negative things then Im goimg to be doing alot of interupting until it goes away. I am so sorry that I am not an expert but I just read your question and i couldnt just click out of it, I hope you get a better answer then this, but i had to say that to you. and i pray you will conquer this problem, just as i pray my husband can to. Dont give up your taking a step in the right direction by just posting this question, good luck and i hope i helped you, just even a little bit.

[franky1979]

i have felt like that and i needed medication for a while but i came right over time, i also talked to a profecitional about my problems and the things that were getting me down all the time. winter time and a lack of vitamin D from the sun also seemed to lower my moods. there really is alot of help out there and services that can help you and your kids, good luck i hope you feel better soon