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I have BP2, We think Dad OCD, could that be the genepool connection?

Dad is getting progressively worse, anxiety, his office is his albatrose and my mom''s disabilities seem to be his noose.  We believe he has shown OCD most of his life but being as brilliant and workaholic as he is with a calm, controlled demeanor we did not think about OCD.  First any ideas how to help him get off the rollercoster he is on at 86? He is blaming my Mom for all his actions and stress.  Second, could this be where I have depveloped my BP2?

One other subject.  For the past month I have been off antidepressants under doctors orders and take one valium at night to sleep and one xanax...up to three but need just one...and my lithium.  I feel great.  Just a good season?  Or could I really  be just a lazy, self centered, overcontrolling, fearful, high imagination kinda girl?
zzzmykids
10 Responses
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131829 tn?1249997363
Hi...I know my post is a lil late but I am BP2 also.  I noticed several comments in all the posts that I related to also.  In my teens I started hearing the "bipolar" term.  My mother told me later that my Dad's oldest sister had been diagnosed BP1 and she was contacting all brothers and sisters about her diagnosis cause she felt that some of them may be also.  Over the years it turned out she was right.  My dad was BP2 and one of my uncle's.  Then another uncle and aunt was diagnosed BP1. So out of seven siblings 5 had one type of bipolar followed with another condition.....anxiety/panic or ocd.  I'm not sure about my aunts and uncles but my dad did not get on any medications.  This was not good at all and we could NOT convince him to get help.  This took a toll on my and my family but especially me cause I was a daddy's girl. Over the years he got really depressed and very dark.  In 1997 he committed suicide.  I felt I died that day also and went into a deep dark suicidal depression for 2 months.  My sisted had me committed to the hospital where I stayed for another month and was diagnosed at that time and started my various meds to find which helped stabilize me.  I've been up and down with different medications for the last 12 years but I refuse to go without my medicines.  All of us in here struggle I'm sure day to day and even though we have same diagnosis' we all take various meds.  It is a daily fight.....we can complain and cry but never let it win.  I do hope your family situation gets better.
Helpful - 0
574118 tn?1305135284
>>>Second, could this be where I have depveloped my BP2?

my father has OCD for sure. He washes his hands very frequently, double check everything, counts numbers etc... my previous diagnosis was OCD until under anafranil (tricyclic AD) i turned manic thus dx BP 3 years ago.

Now 1st of all i read once that 18% of OCD turn BP later and mainly BP1. So could be that i inherited the OCD then turned BP1.

2nd that OCD and BP are overlapping in many symptoms or called comorbid in medicine i.e. get along well, i.e. show symptoms together. So my obcessions at the onset of the disease were really psychotic and wrongly dx OCD whereas they should have been BP from start. Nobody can tell and nobody should question this. The important thing is which meds are prescribed. No matter what you have, you are BP1, BP2, ... or BPD it's same meds
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Avatar universal
Hey, thank you for all the good suggestions to everyone.
Opus, my brother is stepping up to the plate a little.  The last visit my husband, dogs and I had with Mom and Dad, he was cantanckerous and Mom was trying to pick polititacal fights.  Dad had placed Mom in a care facility for four days and three nights and he spent the nights there...on the floor at eight five!  He said he needed to get some work done.  We weren't as gracious or accomodating as usual and it seemed like a really fast trip.  So hopefully my brother will be able to be his gentle self and explain as the executor what needs to be happening.
Helpful - 0
874521 tn?1424116797
so glad to hear you are doing so well emotionally zzz.
Its very hard dealing with parents and it surely does take compassion and grace as they age especially, no matter the age they still see us only as the 'children' and they are the 'parent' soooo everything we try to do in their best interests as you know has to be handled very diplomatically in order not to upset the ole apple cart!!
They don't recognize their diminished capacities so become very resentful of what they see as an interferance into their business....
good luck, I went thru all that back in the 90's and it sure was no pleasure..
Their care has been put onto your shoulders perhaps because you are no doubt the sibling who does CARE the most.....your mental disorder doesn't ever make you less brilliant, perhaps it has made you more compassionate and understanding of human frailties, and I see this as a very good quality to have...
bless you
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Avatar universal
It is so good to have a place to be yourself and express concerns w/o the thought of being made fun of or considered weird.  I AM weird, lol.
We will go down Thursday of this week, take our two dogs, both Mom and Dad love them and stay two days, visiting.  My husband will try to help Dad with the taxes but if Dad has to have it a certain way and causes him more stress, my husband will do yard work in 116 degree temps!
You are right, Mom was an anchor.  Though the best organist, pianist and seamstress I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, she got all meals done from scratch and how my Dad liked them. Even ironed the sheets, between tending to three kids, substituting at schools, weddings, funerals, church and teaching all of us how to play card games.
So he lost his "right handman".
Mom can't cook, darn, sew, iron or do anything after three small strokes five years ago.
I think Dad didn't think he would be ending his productive life like this and blames Mom
Will fill you in after the visit.
And...why is it me, the one with a mental disorder, the other two are less brilliant but more competant, why is it me that has to "tell them" like it is...in compassion and grace.
Grrrrrr
zzzmykids
P.S.
Pdoc, said I am the best he has ever seen me emotionally and taking care of myself since he first met me yeah!
Helpful - 0
952564 tn?1268368647
Well, it sounds like your family is having a rough time. Things get hard when illness sets in. I am guessing your mother had been an anchor for your father all of these years, just another steady part in his pattern. And you say now his health is faltering, too, but he doesn't have his familiar patterns as he was used to. It is too bad he is taking everything out on her. I hope he can get some help.

I know a lady whose husband is sinking deeper into Alzheimers, and she is having the same issue except reverse. She is trying to take care of him, but the sweet and loving man he once was is vanishing into a beligerant and emotionally abusive jerk. It is a terrible thing to see happen. :(

Please keep us posted. I hope things get better for them.
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Avatar universal
Thank you both for writing. Yes, I watch Obsessed.  Dad and Mom barely have tv much less cable. Again, he is an only child.  His Mom was the baby of twelve, he was raised in a college president's home with my great grandfather being very strict and a great impression on my Dad.  My grandfather and grandmother were divorced after she took my dad away Christmas Eve when he was three.  His father married the secretary that he was having the affair with and Dad was completely let go.  He got to see his father and step brother and cousins after he was about forty.  He has always tried to be perfect and do everything during the day just right.  Now he sees Mom as a way that he can no longer do his "work" and instead of lightening the load of work...he writes a column twice a month and has given up every activity but his office, including his childhood friends to be with Mom.  Now his health is failing.  We believe it is ocd because of the pattern and since the pattern is crumbling, everything done perfectly and all in order he is becoming abusive verbally with our Mother.
I have been on lithium for over ten years.  It's the antidepressants that begin to lose effect after a year or so, but this new brand the class 1's? or is the new ones 2's.  Anyway the side effects are horrible.  The last one made me suicidal.  I have been suicidal just once, thoughts sure but this was thinking and writing bizarre poetry.
Just ranting and venting.  Hopefully Dad won't have a breakdown and that Mom can handle the care facillity Dad places her in for three to five days.
Again, thanks for listening.
zzzmykids
Helpful - 0
952564 tn?1268368647
Hey I've been doing some research this morning due to having been allergic to my meds. I happened to come across this article, which is blessedly short, on BP2.

It actually says in here that 50% of the time there is not clear reason why a person develops BP2, (i.e. not sign of family history.) It also says that people with BP2 can be higher functioning comparatively in both manic and depressive episodes. There are a bunch of other links at the bottom, I didn't check them all out yet. But I found it interesting and thought of your question. Maybe bring this up to your doctor?

http://organizedwisdom.com/Bipolar_II

Now I have a question for my doctor because I read BP2 has no instances of delusions, which is psychotic features causing it to be BP1. So what about when I hear phones ringing? Isn't that a delusion? But I know I am high functioning comparatively. Just more questions, I guess.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I have BP2 along with obsessive compulsive behavior (not full blown OCD) along with anxiety disorder.  I've always heard that mental illnesses run in family but I never really believed it.  I have a cousin that is BP, but that's about it.  Last year in September my great-grandmother died and EVERYONE got together for her funeral, and I ended up meeting all of my mother's cousins and their children.  It turns out that a majority of them have some form of BP or anxiety disorder and OCD runs rampant.  Another interesting thing that I discovered is that a majority of them are on Lamictal which is what I have been taking as a mood stabilizer for about 4 years now.  I'm 26 and I've been taking medication for my problems since I was 17, and Lamictal was the first mood stabilizer whose side effects I could stomach.

Not only was it interesting to find that so many people from my family have the same thing but it was interesting that pretty much the only medication that has helped me is the only one that helps them as well.

About the Lithium - I've been told by my psychologist that there are sometimes people who could be on a boatload of medication and then they switch to Lithium only and the smallest dose can make a world of difference.  That's why in the past its been considered the "miracle" bipolar disorder drug.  It's definitely different for everyone, but i say if you're feeling good taking the Xanax and the Lithium, KEEP DOING IT!  Even if it is just a good season, it's a good opportunity to keep the medication in your system level so when something really stressful does come up, your brain will stable enough to deal with it.
Helpful - 0
952564 tn?1268368647
I think the only way past OCD is therapy. I watch that show on A&E called Obsessed. It is all about people being treated for different types of OCD issues. Of course you dad will have to want to go to therapy. OCD and bipolar seem to have some connection, but it is hard to say if that is a genetic link.

I too am unsure of where in my family line the BP is coming from. My dad had some terrible moods all my life but he also had uncontroled diabetes which can lead to mood swings, so I can't say. My mom was a very jittery person. She would sit and just move her legs all the time like she was having anxiety. Despite that she was a very confident woman, but I don't really remember if she had depression or anything. Plus she had cancer, so if she was depressed of course she would have been. >.>  I have an aunt who had some issues as a teen, not sure about what, though. Plus my grandmother's father was an unnamed person. (She was born out of wedlock.) So who knows any of history? We don't even know his name! Otherwise I don't know my family was really hush-hush when it came to moods and feelings. I was always the "over sensative" one. >.>

I don't know if bipolar skips generations or not. But, I would say that if the meds are making you feel better then you are not just lazy, self-centered, over controling, fearful, high imagination. If that were true then no meds would make you change and feel better.

I hope you can work it out with your dad.
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