My daughter hits, kicks, mocks, spits, and his angry all of the time!!

[richmom_not]

My nine year old is the middle child of an older sister (15) and a younger brother (8).  She was abused by her baby sitter at the age of four months, and her father has been in and out of her life.  He got involved with her life on a more frequent basis from 2009-2011, but the day after Thanksgiving their father left town, and has not seen them sense.
HELP, HOW DO I GET MY 9 YEAR OLD TO TALK TO A THEREAPIST?  SHE HAS MAJOR ANGER ISSUES, AND MOOD SWINGS, THAT ARE DESTROYING my life, and her brother and sisters!!!

I cant take this anymore, and I have been dealing with it for as long as I can remember.  On her first day of Kindergarten, she wouldn't get out of the car.  Literally, would not go!!!!  I had the principles assistant at the car, and finally they agreed for her to try again the next day…….

I problem is that she is very angry!!!  Violent at times, punches, kicks, throws things, and appears mad at the world.  She says she hates her little brother and that he is the reason she is so mad.  I cant leave her for five minutes, but then when I take her to store or something with me, she throws a fit because it is to hot, she cant buy something, ECT.   Tonight, I kept asking her to stop kicking her brother, an d then she kicked him across the room, the whole time while I am trying to fix the tv., as she is telling me I cant fix it, and I am stupid, ECT.   Then after I punish her, she spits all over my bed and her brothers.??  She mocks me, and is just down right disrespectful!!!!  H
eLP , does anyone have any ideas as to what is wrong, my other two do not act this way.  
How do I get a child to talk to a therapist, if she will not talk to me or anyone else???

[tbiM20]

It might be best for you to go to the therapist first. Have a session, sit down and explain your concerns, your fears, how you think therapy sessions will benefit your daughter, etc. Give the therapist an idea of what the scenario is, from your perspective and so they will be better prepared. This is also a good way for you to test out the therapist, and see if their methods match your family.

Then, discuss with them how the first session might go, how to keep it a positive experience for you and your daughter, etc. They may even suggest having a group session with all four of you, one-on-one between you and your daughter, etc. They may even recommend some changes to your parenting methods. The best way to approach this is to keep an open, positive mind: you aren't sending your daughter to "get fixed", there's nothing "wrong" with her; try approaching it as an experience for mutual bonding and understanding.

[lindahand]

Have you tried taking her to a session - the therapists are pretty skilled with difficult kids and you may be surprised. My understanding is they do things like colour pictures and stuff like that to earn the trust, and then ask the questions they need to. So she may even find it fun, and like the one on one adult attention.

I had a nephew that was a real problem and he liked his therapist. He ended up have a few weeks stay at a kids psyc ward which was difficult but helped stabilize him on some medications. He would have violent outbursts, to the point they were worried about the safety of the kids in the class room. Not saying your kid needs medications - just saying that the therapy process can be a positive one for kids.