How do I tell him the reason why his daughter hates him?

[breakingapart]

Okay, so the daughter of the man who raised me has been a ***** to me, but he has been cruel to his own kid. I was God-knows-how-old and I think she was 11 or 13. I was trying out some saltwater taffy when I saw her and her father together in the hallway. He was pouring water on her, she was screaming at him to stop. They went downstairs. I went down there to get a glass of water to get that taste of disgusting taffy out of my mouth and when I was down there, I saw him pour the water on her face. She spat it out, and it his toe. He freaked out and screamed to his wife, 'She spat at me in the eye!' Then he made her clean up the water on the floor and when he came back down stairs he spat on her. In the eye. He told her she deserved it because she spat him in the eye.

She hasn't talked to him in five months. I don't even think he realized that she hates him. I know she hates him because when she was over the last time, she told me so herself. I think this may be the reason why she hates him so much. How do I tell him though? How do I tell him this?

[paranoid_cataclysm]

I think she needs to confront him with it herself when she's ready.  Even through a letter like ILADVOCATE said will do.  That might not work though because like in my example my mother did something extremely traumatic to me to where I got PTSD from it apparently and I had let it go all these years even though I've been reliving it and cannot stand to be around babies anymore because of it until my sister told me something about it that set me off so I sent my mother an email confronting her on it and saying I never wanted to see her or talk to her again and instead of saying sorry to me she told people me and my sister were accusing her of things that never happened and then next time I saw her she acted like I never even sent her the email.  I think at the very least she could of said sorry for causing me to get PTSD and I can't confront her face to face because she tends to interrupt every single thing I try to say.  I'm going to also say good luck to you and hopefully the situation doesn't turn out like mine did because now it's just really awkward.

[freebird227]

Key note " the man that raised me" puts him in somewhat of a position of some form of honor. This must be confusing to you also having mixed emotions over the man.
Making a decision to do nothing about what his daughter said to you  IS doing something
You are chosing to put your welfare first----where it should be. Give time some time and if or when the time to say something comes up---you'll know exactly what to do.
     Good luck and think things through.

[Xila31]

I agree with IL, it is not something you should worry about right now. It sounds like his daughter lives somewhere else? But whatever you do, don't bring this up. You say he doesn't know, so don't tell him now. You live in a very fragile world right now. She is doing what you will need to do, get out and get away. But right now, just think about survival. As my mom would have said, "don't poke the bear."

[ILADVOCATE]

Because he is abusive I would not tell him anything now. When you are able to move out you can tell him with a letter but I would move to a safe place where he doesn't know where you live. I have seen parents who were emotionally abusive become physically abusive. You have a right to tell him that with the other person's permission but disconnect from him first because you don't know what reaction it will set off.