Could these be signs of depression or something else

[Wolf45]

When I came home from the last tumor removal attempt, every morning my wife would have my breakfast ready for me and I really liked and appreciated it.  I wanted to regain as much independence for myself as possible, so I began making my own meals, dressing myself etc.  With less than optimistic reports from my neurosurgeon ranging from never regaining the amount of sight I had lost, to left sided weakness from a stroke from my first tumor removal and a recent MRI CT report showing residual tumor, that the surgeon said has the possibility of regrowth.  That he recommends getting checked once a year and could be taken care of with radiation if need be.

My short term memoryloss was getting better, more recently now, I would say about a little over a month I have noticed that my short term memory has gone back to the way it was right after the operation.  I still get moderate to severe headaches that my neurosurgeon blames on the shunt that he had some other doctors insert through my spine and around my stomach and inserted into my right stomach wall to let out the built up spinal fluid.  I should note that at least three shunts failed  because the body rejected them because they were foreign to it.  After months  of battling these quite severe headaches and complaining  to the surgeon, he sent me for another MRI or CT and said he saw nothing wrong.

The neurosurgeon said that he truly believes the headaches are being caused by the shunt and recommends opening back up the incision and attaching a valve to the shunt to regulate the flow of spinal fluid being drawn out.  I told him that I needed time to consider this.  I've been through so many operations in 2008 with complications, I felt that if I went back under the knife again so soon, that I would surely die and my neuroptholmologist agreed.  I keep losing interest in things I use to love doing.  I no longer have helth coverage since my company terminated me due to the extent of my injuries.  While I was still insured, I had gone to a neuropsychologist who gave me a four hour evaluation and told me at our next session that I am also suffering from post traumatic stress disorder.  I don't know what to do and whats worse is that I don't think I even care what happens next.
Thanks for listening,

Kerry

[Wolf45]

Thank you, I'm sorry you developed another disease.  I'll keep you in my prayers.  I have tried applying for permanent disability and I keep getting that bureaucratic run around and I checked with my local social security office about getting SSI and was told I did'nt qualify.  I'm married with two teen age daughters, I can't see why I would'nt qualify for some sort of assistance.  It kills me that I can't work and I have to deal with people who could care less.

I hope that this new year brings you better health and gets you back to the way you were.

Kerry

[rumpled]

Kerry,
There is depression for no reason and there is depression for a reason. I think any reasonable person would understand why you are not cheery at this point.

The fact that you realize this is good, to my thinking at least. You are aware and know it. So when you feel you can, you can take the steps to move out of it.

My situation was not as dire as yours but sort of similar. I had a career and then lost my job and benefits after I did not recover from a surgery. I cried for days. My husband was not sure what to do with me but I kind of just needed to get it out of my system. I still am not exactly the same as I was, but I fought to get SSDI and got some benefits from my company for LTDI.

I am still sick and developed another disease and trying to find out what it is - and it makes it hard to do anything - even walk for more than 20min.

Have you looked into any state programs to help you?
Jennifer