Putting cat down this week (today/tomorrow?) What to expect.

[maybebaby29]

I've never gone through this in person. When I was younger my parents took care of my dog and put her down without me being there. But now that my husband's cat is in full blown renal failure (she hasn't eaten in 3 days, we've been doing sub cue IV every 3 days, she's stopped urinating), we know it's time.

I'm going through a lot of death issues lately and today I'm in a full blown panic attack with this news.

Mom has terminal cancer which may have spread to the brain.
Dad is having mysterious fainting spells. Heart attack? Stroke? On top of blood in the urine. Defiantely BPH but possibly prostate cancer.

Both are past 80s so it's just time. Same with the cat. She's 17, chronic renal failure, hypothyroid. She's had a good life.

All of this life coming to a full circle has just put me in a major panic attack today and I just don't know how to handle any of it. It's triggering a lot of issues for me including flashbacks of when our son was deathly ill/we thought he was stillborn.

How does one deal with all of this? My husband wants me to be there when the vet (his ex boss and long time friend) puts the cat down. I don't know if I can see this happen. I feel like such a coward but honestly, I just can't handle people dying in front of me.

[Piparskeggr]

Good evening;

This is one of the hardest duties we face as pet owners.

Our kitty, Cerridwen, went into massive organ failure, we got her to the emergency vet, but a few hours later they called and said there was no hope.  It was 2 in the morning, we went to be with her at the end.

She was one of the sweetest critters you'd ever hope to have share your life, my wife and I cried as I held Cerridwen with my wife carressing her, as the vet gave her the Final Grace.  Cerridwen was about 15 or 16; we had rescued her and were unsure of exact age, but she had 11 good years with us.

Our kitty Calamity Jane, we got her and sister Queen Victoria in Feb 1983 from the owner of momma and poppa cat.  Victoria died in her sleep at age 17 1/2.  Cammie was 21 years 4 months when a pair of strokes laid her low and we decided it was time.

She was lovingly ornery, my wife's bestest buddy.  Cammie loved to take long walks (harnessed trained) and man could she jump, even at 19 or 20 she could still make it up to the back of the couch without needing to jump on the sitting area first.

Cammie let us pet her at the end, but did not want to be held.  She sat up on the examination table at the vet's, wobbly, but dignified.  She let the vet hold her paw and administer the injection.  She kept her eyes open afterwards, still not wanting to miss anything I guess, Vet had to super-glue her eyes shut.

It is hard, but the memories of the companionship, even though this was more your hubbie's cat, still last.  You'll find something around the house, which will trigger a smile about kitty, for years afterwards, trust me...I still find things belonging to Victoria (Yeah, we don;t move the big pieces of furniture that often ,-)  )

[maybebaby29]

@opus. Oh we both know what state she's in. The not eating and not passing urine. We KNOW this is it and we need to make the arrangement today/tomorrow. This is more DH's cat (he had her 7 years before we met). He's just so incredibly sad today. But I told him you know, she's meowing non stop. That's just not good. He said he knows it but he's just a ball of emotion (mostly anger/sadness into one) that he's just having a hard time picking up the phone. He used to work for our vet so he and the cat know our vet for a while now (17 years) so she's kind of whelled up about it too. Just sad. This is why my husband got out of the vet tech business--too much pain.

Our son, who is 2, really likes this cat so we need to tell him that the cat is with our other cat (who is at a different home) on vacation at the beach. He doesn't understand death, etc. and gets extremely emotional about sickness/sadness so we think at his age, it's best to do a white lie for now. Our 15 year old dog is our next worry (age-wise) and he loves her too. It's hard on everyone.

For support for me, unfortunately I feel not really. My best friend and I have similar lives (minus parents health) but she just put her cat down, has marriage issues, etc. so she gets it. My DH understands but at the same time, my parenst and him don't get along so he can't grieve with me. But he said since his own father died 15 years ago, he can say he understands the pain.

I don't know. I just feel very alone and scared right now with all of this. I'm 40, have a 2 year old, now all of this death around me, it's just so scary to see. I told my husband I think after my parents go what I need is a huge life change and do something for myself, which means pick up and move out of state.

Ok I'm rambling here. Just venting. Thank you for your response/support.

[opus88]

I too am so sorry for everything you now are facing, whether it be family or our loved pets its extremely stressful to see them failing. I too was there with my mom through terminal cancer, lost both parents within 2 months of one another. I worked for 20 years in palliative care and was with 100's of people in their last hours but its much much harder to deal with death when its your own loved ones. I hope you have alot of support right now.

And I too have had to make that final call on pets that I've had, its heart breaking but as Linda said we all have to face this as responsible pet owners eventually. She is 17 so has had a long and life and loving home, she knows she is loved. You've been a good parent.

If your not able to face going in with her at this time I think she will understand, honey you can only do as much as you are able to do, you have alot on your shoulders right now.
If possible to be with her thats wonderful, the euthanasia process is very quick and painless, she will just fall asleep in your arms.
I do suggest you don't put this off for later this week.....with renal failure and the inability to pass urine, she is now in a great deal of pain and needs immediate attention. Please don't allow her to suffer for a few more days hon.
You are both in my thoughts and prayers♥

[maybebaby29]

Thanks. I was always good at avoiding seeing people die until now. It's just a bit much.

[LindaTX]

I am so sorry about all you are going through.  I've lost both my parents.  And a few yrs ago I was taking my 16 yr ols cat to the Vet to be put down and he passed away right there beside me in the car.  It was very peaceful and I'm glad it did happen that way.  But you have to know you are doing the right thing and she will be in a better place. Eventually, everyone who has pets has to deal with this so you will see a lot of support and sympathy on here.  God Bless!