Should i get rid of my cat?

[Mildly_Confused]

I have had my female cat for 10 years now. 2 years ago i became a mom. Although my male cat has warmed up to my son, my female cat still refuses to have anything to do with him. She seems scared of him. I've tried introducing them and encouraging him to pet her softly so she might warm up to the idea, but nothing seems to work. She hides in my room all day and i rarely see her unless my son is asleep. My son loves animals and is great with both our dog and other cat. My question is, after 2 years of zero progress on the subject, would it be in the best interest to get rid of my cat? The reasons i dont want to get rid of her are because she is very close to our male cat, i've had her for 10 years, and there are so many cats in need of good homes it is hard to find a good match. The reason i consider it is because i fear that she is unhappy. It seems unhealthy to hide away all day.

[LivingInHope]

My sister had a male cat who was afraid and would always want to be in another room hiding out when company came over.  My nephew would bring him out so we could see him.  But that skittish cat had a special bond of friendship with the very sociable female cat and they kept each other company.  Cats can grieve over loss, so not only would your female cat grieve over the loss of your male cat's companionship, but so too would your male cat grieve over the loss of the company of your female cat.

I can tell you care about the best interests of your cat, even loving her enough to give her up, if that would be best for her.  But I think it would be a hardship not only on you with your bond to her, but on her as well to leave you, the male companion cat and the comfort of her familiar domain, even if that domain is dominished most of the time.  And who knows, perhaps if your child and your cat grow older together, the cat will eventually lose her aversion to your son too!

[opus88]

Hi and welcome to our forum, thats a touch situation to be in......I agree 2 yrs is along time, but there are very few ppl willing to take in an older kitty, in fact almost no one does...and I do hope you aren't considering a shelter.
Babies are a change in the household and their also noisy, this is undoubtedly spooking your kitty...perhaps they will never be close, but as you say its not good she should have to hide away all the time either..
Was she ever hurt somehow by a young child? Someone visiting your home or does she go outdoors?

I would recommend first off to get kitty a Vet checkup to rule out anything medically that could be making her go into hiding like that.
He can also give you a spray diffuser to put in your home, its called FELIWAY, also avail in a cat collar. This works to calm kitty and perhaps would be all she needs...many use this for similar reasons...its not dangerous to use but isnt' always effective.(also avail on Amazon)
Also 'as a last resort' there are medications he can prescribe, that will help reduce her fears....I am not in favor of using medications usually, however there are times when its warranted....  and I would far favor this than the alternative of getting rid of the poor kitty, if she's this terrified of just a new baby...imagine how terrified she would be of a total new home?
Give her lots of extra love and encouragement, she feels safe in her hiding spot....and NO I wouldn't interrupt her home...

please continue to post and let us know how this works its way out....sending you and miss kitty the best of wishes..

[nancyjac]

I really don't see a problem.  She seems to be happy staying away from your son.  Some cats, especially older ones just don't like having to deal with a lot of activity, noise, commotion, etc. so they just back away from it.  Doesn't mean they are unhappy, just not interested.  I have a 12 year old cat and 2 much younger cats.  The older cat would just as soon spend most of the day napping on a chair under the dining room table and she is quite content to stay out of the traffic pattern of the two younger cats who are much more playful and active.  I would just give her her space and stop trying to force her and your son together. Since you have a dog and another cat that are more tolerant of a toddler, he still has ample opportunity to learn about animals and enjoy their company.