Have a very personal question.....

[rmlyonsfamily]

I'm not the one with the Chiari...  hubby is.  The hardest thing has been how it's affected our - usually very active - sex life.  But the last several times it's been miserable afterwards for him and into the next day really can't function well.  Sometimes he passes out totally!  Other times he gets an absolutely debilitating headache that sets him back for hours.  I have stopped initiating anything because I don't want to hurt him.....  So - obviously - it's been a while.  Last night he initiated....  afterwards he had the debilitating headache, had trouble speaking, and couldn't get out of bed because he was soooo dizzy and hazy.  

Today he's just been frustrated.  He went to work and sent me a text mid day that he had quite an episode of rage that scared him, and two of his employees witnessed it.  

How do those of you with chiari handle this?  Or if you're like me, and a spouse, how do cope??

[Viva001]

I hope this improves for you post op.
For awhile, orgasms were causing painful spasms, so that's a sex drive killer right there.  For several years, I've had no drive at all.  Maybe I'm just old.
My NS asks many questions in this regard, as important as urinary or digestive health.
I'm just 3 wk post op, so we'll see...

[irislita]

is ur hubby scheduled for surgery? I am so sorry for him and u...its very difficult sometimes to live with diseases for a couple. I can only tell u that no one with chronic pain is really in the mood to make love. it must be frustrating.I think its good u dont pressure him and give him support. I hope he will get treatment and relief...as the additional pressure of just managing normal things of life is hard for people with dideases and makes u feel useless. I am really mentally suffering from my disease and pain...I think I am not worth anything and sometimes isolate myself. we are here for u and ask and vent as much as u like...again sooo sorry

[selmaS]

  Well as I said many times, Chiari is life altering as it changes all aspects of ones life...and I know we have a few that can go and do the same things as b4, but there r enuff of us who can not.

It is not a lack of trying, or wanting, it is our body not allowing it.

I think each couple will have to find new ways to be intimate that will allow the one with chiari to not have the pain later...it is the strain, like doing ne physical activity will cause pain....once he is recovered from surgery u may find this an easier thing to deal with,.