need to vent

[Sexybare]

I dont know what to do anymore. I am always in a bad mood because no one understands that im in some sort of pain everyday. Im tired of people expecting things from me all the time   regardless of how i feel. I think my relationship os on the line because he just dont get it. Dont think he ever will. Not to mention hes my supervisor at work. Watchef me struggle in pain and dont even try to help. Im sure he could talk to his boss and see of theres some other job there for me for now.  But no. Not to mention it was trash day today and i had to get up to do it because no one else does. My mpm and my oldest son help me out tho. Im sorry to say all of this but im at my wits end. The person i thought i could count on during and after my surgery. I cant. I do laundry all the time. Which all chiarians know thats a task alone now. If i dont cook dinner we eat fast food. I had to go back to work because bills werent hetting paid by his income alone. And it ended me up in the er. Mon is work and i have no idea how im gonna do it. I know i dont look sick but dang it i am. I am slowlyy pushing people away because of my attitude lately. I just dont know how to deal with chiari anymore.

[Sexybare]

Thank you. Im gonna try work tomorow. If i cant do it im not staying. I will not suffer like last week. I will post tomorow and let everyone know. Did i mention i love this forum. Everyone on here is so great.

[linnielou232]

I know how you are feeling right now.  I think we all have these day's.  Not having a partner that understand's has to be difficult.  I know you mentioned he was going to the dr. with you for an appt.  did that happen and how did it go.  I also wish I could help you in some way with your chores because it is difficult to do it all on your own.  Have you tried to ask your partner for help.  I know for myself before having the symptoms of chairi I did every thing around the house because I enjoyed it.  Now I don't hesitate to ask for help because even you know it is you who will suffer if you don't ask for help.  You will be in my prayers of the heart tomorrow as you try the work thing again.  My heart goes out to you, because I know I have many of day's you don't know what to do because of the pain we endure.  Just take one day at a time.  I had some man complain one day that his wife did wash his jean's.  I replied. "Don't you know how to use a washer"?  I'll show you.  His wife said he started to help with the laundry.  It's excepting change that is a difficult one for us all.  We have to be thankful for the thing's we CAN do and except the thing's we no longer can do.  I'm here for you if it is just to listen, and I do understand.  Just take a deep breath, and try to relax.  Your worth it.

[lu7997]

Hugs.      I know how you feel.  I have posted similar things so many times.   Venting helps.   I wish I could come cook u dinner and take you trash out for you.     : (.    

[Rylanesmom]

Praying for you!

[momof3gr8kids]

Hi, there!  Hang in there.  I know what you mean that you don't look sick but you are.  It's really frustrating!  Take it one moment at a time and know that we understand how you feel.

[selmaS]

  I hear u on that too, we have come to the conclusion that we go thru stages of recovery post op, and it is like a death or loss....and u deny, u get angry, and u grieve....and u do move on.....

  Chiari is life altering, and we have to adjust, it may not be fair, but we don't get more then we can handle, even tho it may feel that way at times, and we r stronger then those without chiari...it just takes time and patience till u get ur footing.

[Sexybare]

I guess my problem is im angry with myself for having chiari. I think...why me. Why cant i live a normal life like everyone else. So i take it out on others who dont understand. Im stuck  in a rut and cant quite figire out how to crawl out. Thank you for your words of encouragement. I know i can count on you. Bless you :)

[selmaS]

  Hi...I am so sorry u r going thru this...but, I do know how u feel....and know u r not alone.

Too many of us have found it extremely difficult to do daily tasks let alone go back to work, lifting is a big no no and especially in early stages of recovery....u r still in the early stages.

Not having a partner that understands and helps is not one that I know, as mine does...but b4 I got my DX I felt the same as u, only  I had no idea what was going on....but I knew I could not do things the way I should have been able to...and my DH did not understand....

Once I got my dx tho, all the pieces of the puzzle came together and he understood...and I have an advocate and help.

My DD also now knows y she had to help all those yrs...it makes sense ....and she helps without me having to ask....

I did push people away too, and still do to a point as I just do not have it in me to  always explain how I am feeling or what I can or can not do......it gets old for me too....

I know u r frustrated and feel let down....but, u need to find a way to talk to ur partner with out pushing him away...u need an ally and u need to help him understand...we can not expect our family and friends to get this...as I said many times there r Drs out there that don't get it and would expect u to go back to work and not understand y u r having these issues...

  Hang in there

   "selma"