my 6 year old and anxiety

[helpmommy1020]

My six year old has been treated for ADHD and Anxiety for the past year. He is diagnosed with Developemental dealy with social skills,behavoir,anxiety issues. He has been on Vivanse,Ritalin,Tennex,Focalin and right now Intuniv along with a low dose of Metadate nothing has helped in fact I think it makes the situation worse.
It is his way or no way, everyone is looking at me , don't laugh at me and so on..... I can not take any more I see no light at the end of the tunnel
He has a hard time at school as he fusses with the other children and teachers he does not want to do what is asked of him. The other children speak to him he gets mad about it and tells them to leave him alone when I catch him being ugly like that he will tell me they are being mean to him they are looking at him he does not like them.
He is very bright he picks up and learns quickly however batteling the problems he has is holding him back. we run to the doctor every month I have tried everything I can think of , the 123 magic approach and all. I am to the point I do not know were to turn anymore. What else can I do or try I am open to anything.

[specialmom]

I just wanted to say that one thing that I've learned is that anxiety is often comorbid to adhd/add and sensory integration disorder. By treating the add/adhd and sensory issues, anxiety often becomes much better.  This was the case with my son.  I guess it is the chicken with the egg thing-------- which to treat first.

But, you have to have a proper diagnosis to treat at all.  Kids below 6 are so variable and an add/adhd diagnosis is hard to make until after that time.  My practice would not do it until the earliest of age 6.  I'd consider a good child psychiatrist and an occupational therapist to get to the root of the problem.  good luck

[jdtm]

One question - how severe is your son's anxiety?  Often anxiety can mimic the behaviours of ADD/ADHD and it is not unusual for a child with anxiety to be misdiagnosed with one or both of these issues.  Our child was diagnosed with severe anxiety (and this diagnosis is correct) and then later, it was thought that she also suffered from ADD/ADHD (she was so hyper and active and unable to concentrate and learn or behave appropriately - this diagnosis was wrong).  These are also behaviours of anxiety in some children and often misdiagnosed.  Social skills tend to be immature and slow for children suffering from anxiety and school is also very difficult for them.

I googled all of the medications you listed as I was not familiar with some of them.  They are all for ADHD or ADD and not one is for anxiety.  I'm wondering - is the reason your son is not responding to the medication because it is the wrong medication for the wrong diagnosis?  I'm wondering - does your son indeed suffer from ADHD?  A question I might ask the doctor (in fact, I might even want a second opinion)  ....

[specialmom]

Well, if your child has a developmental delay and anxiety, some of the usual discipline and teaching methods used in children may not work.  

Just an idea, have you ever thought of occupational therapy?  My son has sensory integration disorder and we do occupational therapy once a week.  Sensory is very similar to adhd in that they both affect the nervous system and can look a lot alike.  Medication does not work for sensory though and occupational therapy is the way it is treated.  They work through play on things that have direct impact on the nervous system and then they work on behavioral issues and life skills.  We've had a lot of luck with it.  My boy was diagnosed at 4 and is now 6.5 and going into the first grade.  He had a lot of issues in preschool but had a near perfect year in kindergarten last year.  I believe the occupational therapy and all that we do at home has significantly helped.  And often, anxiety goes hand and hand with sensory integration disorder.  As we treated his sensory issues, his anxiety got much better.  Your son's low self esteem makes me sad and I'm sure you are concerned about it.  

My son also has social skill issues and we worked on these with his ot.  We played games to understand personal space, voice volume, the two way of conversation, how to listen to friends, how to be a good friend, taking turns, being fair, etc.  I can go through some of those if you think they would help.  I would try to help him socialize by getting to know another mom with a son and set up a play date at a park.  And then  you facilitate the play and help him along.  Take him places around other kids a lot just so that he gets more adept at being with kids and you are there to help out.  

Does he not do what the teacher asks because it is difficult for him?  For example, my son is very very smart------ but has some fine motor issues.  So, he'd avoid any activities that had coloring, writing, etc. involved.  It was hard for him so he didn't want to do it.  Also, is your son understanding the instruction? Again, this is not a question about his IQ but a question regarding his processing.

Physical activity and what they call heavy work are a big part of helping sensory issues.  I have lots of games to try if you think it would help.  Please google sensory integration disorder and see if it matches at all.  good luck