my 3yr old son

[sillman]

Hi im a mother of six boys and i know all kids are different.my six yr old has been statmented with his school and the gp has said he has mental delays,but i knew he had problems from a young age and no one would listen to me.now i have problems with my 3yr old he wont eat for me he doesnt sleep he rocks back and forth he is constantly running around like a dog chases his tail screams makes strange noises,he throws objects at usHe,s aggressive and hits me and him self , he needs constant attention he runs off from me all the time he runs into on comming cars and i know he doesnt understand the dangers.The first few weeks of pre school he screamed the place down wouldnt interact wiv kids or teachers he also threw chairs the teachers said to just let him be as if u try to help he gets worse,just like he does at home.i dread leaving the house as every day even going to the shop is a night mare doctors say its just his age and he will grow out of it,they tell me he has to be refured by the school but they say hes not as bad as he first was but at home its just getting worse and i cant cope with it any more can anyone please help me.thanks

[lrrn3k]

I feel your pain. I have 3 boys ages 7, 4, and 2. My 4 yr old is a different sort of child. He acts out like that and has tantrums over the smallest things. He has always been the sort that will whine and throw a fit verses using his words. He did not learn this from his older brother who NEVER acted like that. I don't feel that this is just a behavioral issue. My 4 yr old started preschool this year and they seem to think that with some of his manorism and how he handles things that he may be borderline autistic. He is very intelligent and is developing mentally exceedingly well. He does not have any issues with learning. His problem is his social skills...they are just refusing to develop. A lot of what you have mentioned that he does I pointed out to doctors and they told me the same thing...that he was just a normal kid, but now that he is in school and somebody else is able to be with him for extended periods of time they are starting to see it too. I don't have any words of comfort other than hang in there and hopefully you can find someone that will take the time to sit down and actually watch your son and help you figure out what could be the issue. My youngest also wants to copy my middle sons behavior and I have to stay on top of both of them. I find that after a cooling down period with my son instead of having to come to me I go to him and get down on his level and I have a conversation with him where I don't talk to him like he is a baby, I talk to him like he is a human and I let him know that what he has done is completely unacceptable and that if he wants to act that way then he will not be permitted to be in the same room as anybody else because he can not be allowed to hurt others. I have also found that if he bites or pinches one of his brothers is I, in return do the same thing, but with a lot less force (just enough that he feels it, not enough to leave any marks or even redness) that he has a tendancy to remember what that feels like and he will avoid using that when he is angry at least for a while. Good luck and I wish you the best with this situation. I myself have a lot of the same issues and don't let somebody make you feel like it is because of your parenting skills. You have 3 older kids that do not act that way so if something was wrong with your parenting skills then your 3 older sons would act like that as well. Just try to make sure to enforce with the one with the issue and the 2 younger siblings as well that this behavior is absolutely unacceptable and that under no circumstance will it ever be acceptable and stick with it! It's exhausting, but I believe that even most forms of autism can be corrected with love and guidance verses medicine. I have a nephew that was diagnosed with autism and they have him on medicine and he isn't showing anymore improvement than my son. I wish you well!

[margypops]

I know it cant be easy , ask their Dad to make an effort work or not to help you, sometimes a Dad laying down some rules can work wonders.Keep the younger one away from the others more dont let them rough house ,it does affect younger children and can cause them to lash out in frustration which he is doing.Get a handle on the older ones and the young one may do better .Just try it .

[sillman]

They dad is gud but they dnt listen he works a lot to so really its just me ,on days off we take kids out and do thing as a family in the house I play games with them and try to keep them entertained my son will still react the way he does for no reason. Ty u all for yr in put

[sillman]

They dad is gud but they dnt listen he works a lot to so really its just me ,on days off we take kids out and do thing as a family in the house I play games with them and try to keep them entertained my son will still react the way he does for no reason. Ty u all for yr in put

[margypops]

Maybe Dad could help with them, possibly the older children, do they have sports and games, I still feel the youngest with the behavioral problem is copying and has learned the behavior and is now acting out ,he is doing what has been done to him ..

[sillman]

I'm still with the dad and thanks all for yr comments

[allmymarbles]

Where is there father in all this?

[margypops]

exactly and he has learned it from the older ones ,it will continue until you get a handle on the whole issue not just focus on him being the culprit. I feel some family counselling may help you all cope .good luck

[sillman]

the other problem we now have to is the fact the other two youngest are trying to copy what he does.

[sillman]

sorry his brothers do mess around as kids do but none of my other children are like this they have never hit me or other people he head butts me bites and i can not do anything with him.i  have time out which i even do with the oldest and he will go out there he wont come back in the room unless i say but he will punch kick scream once he calm i give him a bit let him back in the five min later we start all over again.

[margypops]

I meant how do they behave towards him, do they show any aggression , or have they done so he may be copying, the dynamics are wrong here,3 year old's don't in my opinion start lashing out like this for no reason .Something is upsetting him ..I think another  visit to the doctor is in order to find out whats going on with him.

[sillman]

He doest get on with them the oldest three are afraid of him becoz of his temper he will bite kick punch throw things.he likes to play on his own and anyone get in his way of anything he loses it big time.

[margypops]

How does he get on with the other siblings are they kind, do they treat each other well?