My daughter has always been a pretty good sleeper. She has always slept ALOT naps and at nighttime, and she was always the most comfortable putting herself to sleep, we would put her in her crib/bed awake and would go to sleep, sometimes waking during the night, but always going immediately back to sleep. She has been in her toddler bed for a year, which was an easy transition, and all of a sudden one night a week ago, refused to go to sleep. She began crying and became hysterical, refusing to stay in her room even. (She would NEVER leave her room, and always call for us). We would calmly tell her she needed to stay in her room, which she would and she would go to sleep after about a half hour. All of a sudden, 2 nights after this started the hysterics got really bad, and she completely refused to stay in her room, coming up well over 5 times. We attempted to put a gate up, which she completely freaked out about, started pulling at her hair, banging her head, etc. We took the gate down as it seemed to increase teh anxiety, however now she automatically assumes it's up and freaks out. Last MOnday night after 5 hours of hysterics and continuously putting her back in her bed, (it was now after midnight) I told her I would sit with her, but she needed to sleep in her new big girl room, which wasn't ready for her, but there was a twin bed I could lay with her in instead of a toddler bed. She readily complied, and I was up for sleep after 2 nights of this. Needlesst say she was up almost all night long. The next day, she slept during nap in her new room without incident or issue, that night again was another round of screaming and hysterics looking petrified again like she did in her old room, and refusing to stay in bed, not letting us close the door (she has always slept with the door closed). the only way to get her to sleep was to lay with her or by her. AFter she would fall asleep, hours later, I or my hubby would go back in our room, inevitable she would wake up to the slightest noise, creaking, anything and then be up for another 3-4 hours (between 2-5am) and then finally falling asleep for another hour. If she sees we are not there, she freaks and refuses to stay in her room. Each night we move the place we are sleeping further away, now we are sleeping in the hallway outside of her door.
I seriously do not know how much longer we can take this. I am almost 7 months pregnant and sleeping on the floor is killing my body, even with a mass of pillows. Luckily i am home over the summer, but go back to work in Sept. and the baby is due in October. Our house is tiny and we are prisoners in our own home, not being able to make the slightest sound or movement without waking her, i cannot even close her door after she is asleep or walk downstairs without it waking her. My husband leaves for work at 3 am 3 days a week which also wakes her up now every night (didn't before) . I do NOT want to get her in a routine of us sleeping with her. Sometimes she seems albsolutely petrified but it happend all of a sudden one night. We have cut back on the nap to an hour if at all, which makes no difference. It is already taking a toll on our marriage, as my husband, when he works, gets home after 7pm has 45 minutes to shower, eat dinner adn spend time with her before we start this horror of a night, because we don't even get to speak for 5 minutes once he's home, as once she starts screaming, we end up having to go up to bed for the night, which puts us in bed around 830pm ,but separated, one dealing with her, the other trying to de stress or sleep.
We have a stringent bedtime routine that she's had for a very long time, she knows the routine and seems to like it. We talk about it during the day and around 6 pm. I have tried putting her to bed when it's light out since she will nap without issue , and that doesn't work. I don't know what else to do. We are prisoners in our own home, my husband and I have difficulty seeing each other as is without adding this, and I am petrified about what will happen when the baby gets here and is up at night crying, and having to deal with my daughter , the baby and having to go to work. If she won't sleep now with us walking up the steps, closing a door or with the TV on volume 3 downstairs, how is she goign to sleep with a baby?? Wanting to sleep comfortably makes me want to bring her in our room, but I am resistant to this as I don't want to start this and not be able to get her out of our room. I cannot allow her to fall asleep with one of us in her bed, becuase you cannot get out of it without her waking up. With my husbands work schedule and 1.5 hour commute he is exhausted constantly and cannot afford to be exhausted with the commute and the nature of his job, it could be life threatening. Please help.