HELP!!!

[lornieloo]

Hi guys...This is the scenario...

I have 2 children a girl who is 4 and a boy who is 3.  At the begining of the year I became friends with a lady accross the road who has a 4yr old son.  I trust my two children to play together in their room with me keeping a ear out and popping up to check on them regulary, there has never been any problems with this and they always come down if there are problems.  However my friend started to bring her son around to play with my children and this went fine for a short while until one time a few months ago I went upstairs to check on them to find my daughter with her pants and trousers off, I was shocked as this type of 'play' has never happened with my two on their own.  I spoke to my daughter about it afterwards and she told me this boy had told her to take her pants and trousers off and he was 'hurting' her bum.  I didn't want to make a big deal out of it so I told her if anything like that happens again she must come and tell me and not to take her trousers off.  I also decided that they were no longer allowed to play upstairs on their own, I thought the problem was solved but yesterday the two boys went into the kitchen to get some grapes, I followed them in and my friends boy didn't realise I was stood in the doorway and took his trousers down and said to my son 'show me your winky'.  My son looked at me and the boy realised I was stood their so pulled his trousers up and ran off!  I have had the same talk with my son and have now decided that I do not want this boy to play with my children.  However I have a major feeling of guilt, I think for a 4yr old to behaving like this he is possibly being abused, I have not spoken to his mum about his behaviour incase she goes into some sort of rant.  I am not sure if I am being paranoid or if I should say something to someone incase he is being abused.  I am also worried that my children have been affected, what advice would you give? my children are now not having any contact with this boy, is it just childs games? or something more sinister?

[mammo]

I would take this very seriously and keep your kids away from that boy!  The kid was hurting your daughter, this goes way beyond curiosity!  This type of "play" is not acceptable at any time. Pain makes one remember things more, and because your daughter was hurt by this boy it may be etched in her memory.  Call your pediatrician and ask how you should handle this and go from there.  

[yngdad]

I'd call it games. I'm a dad of 3 boys. Iv been through this quite a few times. Its just curiosity. With ur daughter he knew she had different parts and probably wanted to explore them. Iv never had to worry about that one. But iv caught my boys with each other and a few times the oldesa with his friends. They know they have penises but they come in different sizes colors etc. He probably wanted to see ur sons winky again out of curiosity. I'm sure ur children aren't affected by it. But u also need to alert the boys mother and tell her what u found her son doing and u should have told her about what he did to ur daughter. Kids play like this often, its nothing to get worked up over.

[margypops]

this is excatly why one needs to supervise children and not allow them long periods of time by themselves in bedrooms, this occurs a lot and wouldnt occur if parents supervised .It is possible that the child of the neighbor has been abused Do not allow your children to play with him and yes I would approach the parents as it may prevent anything further happening to the child if there was a problem .You are not paranoid, I wouldnt call it games, would you .......