My son and his girlfriend have just had a new baby boy (1 week ago) his girlfriend already had a 5yr old daughter who was fostered until she was able to look after her 18 months ago. the childs paternal grandparents had custody and were drug users, fought a lot and had younger children. Biological mum had to fight in court to get custody and she has lived with my son and gf now for 19 months. They are a very stable couple and my son has helped his gf to turn her life around. She is a wonderful mother to both her children, beleive me, I was devastated when I first found out my son had fallen for the person given her previous lifetstyle. I was so wrong...she is wonderful, they do not swear or smack her and are consistent in their approach to her bad behaviour. They do not drink or use drugs and he works hard to provide for them. I am a mental health professional and so have some insight into some adult behaviours but have never worked with children. My step grandaughter no longer has contact with her paternal father ( didnt anyway) or with the grandparents, they maniplated her tiny mind every time she had overnight contact with sons gf. This tiny 5 yr old is a living nightmare, she is disruptive, rude, swears, bites, kicks, makes threats to harm baby (behaviour was prior to pregnancy) this behaviour continues in school and headteacher is at end of tether. She met with child specialist today and has been asked to complete questionnaire and will see her in 3 months. She is at risk of social isolation and educational deprivation. She often says she wants to die, she is aggressive towards other children, she thinks nothing of throwing bricks at other children, teachers are regularly restraining her and threatening to exclude her from school, she says things like "I cant strangle him can I" referring to her new baby brother, when she was pregnant, she would hit and kick her stomach and say she was going to hurt the baby when he came out. She tells lies but can also be loving and quite good at times. Her attention span is quite good and she can watch cartoons without moving away, sometimes for lengthy times. She is unable to play normally with other children as she upsets them very quickly. Some of her statements when she has been banished to her room include "you dont love me anymore mummy do you?, I want to die, I am going to cut myself, mummy I love you and I will think about my behaviour" such a mix of comments. I wonder if she is being manipulative as kids can be. The specialist today has ruled out ADHD and stated that he wanted to complete more assessments over the next 3 months along with the school but he does not want to worry her at the moment, he asked a lot of questions about mental health in the family?? Is it possible that she may have a personality disorder? It is hard to watch her suffer along with my son and her mummy.