Older Brother (11) hates younger sister (7)

[LMDAVE]

I'm a step father to the above mentioned children and have been for 2 years. This situation has been bothering me since I've been with their BM. The son is very sensitive, always needs attention, smothers anyone he starts a conversation with, can't accept being wrong (even though it happens a lot), and whenever I try to explain stuff to him, he first words are "No, but...".

The daughter is not as sensitive, not as much bothers her, she doesn't have a ask for attention and tends to get it just being herself. She's a little more kniving than he is. She loves him and wants to do stuff with him, but all he wants is to do stuff with my wife and me, and preferabbly without his sister.

Both never did seem to find regular friends in our neighorhood, so it's basically playing with each other, and she drives him nuts.

Last weekend he chose to spend the weekend at his grandmother's with just him, and tonight his mom promised him a night of doing stuff with just him.

This is what led me to questiong this. He is turning into the biggest sissy and does nothing but complains about everything eating, doing chores, and especially his little sister.

I just want him to love his little sister because she'll need him to as they grow older.

[margypops]

I sympathise and appreciate your honest response , I think with that in mind you will win through,his dad may be a creep but not to his son, so it may be good to either ignore any talk about his Dad or say posituive things in return, anyway ,,, thats not important the important thing is that you are in his life you sound very caring to both of these children how about you make him love you as much as his Dad , get him in to sports and Games and guy stuff, win him over its not hard with children its all they want,, to be cared for.and loved...he is feeling jealous about the attention your daughter is getting pay him the same amount and it will work..hes not a sissy ,

[LMDAVE]

That's a good response and you are probably correct. Unfortunately, for me, I think his biological dad is a creep but I never tell my stepson that that, however he idolizes his dad, and I constantly have to hear about his dad, and he doesn't listen to my suggestions on things, but if his dad tells him something he comes home immediately wanting to do what his dad said. He sort of makes it hard for me to try to bond when he doesn't want to listen to thing that I tell him to try and help him, but loves anything his dad tells them. Giving that I wasn't a dad up until about 2 years ago and had to jump in running on this, it's hard to play catch up.

[margypops]

Perhaps there is some favoritism here and the ;the son' is not the favourite and you favor the daughter who possibly is easier to love  and not so needy,It sounds as if he is jealous of all the attention your daughter is getting it would be good if you did the same for him , how about some guy time and sports and games one to one,children want to be approved of and loved its a good thing....