7yr old aggressiveness

[CincyJMF]

Hello, I am new to the forum.  I have a 7 year old son with ADD.  He currently takes concerta and is doing pretty well in school.  However, something happened today that frightens me.  He was on recess with hid classmates.  This includes his 6 year old brother.  My 7yr old and one of his friends trapped my younger son behind the building.  The friend was holding my younger sons arms back while my eldest child punched his own brother.  When the teachers confronted the boys I was told that my 7 yr old new what he had done was wrong, but he had no emotional response to the event.  I can't tell you how concerned I am at this point.  My son has had issues with aggressiveness at school before, but not even close tot his extent.   Does anyone have any advise on how I can talk to him about this?  I want to know why this happened.  Also, will punishment help this situation?  How extreme can I/should I go with a punishment?  Any help is greatly appreciated.  

[specialmom]

At our school, such an occurance is dealt with by the principal and guidance counselor.  They take it very seriously.  I'd have them follow their normal protocol for dealing with bullies and physical altercations with kids.  This may mean expulsion, loss of recess, etc.  But that is what it is.  He should receive whatever consequences (as should his 'friend') that the school has for such actions.  

Regardless if he has adhd or not, he needs to understand boundaries.  He needs to have consequences.  My son has a developmental delay called sensory integration disorder that looks a lot like adhd--------------  and I'd not tolerate physical abuse of his brother for one second.  Your son needs to know that this is crossing the boundary and you are extremely disappointed.  And you will not protect him from the consequences from his school.  

At 7 punishment still needs to be immedate.  But that is not to say that you can't tell him ahead of time that if he ever touches his brother or another child in that manner again he won't have X happen (I'd take a prized item such as the Wii and sell it.  He'd have to do things around the house to earn money to buy a new one. ).  

Do you see a therapist?  Now is the time to start if you do not.  good luck

[jdtm]

The first thing I would do is find out about this "friend".  Was your son the instigator or the follower?  As for punishment - bad behaviour needs to be addressed.  What did the school do to punish your child?  Have you discussed this behaviour with your son's doctor (perhaps Concerta might affect his judgement)?  As for talking to your son, I believe in the words from an old song - "a little less talk and a lot more action" ....