5 year old behavior (boy)

[ThePlanner]

I am at my wits end! My highly intelligent 5 1/2 year old son (6 in Oct.) is turning into a backtalking, sarcastic, wild child, as well as behaving inappropiately in public at times (pulled his swimsuit down at the pool). He has been diagnosed w/ Sensory Intergation and we have had over a year of therapy working on fine motor skills, eating issues, balance, scheduling etc. But now he seems to just push my buttons EVERY day. I am so tired of taking things away and sending him to his room. He seems to be regressing a bit - have had a couple of temper tantrums and since he is over 4 feet tall and over 50 pounds, I have a hard time physically restraining him. I haven't seen a temper tantrum in AGES...Could he be acting out, ie...nervous about starting Kindergarten? He was in the same daycare/preschool since he was 3 months old and just recently left, and is spending the summer at camps, with grandparents and we went on vacation. Could our lack of scheduling be causing the problem? Our days are busy, but we do have downtime as we live in a tropical climate and the afternoons are over 100 degrees, so that limits outside time. Am I expecting too much? He tends to have this behavior only w/me, but is good and cooperative my husband. Ideas? oh, he is an only child. Suggestions?? Thanks!

[ThePlanner]

Thank you for your comments. I sometimes want to forget how the sensory issues can play such a big part of my son's personality. I think you are right on target and I have not seen book #2, I will look for it today.

thanks again.

[jdtm]

From a previous response, I noticed that your child has sensory issues.  Often, sensory issues are co-morbid with anxiety issues.  I suspect that is what you are seeing here - acting out about the impending start of school.  Children who have anxiety issues tend to "act out" with those whom they feel the most "safe", so your child's behaviour towards his mother is very common.  From what you have written it does not appear your child is suffering from an anxiety disorder; just anxiety issues.  I also expect (as you mentioned) the lack of scheduling also is part of this equation.

I might suggest two books which should be of help - (1) "the highly sensitive child" by Elaine N. Aron and (2) "Easing School Jitters for the SM Child" by Elisa Shipon-Blum.  Both are available on-line (just google the title) or perhaps they can be found in your local bookstore or library.  Even though the second book is for a child with severe anxiety issues, many of the ideas would be very appropriate and applicable for your son.  Also, if you google the term "childhood anxiety" or similar phrases as "school anxiety", etc., you should be able to find more information which might be of assistance to you.

One of the best things you can do for your son is to try and be extra, extra patient.  I doubt if he trying to be obnoxious or "bad"; probably he is trying to "cope" the best way he knows how (albeit not in an acceptable manner).  Dealing with sensory and/or anxiety issues can be very difficult for both the child and parent but there is lots of help available and these problems do not need be life burdens.  I wish you the best ...