Child sleeping in parent's bed

[usccsf99]

I hope you can help.  I am recently divorced and have 2 teenage daughters.  My girlfriend is also divorced and has 2 sons, ages 11 and 6.

I am having issues with the 6 year old.  He constantly wants his mother to do pretty much everything for him, most of which I don't have a problem with.  One thing that he does want is his mother to wipe him after he goes to the bathroom.  He is potty trained, and has no issues with this outside the home.  

Second (and this is the big one)...he is always coming into our bedroom in the middle of the night and wants to crawl into bed with us.  I raised my girls so that if they came into our room to sleep
(normally during a thunderstorm) they would get in bed, but then we would take them back to their own bed once they were asleep, or we would go back to their room with them stay with them until they were asleep.  This lasted until they were about 4 years old, then they stayed in their room.

This is an every night occurrance with her 6 year old.  He doesn't sleep between us, but on her side of the bed.  These occurrances cause me to have broken sleep.  She doesn't see anything wrong with it, but says "He's just 6".  I find it frustrating, because our bed is "our bed".  I've talked to her about this and told her to just take him back to his bed, but she won't.  Sometimes she sleeps in the nude, and he crawls into bed alongside her.

HELP!!! WHAT AM I TO DO???

[usccsf99]

When I say recently divorced, I mean a year ago.  I have been dating this woman for about 10 months.  We have been living together for about a month now.

I'm not a big fan of children sleeping with their parents.  If they need "mommy/daddy" time, it should take place in their room.  I was raised that the parent's room was their "sanctuary", just as my bedroom was mine.  I never went into my parent's room without asking, and they returned my respect.

And she doesn't sleep nude every night.  That only happens about once a week, if that.

I drop hints to her, saying things like "must be nice to sleep all night" (because she is usually asleep when he crawls in), things like that...she just laughs it off.

I have been in the military for over 20 years, and have learned to be a very light sleeper. But when I'm home, I like to get a full night's rest (apart from taking a sleeping aid...don't like them).

Any other thoughts???

[RockRose]

I'm really more concerned with the example that's being set here - this 6 year old's mother is  allowing her son to sleep in her bed while she's naked with her boyfriend.  Not a very good role model.

Six year olds often sleep with their parents,  usccsf,  but usually the mother isn't naked and the man isn't a boyfriend.

[91004]

If she doesnt want to change it there is nothing you can do. She does need to put clothes on though that seems weird to me that she dont. Your gonna have to get thru to the wife before you can get thru to the child