Four Year Old with Aggression

[wlycyote]

Hello, My wife an I have a 4 year old son, and he attended a preschool from the age of 6 months to 3 years old.  He had no issues with aggression or issues with learning.  My wife became pregnant with twins and we had to change his pre-school to Goddard.  My son started displaying signs of aggression, by throwing toys, being defiant with the teacher, and finally hitting a teacher in the face when she tried to help him out of costume.  This all happened in a span of four (4) months.  Finally, we decided to switch schools to a more structured Pre-K program.  He is still displaying some aggression, talking back to teacher/parents, but we see him responding to limit setting.  However, he continues to have some tantrums at school and home and making noises during circle time.  Is this behavior a normal byproduct of the twins being born and school changes or should we be more concerned?  It has gotten better with the more structured school program, is this a wait a see situation?  

[benjimom]

Yes, you are doing your best.  That's good that you are getting some good help.

[margypops]

No I dont think you did 'cause this problem  with inattentiveness' I believe you are a troubled /concerned parent like many who come here for input  ..you are doing your best ,he does need help ,this is obvious . You are on the right track ..

[wlycyote]

Sorry didn't write back, we had our son to psychologist yesterady and also had the intermediate unit look at him in our school district.  They attempted to let him play with blocks and escalated the situation, and he picked up a chair and began hitting a book case.  The whole time we watched and he kept looking at the screener for a reaction.  Eventually, we interevened and clamed him down.  The screener indicated that it was anxiety from changes in his life, the twins/school changes.  It was causing anger and he was using negative aggression to get attention.  They are going to work with us and the school to help get it under control.  The psychologist indicated the same thing after a play therapy session and believes the school district's intermediate unit will definitely help him through this.  I think we're on the right track, I am going to make a concerted effort to spend a lot more time with him during the upcoming months.  I can't help but wonder if I caused this problem with inattentiveness?

[margypops]

Did he do it on purpose or was it an accident,he also hurt himself not another child .I think that is the best idea to get him into some sports or something to keep him occupied.Is his mom able to give one to one time it could be that he misses being her only boy..

[wlycyote]

Thanks for the comments, he had another tantrum today and pushed a carriage into some shelves and school and toy hit him in the face.  The class was connecting toys together as a group and he was swinging the toy and teacher told him to stop.  Now he has a bruise on his face, very discouraging.  We consequenced him to his room when he got home and took away TV time.  We've taken pains to make sure we give him attention, I'm going to have to get him into something at night after work.  I'm trying to figure out what.  I just think there is some immaturity behind this aggression as well.

Thanks Again:)

[margypops]

Yes I would say it is a wait and see situation, your son has had w lot happen in his life ,not just usurped by one sibling but two it has to be upsetting, maybe he could use some one to one time for him, focus on his positive side and praise him when you see him doing something right .Its up to the teachers when he is in school to deal with any back chat and you say it has got better with a more structured school programme..Get him involved with a sport and games maybe with Dad .I am sure as time goes by and with more positive attention paid to him all will be well...good luck.