My 1 year old won't sleep in crib...falls asleep nursing...HELP!

[Ni3ma]

Hi,

I am a mother of a soon to be 1 year old (next week) and I am sleep deprived...actually sleep deprived is an understatement. I have nursed my son the whole year, and he has learned to fall asleep while nursing. That has made it difficult for me to sleep through the night, as I have to be in awkward positions to nurse him. My husband and I decided we can't do the night waking anymore (because our son wakes up every 3-4 hours) and wants to be nursed (for soothing) to sleep. So, we finally got him a crib and started trying to put him in it yesterday. He started drinking whole milk, so he had some and then my husband rocked him to sleep and laid him in the crib. He slept for a few...maybe an hour, and then woke up. He needed to be rocked again and put back to sleep, but he woke up after a few minutes again. (Keep in mind I put a cozy blanket on top of his mattress to make him feel like he's sleeping our family bed and made sure he was covered with a light blanket...so he was warm and cozy). This waking pattern repeated for 4 or 5 times. The 5th time, we decided to let him cry it out...so he cried for a little over an hour. I then preceided to try and nurse him and sooth him back to sleep. Everytime I tried to lay him in his crib, he woke up again and started crying. In the end, I let him sleep back in the family bed...nursing him to sooth him to sleep.

I am exhausted, bags under my eyes and all..What do we do? He doesn't sleep long enough, and I am afraid is capable of crying for long periods of time. How long do I let him cry it out? Could something else be the problem? Do I need to stop nursing him completely? What steps should come first? I really want him to have healthy sleep and I need my sleep too!! My husband and I work full time and I go to school as well...so all of this is beyond exhausting.

Please help!!

(Thank you for reading...and your advice is appreciated)

[adgal]

Your son just hasn't learned to self soothe.  This is apparantly very very common.  We went through this as well when my little guy was about 8 months.  

We did most of what Athena talks about, and it did work.  However, prior to starting that portion of it, we slowly weaned him from night feedings.  So with every night feeding, we slowly decreased the amount he got.  He would still be awake, and we made sure to put him down that way.  Then, when he wakes up, he is comfortable with where he is.  It has to be scary for him to fall asleep in one place and wake in another.  Once we had him weaned from night feedings, we started what Athena talks about.  Instead of picking him up from his crib I sat beside it, stroking his back and talking soothingly to him.   A few weeks later he was sleeping through the night.

A really great book on this subject is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby".  My Pediatrician recommended it, and it worked.  It's based on much of what we have posted.

Good luck to you, I know how hard sleep issues are.  But they can learn to self soothe, and when that happens everyone will sleep better and be happier.

[Athena_M]

I feel your pain.  My baby is not sleeping through the night either.  I am unable to nurse, but she is very attached to me.

My doctor said to only let the baby cry for 5 minutes and then go get the baby.  Also the doctor said to let the baby get used to the crib during the day put some toys in there and do the 5 minute rule.  Do that for a week then try 10 minutes of crying.  
Also give your baby the shirt you wore that day (of course make sure it a safe item of clothing) so your son smells your scent.
There is a heartbeat teddy bear that is supposed to help babies fall asleep.  Maybe try that.