should I Be Worried?

[scfinest]

I have a two year old son who turns three in 3 weeks. He has been in daycare since 14 months. Now that he is older he does not want to participate in the daily class activities. while in class he only pays attention to things he has an intrest in. When asked to join in on group activities he throws a fit. He seems more comfortable when he is off to himself. If he feels like interacting with other children ,he does. When he comes home from daycare, he shows us some things he learns. He also has a speech problem. He can not pronounce words as they should be. he had his hearing tested already and the results show no hearing distress. He watches a lot of edcational shows on tv (noggin). When he is denied television; he throws a fit. he has been in three daycare centers and displays the same standoffish behavior. Should i be worried? Does he have a behavior problem? does he have an axis one diagnosis (add,adhd,autism)? Is this normal behavior for his age?

[scfinest]

my son is now in speech therapyturns out he was agitated that people did not or could not understand therefore he would withdraw himself from certain situations. his speech is improving along with his behavior. he participates in the daily activities according to his tachers. i have on occassions observed him interacting well with the children. as far as getting a hair cut he goes bananas. we have a time with him at the barbershop.

[Sally44]

Your description of your son is similar to mine who went on to get a diagnosis of autistic spectrum disorder at age 6.  
To be diagnosed as being on the spectrum a child needs to have difficulties in three areas.  These are speech, social communication/interaction, and a need for routines/ rigid behaviours showing a lack of imagination or inflexibility.
It is very common for those on the spectrum to love TV/DVDs.  My son would throw a fit if I turned if off and I still have to use TV as a motivator to get him out of bed in the morning and ready for school (he is 7 now).  He also needs to see a programme to the end so I cannot turn the TV off mid programme.
I think it would be sensible to have him assessed by a team who have experience in diagnosing autistic spectrum disorders.  You should ask your GP or paediatrician for a referal.  Usually it is the Speech and Language Therapist who will assess first.  She will assess his receptive and expressive language.  His use of pronounds and also his semantic/pagmatic language skills.
My son also was not interested in joining in at nursery or school unless it was something he wanted to do and it was on his terms.  When he began school he just couldn't cope in the classroom environment as he has difficulties understanding language eventhough his expressive language is age appropriate.
Does your son have any sensory issues.  How is he with having his hair brushed/washed/cut, or having his nails cut, putting on socks and shoes, do clothes tags have to be removed, does he appear deaf or cover his ears at noise, does he complain of smells or tastes or textures.  What is his balance and co-ordination like.
I have now moved my son to another mainstream school that also has experience of autism and aspergers.  He is in a class of 18 where 9 of the children are on the spectrum.  He is also showing signs of dyslexia, but is doing brilliantly at his new school.
I would say follow your gut feelings.  From the age of three I had concerns about my son.  The fact that he repeated words/phrases he heard from me or from TV went unrecognised eventhough I took him to the doctors about it.  I later found out it is called echolalia.  Eventhough his nursery raised concerns with me, when the Health Visitor asked if she could go in and observe him they refused!  So I feel that we lost 3 years when he could have been getting therapy and support in nursery and school.  It is only now that he is in a place where he is much happier, but it has made him very negative about school because it was such a trauma for him being forced to comply or put in situations he didn't understand or couldn't tolerate because of sensory issues.
If it is just a speech issue then speech therapy will help bring him on and his other skills may develop.  If he is on the spectrum then the sooner you know that the better.
If you want to see the diagnostic criteria you can google DSM IV for autism and read what the characteristics are that the professionals are looking for.  

[scfinest]

thanks. i will try that

[nlavh]

First, being in 3 different settings in less than 2 years may have something to do with his behavior. However, it is most likely normal 3 year old stuff. Children at this age are all about exploring their world and being autonomous--so it's not wonder he wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it, this is what 3 year olds do.
However, my only concern from what you mentioned would be related to his speech. At the age of 3 speech therapist can begin to assess articulation milestones. Contact your state's early intervention program (usually through the county dept. of health or dept. of education) and request an evaluation. If he qualifies for services you should be able to get a speech therapist to work with your child in your home or at school free of charge.