How to get son to stay in room all night????

[tmstorm2]

My kids were great sleepers.  Then we switched our youngest to a big boy bed and moved him in with his brother.  He did share with his twin sister.  We thought it was time to move him out of the pink room and he was climbing out of his crib.  They go to sleep on their own of course with some stalls another hug and kiss.  We have a night time routine bath stories bed.  The both turn on moon and planet night light along with crib soother if they want it..  But sometime during the night one or both make it into our room.  We lock their door until we go to bed so they don't come in and out.  I unlock it when we go to bed.  I have forgot and left it locked and those are the nights our youngest gets the oldest up to unlock the door.  He can unlock it but the one who wakes up can't.  I have been leaving it unlocked so at least my oldest won't get woke up by him.  He constantly kicks his feet when in bed with us but I am not a co sleeper and can't stand it.  We have 3 bedrooms uptairs and 3 unfinished rooms in the basement.  We are thinking of putting his crib back up putting it in our room with one of those nets so he can't climb out and moving to the basement.  He is affecting everyone but his twin sister who is in another room.  I know it cant be good to go back to the crib but we are desperate.  Any advice??  I walk him back but sometimes I don't realize he is there if he is on my husbands side and he is a deep sleeper.

[adgal]

I don't know if I would wake him or not..I guess I would try both ways.  Carrying him back to his bed asleep, and then waking him and walking him back.  I honestly don't know which would work better.  Another forum that you might try is the Child Behavior Experts Forum on MH.  If you go under Forums, then look on the Expert side, the rooms come up.  The Dr. there is very good in my opinion, and he gave me some excellent advice in dealing with the sleep issues.  

[tmstorm2]

We were going to move to the basement.  But you are right I wouldn't want to be too far which is why we put him with his brother.  I don't really want to give up our room.  I want to try that but sometimes when he comes in we don't realize it.  would you wake him up and walk him back?

[adgal]

Oh boy, do I ever understand where you are coming from.  I have a two year old who also will not stay in his own bed in his room all night. He just will not.  He wants to co sleep, and we found ourselves doing that, but he too thrashes and moves constantly, so we all wound up so overtired it was just awful.  My son was beginning to do very well, then we moved.  And I think the change in where he was started this all over again.  Honestly, I wonder if toddlers just have a hard time adjusting to change.

Here is what I would do...when he gets up in the night and comes to your room, do not say anything. Just pick him up and put him back to bed.  Do this everytime without saying anything.  Yep, going to make for some exhausting nights as I'm sure it will continue several times, but eventually he will get it.  I did something like this with mine (he is 2 and still in a crib right now).  He would scream out, and I would go in and just silently reach in, rub his back, give him a hug, etc. The only thing I would say is "night night honey, mommy will see you in the morning".  It took a long time, but the last two nights he has finally slept through the night in his own bed.  

If you don't want to co sleep, then you have to keep reinforcing this.  But I don't think putting him back in a crib is the right answer..just my opinion.  Also, having a child sleep in the basement alone doesn't seem overly safe to me?  I tend to be a worrywart, but I prefer my bedroom close by in case of a fire or some other emergency.  It's best to know you can get to your kids with no danger of being cut off from them for any reason.  Also, I would think it might make things worse as the change in scenery might be unsettling for a bit.

Just my thoughts, I know how hard this is and how desperate we can become.  Sleep issue are really really hard.  I wish you all the best!