Is my daughter telling me the truth

[mc875]

I have a 3 year old daughter who is now telling me that her pee pee has been touched by a friend of mine and my husbands. I want to believe her but this guy has been really good to us and has lived with us since she was born and has always been good with my kids. Every time they see him they yell Uncle and are always playing and jumping on him including my 3 year old. He lived with us the past couple of months and none of my kids ever mentioned to me about him being like this. Now it has been about 2 months since he had moved out and just today my daughter mentioned this to me. I asked her to repeat herself and she looked me like she was scared and said "uncle touched me right here". I was a little shocked and did not know exactly what to say. I asked if this was true because accusing someone of this they can be in big trouble. I then asked what she meant by him touching her she just stood there. I remember in psychology class they use dolls for kids her age to explain themselves so I told her to get her doll and show me. She then touched the babys private with her finger and started stroking it. I know my daughter can lie but then again how would she know any of that, all my kids watch are Disney Jr or Sprout. Now that I am thinking about it though my 2 year old was always complaining about her pee pee saying oww oww, so I thought it hurt her to pee or burned when she peed thinking maybe she had an infection, but since he has been gone i have not heard her complain about it anymore. I am concerned and want to go to the doctors and get them ex amend but I am scared that the doctor with think I am a bad mother for not knowing anything. I want to tell my husband what I just heard but afraid of what he will do if I tell him so I want to know the facts before saying anything to him. And my husband told he that guy is wanting to move back in when he is finished with his job and that is soon. So i need to know something soon. I am confused, scared and do not know what to do..!!

[gigi1114]

I'm very disappointed that you are more worried about what others will think of you, and your parenting, than you are at protecting your daughter.  Call the police now, and if you ever let that man move back in the house then you should be worried about what others think of you, because you would then you would be a terrible parent.  Start believing and protecting your daughter.  Do you even realize what your poor child has been through?! You know the truth, stop pretending you don't.  Everything in your question proves that.

[HKris93]

As a victim at age 5 I was confused as a child, no I never wanted him touching me in that way but I still loved him and so I guess I didnt see him as the bad guy until he started making me do things for him. At that age we learn to forgive and forget easier then we do at an older age. As I began to get older and realizing exactly what he was doing to me and him taking a step further in his molestation because my family never believed me, I began to have hatred towards him and my family because I felt like my family was letting this happen to me. The molestation finally stopped at age 14 and I learned to forgive him (never will forget but I did forgive) in his last four years of his life. I am now 23 and I will always have to live with what happened and no one can ever take that away from me. I will forever fear that my daughter may one day be a victim, but my daughter will always have me and at that age a child will not lie about something so serious. Please believe that baby.

[Badassndn]

First u as a mom should always stand by ur child. Secondly as a wife, u should never keep things like this from ur husband. Now for the actual issue,  it is better to have this looked into then to be wrong about this. If she was molested then ur so called friend will have a past,  someone had to be first. Not to mention who is vulnerable to him now. Wouldnt u want someone to report this if ur daughter(s) were next.....

[Nicolmoon]

It's sad that guy is out there somewhere ;(

[ElizabethKN]

I am not a child psychologist but I work closely with several and they would say to take this seriously. Absolutely without a doubt take this seriously and keep the friend away from her. 3 year olds dont make up this kind of thing (this level of sexual understanding is more developmentally advanced than what a normal 3 year old would come up with on their own). Keep her safe-she needs you to take action to protect her now more than ever. You can minimize any damage from this later on by keeping her safe and showing her that she can come to you for protection.

[ShanB76]

As a mother whose child told her something similar at age 5 . You must believe your child because if you don't do anything about this than the out come is much worse. Make her feel safe in a safe environment. I would not tell the father this until you are away from the situation. Predators will lie. Don't let it get any worse and never put her back into that situation.

[KA313]

You absolutely must tell the police and CPS about what has happened! CPS and police are trained to deal with this situation and can avoid traumatising your child! It's not good enough to simply avoid the perpetrator and only see a doctor. Other children are at risk if you allow him to go on unprosecuted! Imagine if someone else knew what he did but decided not to report it because they decided to just avoid him? That person would have been able to stop him hurting your beautiful children. All Children deserve to be protected from him not just your children! As a person who works with abused children I can guarantee he will offend again. No one will blame you for not knowing what was going on but they will definitely blame you if you let him abuse more children because your to embarrassed to report it