I agree. Children struggle and that kind of treatment compounds their issues. It's very unfortunate when any parent handles a situation like this in that manner.
Hopefully by now, your child is wiping better... my son has sensory issues and anxiety trouble so wiping for him is hard because he is unsure if he can do it without getting poo on his hands. It is incredibly frustrating for his father and I to still be dealing with wiping him, but we either wipe him, offer him gloves to wipe himself, or stay in the bathroom to coach him (as recommended by his O.T.). I can not imagine the parents on this forum who are saying that they have spanked their children for having an accident in their pants or not wiping. It is mean, disrespectful, and does not accomplish the goal that you are setting out to achieve; on the contrary, negative speech towards toileting (at any age and for any stage of potty training) WILL create anxiety in the child that can lead to LIFELONG toileting stress and/or gastrointestinal disorders. ~ April, M.Ed. School Counselor
have you tried a reward system?
I am having simular issue with my 7 year old daughter not wiping after using the restroom. I would love if someone out there has advise on what I SHOULD do to make some head way with this. I will say my daughter hasn't regressed but has never really wiped. I have spoken to her doctor about this issue several times to have him discuss the health issues with not wiping. I KNOW she does not wipe at home or school and the reason is she doesn't want to miss out on anything. I have tried making her use more time by going back wiping and changing her panties to show there isn't time saving by not wiping. Nothing is working what do I do?
No, you really have not approached this from "every way possible".
Do you know if it is really a wiping problem or a pooping in underwear problem? Do you know when it is happening? At school or at home?
Have you talked to your pediatrician about this? And definitely check out the link I posted in my last sentence in my prior post.
We have had many posts on this forum about pooping problems and the information given by specialmom and myself is the result of dealing with these problems. I do remember there was one in particular that was very helpful. I will go back and try to find it.
Gotta agree with specialmom here. Threatening to hold a child back at this age (or for that matter any age) is not going to work. You use rewards or immediate, consistent behavioral reinforcement. The problem with pooping problems is that it is very hard to have immediate reinforcement because the problem is not noticed till later.
What can possibly work is a fairly strictly held schedule of toilet sitting accompanied with rewards.
However, if this is happening at school. Then the teacher has to be involved. And I have seen many situations where the child had problems because they were afraid to use the restrooms at recess times.
And in this case, as the parent has hopefully learned the punishments have not worked - what now?
In the first place it may not be due to poor wiping, but rather to actually having an accident in his underwear. Which I think is much more likely.
Also there are several good medical reasons - besides being scared to use the bathroom or being too lazy or having ADHD - for the child having this problem. And what a shame if it is a medical problem and the child is being punished for it.
This is a link to an article on functional fecal retention that might prove helpful. http://www.practicalgastro.com/pdf/November02/LoeningBauckeArticle.pdf