Aa
My step parent section..
So this is what I have, this space, my ideas, opinions,responses and questions aren't always perfect, but I just want to have this space to say THANK YOU to all of the "step parents". Being a child of divorce and a mother of divorce, I have had "step parents", my kids have had "step parents" and I have been a "step parent"..Its like a world that revolves around "step parents". I noticed awhile back on these boards there are easy ways to upset people. Being a "step parent" with any problem is one way. It can be any problem and the boards blow up and usually "turn" againest the "step parent". It can be from the smallest "how to get my step child to kiss me, to how do I disipline my step child", and before you know it, peoples replies become judgemental. I think it may just be a "group" of elders that had parents that were married forever that don't quite understand the whole "step parent" situation. Sometimes, being a "step parent" is not a choice, sometimes it is, whatever the "step parent" reason is, I think it is just wonderful that there is another person to love our children!!! Our society should be more approving of it because it is the REALITY, not badger the "step parent" for trying to do what a normally responsible/irresponsible biological parent should be doing. Which brings me to why I am leaving this post, if you find that you are a "step parent" frustrated by 'badgers" and you can not find a helpful answer, post your question here, for now, and I with what ever powers I have, will be an easy listener and hoping helpful answer. Yes, I know this is quite a strestch, but I guess Im tired of reading posts where "step parents" dont ever get an answer, and by the time they do, they usually are frustrated and dont post anymore replies. This forum is supposed to be helpful to everyone, and I feel I can be a helper, and I know there are others on here who are very helpful, so give it a try. I want to see what kind of things I can accomplish that are positive. Thank you so much for reading this! Have a nice day!!
I forgot to add something. Are children of married "whole" families allowed to disrespect and not love their parents? The answer is no. So you are suggesting that you see a problem in "step parent " households, you are seeing that the children do not respect nor love the other "intruder".Well how about this, how about it being a balance, how about if the kids can love and respect a "whole" family they can do the same when there is a "step parent".Kids shouldnt have that choice anyways.It just creates confusion. Really how often do you see kids not receiving the emotional comfort for their sadness and emotional upsets in a "whole" family? I would say alot of times. There is no difference whether the family is whole or blended. The same problems exist, and it is the adults responsibility to take handle and control unwanted actions in a child to shape them into future adults.
Yes I called Bri's mom and I was screamed at because she thinks I should do everything for Bri that I do for my 2 boys, that is fine because I do when it is our week but I shouldnt have to on her weeks. And my husband lets her run her mouth and he will just walk away, I cant and wont let her do that to me. I wish I could get along with her mom but she makes it very hard.
Here4. No family is perfect.
No set of parents are perfect.
What is MOST close to perfect is a loving mother and father who are married and focused on the needs of the children.
What is LEAST likely to be perfect is a man and a woman who aren't married and have separate children all living under the same roof, although sometimes the kids are passed around so they don't have a 100% home.
Let me tell you what I typically see on a board like this, and maybe you'll agree this is what you see too.
Bio moms say things like: my son is small for his age, and actually probably hyperactive. He's as sweet as he can be, though, and I love him dearly. I am really worried about how he'll be treated in school when he goes to kindergarten because I guess he has a tendency to have a hard time making friends because he's so bouncy, and also it's hard to get him to brush his teeth. I lay awake nights worrying. HELP.
step moms say things like: my stepson is hyper. He doesn't wash, and he doesn't have any friends. He is here every other weekend and the house is in total chaos when he's here. He's loud, and bouncy, and messy. I'm at the end of my rope, I want to leave when he's here. HELP.
Do you ever hear a biomom write a post like this:
Me and my boyfriend live together and he's the most perfect man I've ever met. I love him forever, he's absolutely perfect and we get along great, he's the man of my dreams. But when my children visit, the whole house comes apart. My children are loud, and messy, and have bad table manners and play Nintendo. They also want to stay up late playing and interrupt our conversations. They're hard to get to go to bed at night. My perfect relationship with my boyfriend is wrecked for me during this time and I'm miserable during their visits. HELP. (Do you ever see biomoms saying that, ever? Is every other post from a stepmom just like that?)
So do you see what I see? When a stepmom writes a post describing specific symptoms and asking for help, or expresses love, and asks for guidance, I think they get treated very well here. It's the moms who are irritated and just wish the kids would vanish and stop taking up her time that make my head fly off. I know some stepmoms are really trying, and really loving, and kudos to them. The complaints I see, and the outrageous expectations I see, are more typical.
Best wishes.
No set of parents are perfect.
What is MOST close to perfect is a loving mother and father who are married and focused on the needs of the children.
What is LEAST likely to be perfect is a man and a woman who aren't married and have separate children all living under the same roof, although sometimes the kids are passed around so they don't have a 100% home.
Let me tell you what I typically see on a board like this, and maybe you'll agree this is what you see too.
Bio moms say things like: my son is small for his age, and actually probably hyperactive. He's as sweet as he can be, though, and I love him dearly. I am really worried about how he'll be treated in school when he goes to kindergarten because I guess he has a tendency to have a hard time making friends because he's so bouncy, and also it's hard to get him to brush his teeth. I lay awake nights worrying. HELP.
step moms say things like: my stepson is hyper. He doesn't wash, and he doesn't have any friends. He is here every other weekend and the house is in total chaos when he's here. He's loud, and bouncy, and messy. I'm at the end of my rope, I want to leave when he's here. HELP.
Do you ever hear a biomom write a post like this:
Me and my boyfriend live together and he's the most perfect man I've ever met. I love him forever, he's absolutely perfect and we get along great, he's the man of my dreams. But when my children visit, the whole house comes apart. My children are loud, and messy, and have bad table manners and play Nintendo. They also want to stay up late playing and interrupt our conversations. They're hard to get to go to bed at night. My perfect relationship with my boyfriend is wrecked for me during this time and I'm miserable during their visits. HELP. (Do you ever see biomoms saying that, ever? Is every other post from a stepmom just like that?)
So do you see what I see? When a stepmom writes a post describing specific symptoms and asking for help, or expresses love, and asks for guidance, I think they get treated very well here. It's the moms who are irritated and just wish the kids would vanish and stop taking up her time that make my head fly off. I know some stepmoms are really trying, and really loving, and kudos to them. The complaints I see, and the outrageous expectations I see, are more typical.
Best wishes.
rebbecca - how would you like to change places with Brianna for a year?
You be her, and she can be you.
Really imagine it. Does it sound like a comfortable swap for you - would you like to be in her shoes?
(Please don't answer by saying how much you hate her lazy mother).
You be her, and she can be you.
Really imagine it. Does it sound like a comfortable swap for you - would you like to be in her shoes?
(Please don't answer by saying how much you hate her lazy mother).
I lived Bri's life as a child, so what the hell do you really want to know now. And I turned out pretty damn good and I had a stepmom from hell and I would never do that to Brianna.
RockRose wrote:
"...Bio moms say things like: my son is small for his age, and actually probably hyperactive. He's as sweet as he can be, though, and I love him dearly. I am really worried about how he'll be treated in school when he goes to kindergarten because I guess he has a tendency to have a hard time making friends because he's so bouncy, and also it's hard to get him to brush his teeth. I lay awake nights worrying. HELP.
step moms say things like: my stepson is hyper. He doesn't wash, and he doesn't have any friends. He is here every other weekend and the house is in total chaos when he's here. He's loud, and bouncy, and messy. I'm at the end of my rope, I want to leave when he's here. HELP.
Do you ever hear a biomom write a post like this:
Me and my boyfriend live together and he's the most perfect man I've ever met. I love him forever, he's absolutely perfect and we get along great, he's the man of my dreams. But when my children visit, the whole house comes apart. My children are loud, and messy, and have bad table manners and play Nintendo. They also want to stay up late playing and interrupt our conversations. They're hard to get to go to bed at night. My perfect relationship with my boyfriend is wrecked for me during this time and I'm miserable during their visits. HELP. (Do you ever see biomoms saying that, ever? Is every other post from a stepmom just like that?) ..."
That is so true! I have seen the odd stepmother post a loving request to help a little one struggling, but it's way, way, way too often the way you described. It's incredibly sad.
"...Bio moms say things like: my son is small for his age, and actually probably hyperactive. He's as sweet as he can be, though, and I love him dearly. I am really worried about how he'll be treated in school when he goes to kindergarten because I guess he has a tendency to have a hard time making friends because he's so bouncy, and also it's hard to get him to brush his teeth. I lay awake nights worrying. HELP.
step moms say things like: my stepson is hyper. He doesn't wash, and he doesn't have any friends. He is here every other weekend and the house is in total chaos when he's here. He's loud, and bouncy, and messy. I'm at the end of my rope, I want to leave when he's here. HELP.
Do you ever hear a biomom write a post like this:
Me and my boyfriend live together and he's the most perfect man I've ever met. I love him forever, he's absolutely perfect and we get along great, he's the man of my dreams. But when my children visit, the whole house comes apart. My children are loud, and messy, and have bad table manners and play Nintendo. They also want to stay up late playing and interrupt our conversations. They're hard to get to go to bed at night. My perfect relationship with my boyfriend is wrecked for me during this time and I'm miserable during their visits. HELP. (Do you ever see biomoms saying that, ever? Is every other post from a stepmom just like that?) ..."
That is so true! I have seen the odd stepmother post a loving request to help a little one struggling, but it's way, way, way too often the way you described. It's incredibly sad.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Child Behavior Community
Fearing autism, many parents aren't vaccinating their kids. Can doctors reverse this dangerous trend?
Is a gluten-free diet right for you?
We answer your top questions about the flu vaccine.
Learn which over-the-counter medicines are safe for you and your baby
Yummy eats that will keep your child healthy and happy
Healing home remedies for common ailments
