My step parent section..

[here4theinfo]

So this is what I have, this space, my ideas, opinions,responses and questions aren't always perfect, but I just want to have this space to say THANK YOU to all of the "step parents". Being a child of divorce and a mother of divorce, I have had "step parents", my kids have had "step parents" and I have been a "step parent"..Its like a world that revolves around "step parents". I noticed awhile back on these boards there are easy ways to upset people. Being a "step parent" with any problem is one way. It can be any problem and the boards blow up and usually "turn" againest the "step parent". It can be from the smallest "how to get my step child to kiss me, to how do I disipline my step child", and before you know it, peoples replies become judgemental. I think it may just be a "group" of elders that had parents that were married forever that don't quite understand the whole "step parent" situation. Sometimes, being a "step parent" is not a choice, sometimes it is, whatever the "step parent" reason is, I think it is just wonderful that there is another person to love our children!!! Our society should be more approving of it because it is the REALITY, not badger the "step parent" for trying to do what a normally responsible/irresponsible biological parent should be doing. Which brings me to why I am leaving this post, if you find that you are a "step parent" frustrated by 'badgers" and you can not find a helpful answer, post your question here, for now, and I with what ever powers I have, will be an easy listener and hoping helpful answer. Yes, I know this is quite a strestch, but I guess Im tired of reading posts where "step parents" dont ever get an answer, and by the time they do, they usually are frustrated and dont post anymore replies. This forum is supposed to be helpful to everyone, and I feel I can be a helper, and I know there are others on here who are very helpful, so give it a try. I want to see what kind of things I can accomplish that are positive. Thank you so much for reading this! Have a nice day!!

[here4theinfo]

I forgot to add your name on the above..All I really can do is try, its hard, but I have too.Please read above.

[here4theinfo]

Hi, Im sorry too, my baby was to complete our "perfect" family. He was perfect, which we all know nothing is perfect. But he was, he was beautiful, quiet, aware. God blessed me with an angel, and then he had to go back to Heaven. Through all the tears and the confusion, I cant really be mad at anyhing, I should have seen the signs, we allmost lost him 3 times before my placenta ripped and he cam emerg c secton. We looked into his eyes and saw his soul. He smiled at all of us before he left us, we captured so many pics and videos of him. It had made me realize tha life is to short, love what you have, and be patient.Even though I have alot of bad days,crying,sadness,thoughts of guilt, I have to continue to move on because of my kids, I have to help them overcome though emotional issues, I found that I really love kids, not just my own, all of them. To top all of that off, my husbands kids, that we loved and raised for 3 years, moved in with their mom, and she made them turn their backs on us. Alot of the stress I had when I was pregnant was because of her "evil" ways, and I really mean "evil", not Gods plan. I had seen it in the kids before they left, the negative,evil,mean ways, it really allmost tore our blended family apart. Their mother took them and immediatley had them lying, telling them we were going to kidnap them, that i was a bad step mom and they didnt have to listen to me. My hubby and I allmost had their bad ways turned around before she came in and messed it all up. She went as far as to say that she was going to get a restraining order on me and call cps and tell them that I beat her kids, she told me she was going to go to court and tell the judge and then I would go to jail and my own kids would get taken away. This is all while I was pregnant and you can imagine he stress right? All the while I was preparing paperwork aginest her so when we went to court, we could fight for the kids, about 2 mons before I delivered my son, my hubby got a call from her, she had gone her furthest, she accused my 10 yr old of innapriopritly teaching her, she told my hubby that his own daughter had told a therapist. We finally decided that we couldnt deal with it anymore, she had allready cut us off from talking to the kids, and my hubby didnt want to go through a huge fight, and i was so stressed out, i couldnt think straight. We will let the kids be there for now, when they get older, we will tell them the truth, if the come back. Hopefully God will step in their lifes and get them back on the right path.Its not in my control anymore and all I can do is pray. Same thing with my baby, I can only pray that we can be on the right path so we can be with him one day. I have had to choose to surround myself with positive things, and people. I cant keephaving negative things around me because I am suffereing.
Anyways, on my profile info, there is a link to my sons page. Check it out. I really dont think anyones likes bickering, but I think Rebecca has taken your info as harsh, maybe you could let her know the same thing you told me. Ok thanks

[Trialanderror]

So sorry to hear about your baby. You are doing a great thing pulling yourself out of the despair it must be and getting people together to exchange precious thoughts, whether they are controversial or not. Threads like these have helped me to re-think some of my own patterns and read how other humans master their hardships. I do have a "set of values" but I never stop re-evaluating.
Hope you feel better soon.

[RockRose]

here4,  I'm sorry about your baby.  What a horrible,  horrible story.   I can't imagine the pain,  really.

Yes,  my son has a very active personality.  He's a Rugby player,  and  I pray every weekend that he doesn't suffer a broken neck.  Literally.  But it's his own life,  he can make his own decisions,   prayers he doesn't end up dead or in a wheelchair.

I know I sound strong-minded and mean.  Sometimes that's better than just agreeing with people who I believe are totally on the wrong track.  I'm not into bickering either,  honestly,  although that may be  a surprise.  

Good night to you,  too, here4 and God bless you too.  ;D

[here4theinfo]

Ok, so far its off to an interesting start, but can we keep the positive flow going??? No more bickering, apoligies to those who deserve, no more judgmental thoughts,and lets have some good ol fashion advice...Please?? Allright, good night, may everyone sleep well...

[here4theinfo]

Thank you, Im pleased you were able to write alittle bit about yourself and your family.Im sure their are a few people that find your answers alittle rough. Anyways, thats good you allowed your son to be himself. Does he have an active personality? Play sports and stuff? My 11 year old is crazy active..This generation has its ups and downs, but like every generation, the people that live in it have to make choices that are best for them. I have met alot of people were I live that take families seriously, even though they live a balanced adult life. Woman work, men stay home, there are all kinds of things going on that is different. I really think that the people that write in here, are people that care if they take the time to write a post. So everyone should have a chance at getting positive and good information. There are so many different things in this world that are taken for granted. I am struggling right now with my life because my baby passed away a couple months ago, at three weeks old and I cant seem to find myself. I feel like I can help myself by helping others right now, but I have been surrounded by so much bad and negative things, all I want is to offer positive ideas to help me find myself.

Ok, I want to start this off again because it is more bickering than I can handle. No more statics, just good ol plain advice. I dont know how long I will be on this forum before I get busy with my physical life again, and I would rather have a positive experience than a negative one. So do you think you can try to be alittle more thoughtful in your answers, especially on this section? I would really like step parents to be comfortable when they have a problem that maybe I or others could offer a solution without it turning into frustration?? Its probaly asking alot, and I dont know you, but wouldnt you want to be known for the woman with great info, then one who judges?? All right. Thank you Good night!