My 9 Year Old was Accused of Touching Another 9 Year Old

[leeeny]

My 9 year old son was accused by another 9 year old boy of touching his privates on the bus.  This boy's parent told us that his son told him this "recently".

When we asked my son about this he said that a.) "it" happened over a year ago and b.) it was the other boy who tried to touch his privates.

Any suggestions on how to a.) reinforce appropriate touching and b.) protect my son from (perhaps) false allegations?

[RockRose]

leeeny,   you're not alone at all.  These are either concerned, normal caring parents,   (Very likely) or they are weirdos out to get you who won't listen to reason.

You kind of have to play it from here - and my guess is it will turn out well.

Best wishes.

[leeeny]

phew. wasn't sure i was replying correctly.  this is my first post.  it's nice to know i'm not alone.  i'm going to try your suggestion.  

[RockRose]

Leeeny,  no.  I wouldn't call the school if I were you.  If the call to the parents  or the meeting turns out weird,  then I would email the counselor and follow up the email with a phone call.    Email works well because you can choose your words very carefully,  and also there is a computer trail of this incident that is very clear,  and has a date stamp.

In my experience raising three boys,  I think the key here is to act concerned and involved and caring,    while noting that this happened last year and there is some dispute about the incident.  

You really don't know yet whether you're dealing with normal concerned parents - or overreacting hotheads.

Anyway,  that's what I would do - hope this all works out for you.  Parenting can be so worrisome - and other parents can either be a blessing or a curse.   Best wishes with this.

[leeeny]

Thank you.  Do you think I should call the school as well?

[RockRose]

I think you should call the other parents,  and express that you also feel concern when this sort of thing happens,  and state what your son said.   That it was last year and their son  was the one who touched.  

Just act friendly,  and concerned.

And then,  offer them a cordial invitation to come to your house with their child,  and you will all meet to discuss this and make sure everyone is on the same page that it shouldn't happen again.  

BEFORE you do this,  ask your son again if there is anything else you should know about this child or about the incident.    And reassure your son that there are people in the world who over react,  and get the story wrong,  and if something weird happens it would be nice if he told you about it rather than you hearing it from another parent.

My guess is,  this will all blow over.  

Best wishes.