Oppositional Defiant Disorder/ADHD/Mood Disorder

[dsternadel]

Someone out there please help me in finding an answer to help my 11 year old son overcome some of these hurdles.  Everyday, every morning I have to wake to him screaming at 6 30 a.m. if something doesnt go right for him. if he isnt ready to go to school, he starts to scream at the top of his lungs.  He has accidents ( BM & urinates) in his pants daily.  This has been an ongoing thing since he was 2 years old and is only getting worse.  Please....Please.....if there is someone out there that is dealing with the same thing that I am .....please email me....let me know Im not alone.......let me know that there may be some kind of hope.....

[tazbuglady]

Hello dsternadel,
Let me reassure you that you are not alone in this. I deal with a situation very very similar to that with my 13 year old son. When he was 9 I drug him into the docs office in the middle of a fit and asked about his meds causing this behavior. The meds were not causing his behavior but it most definitely was making it like 10 times worse. The intensity of his rage was just unbearable, we took him off of Adderall and put him on Strattera instead. The next few times he got upset, I could see him trying to reach that level of intensity that he was so accustomed to, however he was unable to.But I eventually took him off of the Strattera cause he wasn't growing and he was throwing up everyday and getting headaches from it. It was causing more problems than what it was helping.  My son was diagnosed as having ADHD, ODD and Sensory Integration disorder. He is very intelligent and struggles daily to keep his cool. I know your pain. Let me reassure you that he does not want to be like this. I have overheard my son praying and crying out to God to help him not be like that. It is a battle within themselves and they are only children, and do not have the ability to overcome it on their own. However, I have not yet been able to find anyone that is qualified to help him. I actually had one counselor tell me that he would benefit from Marijuana. I threw her out of my house.
The incopresis, (soiling in his pants) stopped when he started middle school.
I will certainly keep you and your family in my prayers.

[fthkp1]

Do the techniques of using a timer, get it done by the time it goes off, and you get... Or the reward board.  Can they change is med routine, so that there's still some in him when he wakes up (I don't like meds, but if they are working for you).

He is acting out, because he get attention.  I don't have the answers of how to change that, but supossedly they can be taught to understand their own emotions.

I would assume that he has a doctor since he's on meds, do he/she have any suggestions.  Because if they don't, maybe its time to seek another opinion or find someone who really listens to the whole situation.

I really hope that things get better for you.

[dsternadel]

well it was a normal sunday morning with our 6 and 10 year old boys quietly playing a video game until our 11 year old woke up and within 60 seconds turned the whole scene into utter bedlam by trying to dominate everything and everyone and resorting to his primal shrieking screaming at the top of his lungs as if someone was holding a blowtorch to his eyeball. has anyone out there ever heard of an extremely intelligent high thought function boy who can construct intricate leggo toys with critical detail and play video games for hours with concentrated focus along with excellent reasoning for thought association-etc-while at same time shredding family environment with his floor shaking tantrums and extremely foul habit of sitting in his urine and fecal soaked clothing until forced to clean up. pursuing advanced diagnostics at this time and hoping he is not beyond help.

[althepal39]

Whoa - that's pretty extreme. Sorry -  I didn't mean to simplify it.  Does he see a counselor?  Has he been through any trauma that may have triggered the ODD or did it just come on?   How does he act at school?  Maybe someone there may have some better tips for you   I wish I had a good answer for you..  Does he have any time where he is calm and rational that you can talk to him?    

[dsternadel]

I appreciate your take in routine but you must understand that some days I have to physically restrain him just to dress him, get him to take his meds and physically carry him to the van...I have been kicked, biitten, slapped, he has assaulted his younger brothers and once used his head to break the windshield of my van with no trauma to himself whatsoever. the simple act to ask him to do something he does not want to do will send him into a fit of rage which in turn will cause multiple outbursts with the other children.

[althepal39]

What meds is he on?  What special school does he go to?  Is it only ODD that is his problem?  Maybe you should just let him do the routine the way he wants as long as he gets what he has to done.. ??  Like tell him he has to do these 3 things - meds, change, and eat - and it's completely up to him how they get done.. that way he's not having a control battle with you over it.  Just let him know what time it is and what time he has to be ready and leave it at that.. would that work?  

[dsternadel]

i appreciate the feedback...its not the fact that he is not ready for school...he wants his own routine whether not he is ready for school or not...my routine for him is meds....change.....feed.....then on the bus to his special school....he doesnt see it this way....he wants to do it his way different every day and if it isnt done different every day than he starts these screaming fits that one day the neighbors may call the police...im terrified....i used to be a correctional officer.....i had to quit my job because he is having problems again....imnot sure what else to do ore where to turn to.....

[althepal39]

He sounds incredibly stressed out - why would he start screaming because he is not ready for school?  What is his normal routine for getting ready?  Is he getting enough sleep?    

[LRM1021]

There is an online support group called Daily Strength that has an ODD group, and other parenting groups. I think you might find folks on that board that have similar issues and are willing to provide support.