4 year old change in behavior

[mom23boys148]

My 4 year old son's behavior has gone through some major changes in the last month or so.  He has always been on the shy side, but recently he has really started limiting his communication.  Sometimes he refuses to say the word for something saying only the first letter - ex. "b" for ball or ponting and saying "that".  Often he is non-responsive to questions.  He'll be staring right at me and I know he hears me but he just doesn't respond. An example would be - "do you want soup or a sandwich for lunch?" and he just stares at me and says nothing or just "ok" without making a choice.  Recently I've stopped getting him anything unless he asks for it or responds to me properly and it turns into huge screaming and crying fits!   He's doing this at school, soccer, etc.  He has quite a good vocabulary and is able to express himself which is what makes this so frustrating.  He is also very loving and affectionate.  He is my middle son I have 3 boys 7,4,  and 21 months.  His soccer coach asked me if I had thought about getting him tested today.  I'm assuming he is hinting at autism or something along those lines....  Until then I had been thinking of this of more of an attention getting phase of behavior.  Any thoughts regarding what I should do??

[LRM1021]

Sometimes, severe social anxiety can make a child actually not want to speak. I would have him tested to see what's making him do this, so that you can help him. Good luck.

[bluberrymonster]

My son is 4. They are complicated! Keep in mind he can still understand YOU even though he chooses not to communicate back. Whether or not you decide to get him tested, keep talking to him! Tell him what you're thinking about, spend some time just with him in neutral territory,--at the library, getting ice cream, taking him to a movie etc. Give him options for signing instead of talking---if it's an attention getting thing he can at least avoid the screaming fits that way until he grows out of it. From what I hear, middle children often go through phases of desperate attempts at communication.
It also never hurts to get them checked out by a professional as long as they aren't made to feel different or freakish. Make sure his older sibling does not know what is going on if you take him in to get tested. At 7 they tease, even with the best of intentions and that may drive him further inward. I hope my 2 cents helps.