Please Help

[afraid_mom]

I am in a situation where we have exacerbated all resources that are within a 300 mile radius of us. My son desperately needs a placement in a 6 mo+ treatment program that will address his behavioral/emotional health, anger issues, excessive energy. I have a very limited time to find a place on my own, before, because of his recent behaviors that have caused legal action (which he has been incompetent to stand trial for), gets referred to someone who takes the choice out of my hands.
He is almost 11, was molested until he was almost 3, saw me get physically abused by the same person, is on numerous meds, diagnosed with Bi-Polar Disorder, PTSD, ADHD, ODD. Has had 17 acute hospitalizations, 6 months of residential treatment, voluntary treatment/therapeutic foster care, psychiatrist, therapists, case managers...
We have run out of options, I need to find a program to meet his needs...I do not care where in the country it is, though the closer to Ohio the better I will make it work wherever it may be. I feel a program that is at a ranch, or somewhere he has to have responsibilities, along with his treatment would best serve him. We are Christian non-denominational, so any christian/spiritual environment would be wonderful.
Please pass on any info you may have on someplace I may try to get him help that has a chance at working in the long run!

[benjimom]

http://www.psysolutions.com/facilities/index.html

I found this on the net, they have a facility in Ohio. CHeck it out.  Keep us updated.

[benjimom]

This is not your fault, I'm sorry it has gotten so bad.  Maybe you need to call 911 when he is out of control, tell them you fear for your life, maybe it will get your son into a hospital.  Also, if it's bad tonight, call the on-call psychiatrist, demand an answer and help.  Tell them you can't deal with it anymore and ask for more resources. Do you have friends or family who can give you a break and help you not feel so alone?

This sounds like a total nightmare. I'm sorry you are going through this. Do you have the financial resources for residential treatment?

[afraid_mom]

Thanks for all the comments!
It was my 1st husband (only possible bio dad, but he has gotten around those responsibilities).
I am at my wits end...the psychiatrist won't listen re: his meds even, and I am stuck up until 4 am with him and dealing with a maniac tornado all day...just had to pay $120 for someone to come help clean, and have about 5 holes in my walls, baseball bat dents in my cars...he has 4 charges pending and the courts find him incompetent but state they believe he'll be back and competent soon.
He did have a therapist, but she decided she had gone as far as she could with him...she said she has given him skills, he just needs to choose to use them.
The only time he came close to real progress was while in residential treatment a few years ago, but even though the divorce decree stated my ex-husband (the perpetrator of the abuse) gave him no parental rights, the magistrate decided that enough time had passed and he should get supervised visits, which undid all the progress, and then my ex walked away again after failing to get anymore than supervised visits. All this just made my son more angry, and violent, along with making him a bigger maniac tornado!!

I am trying but, it just keeps getting harder, and I am scared if it keeps going this way, my son will end up in and out of some sort of institution the rest of his life. They need to tackle his inner demons (so to speak) and quit telling me that I'm a good mom, and have helped him with every resource available to me. I don't feel like a good mom because he isn't getting any better...if anything else he's getting worse!!!!

[benjimom]

I am so sorry you have been through SO much.  Do you have a regular psychiatrist that your son sees?  Maybe he could recommend something.   I hope you find somthing athat will help him and please make sure you get help yourself.  With all that, you need help too.

[RockRose]

Was this his biological father who abused him and abused you?  If so,  his therapy probably needs to take into account that he may have inherited some of his personality disorders and then additionally had a very difficult start with the family life.

I agree with Special Mom about googling - I just typed in "Boy's Ranch" and got numerous hits - it just kind of depends on what suits you best.  

Best wishes.  

[specialmom]

Oh goodness.  It sounds like you and your son have really been through the ringer.  I'm sorry about all of this and hope that you find the place that you need.  I don't know of anywhere -------------  but I'm thinking you could make one phone call to his psychiatrist and ask these same questions.   A quick google would maybe bring some answers as well.  Good luck to you all.  Such a young boy to suffer so!!!  I'm sure you are terrified for him.  Best wishes.

[stayathomemommyof2]

for 1 i would have him reevaluated and make sure he has thes problems that i ssome pretty searious stuff and im sure he is on alot of meds maybe what he needs id counseling not meds and pray most impt pray God will help u help ur son